I have a confession to make: I haven't recorded a new voicemail greeting in nearly a decade. Since then, I've (hopefully) become more articulate, poised, and self-assured. But hear my voicemail recording, and you'd think I was still new to the work world, a little unsure of myself — and probably not an authority.
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I have no idea if I’ve dialed the right number or if I’m about to leave a message for Kim Jong-il (why wouldn’t Kim Jong-il have a cellphone with a Lancaster County, PA area code?). If I’m killed tonight by snipers from North Korea, this is all your fault.
It was funny the first time it got you, and then it was not funny the next 8,306 times.
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“Hey! You’ve reached us here at [XYZ company]. All our team is currently out of the office for the holidays. We’ll be back to work on [date] well-fed and therefore eager to speak with you!
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Now moving into the second paragraph, me and my wife and my partner James, our local Memphians, there's a reason that I refer to my wife. No, she's not involved in our house buying business actively.
Hi, you have reached (names) voicemail. If you want money or to sell us something, we a) gave at the office, b) already have it, or c) don’t want it. If you are a …
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Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.
Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker.
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Hellooo....Hellloooo, well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return.
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6. "Hi, this is [your name]. I'm either on a call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and I'll get back to you. Thank you.
No17: Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.
Translation: If you sound unsure, then your current clients, prospects, and partners won’t be so sure about you either.
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JP always has great content as well as you always learn something new coming to his site. Great content brother!
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Now, we’ve covered the topic a bit at length in the past, with sure-fire ways to engage callers with your business voicemail greeting. Still a solid basis for constructing your new voicemail greeting, we’ll cover a quick recap of the most important aspects of a voicemail greeting for those that are unfamiliar.
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Unfortunately, sometimes things get too busy in the salon for it to be possible to have a staff member only on reception duty. As a result, you rely on a salon voicemail greeting to do the job. But is it doing the job?
You have entered into a glorious pool of sound. You are traveling through time with a weightless companion known as music, and as Liquid Parallax as your tour guide, prepare to be exhilarated. Amusing / Fun-Sites / Humor Funny Answering Machine Voice Messages by Joey on Dec 9, 2007 • 3:27 pm 3 Comments
I noticed I missed his call and he left a voice mail, when I listened to the voice mail it was my dads voice saying "NAME, NUMBER" and it ended.
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5. Business Answering Service Messages. These business answering messages can be edited to fit any type of business. It is important to anticipate what your callers may want to know even if the callers are not able to get anyone on the phone.
Website: https://www.austincc.edu/offices/telecommunications-services/tutorials-and-reference-guides/sample-voicemail-greetings
What you need to record creative and funny voicemail greetings. Creative voicemail greetings are a terrific engagement and personalization tool for business. But to make them work, you need a business phone system that makes recording, tweaking, and uploading voicemail …
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A general voicemail greeting is what callers will be greeted with if you are unable to answer the phone at work. It is the everyday greeting, used as the default, unless you have set up a temporary greeting, such as an away message while you're on vacation, or a special message during a holiday.
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These were some of the best and funny voice-mail greetings. Try recording them in your voice mailbox.
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Hello, this is the Computer Music Research Institute of Portland, Oregon. We can't take your call at the moment, but we would like you to leave a critique of one of our current works in progress.
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“Good morning. You’ve reached the voicemail of [your name]. Today is [date]. Please leave me a message with your name and contact information. Oh, and here’s my motivational quote of the day: [read quote].”
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What's better than one of these not-so-funny voicemail messages? A voicemail greeting that's well written and professionally recorded. The most important thing to remember when writing a new voicemail is don't waste the caller's time. A concise, informative voicemail may seem "square," but its better than irritating and alienating potential business opportunity. Tags: resources, tips, greetings Recent Blogs Taking Your Presentations To The Next Level With Audio and Voice April 01, 2019 Tools to Support Message on Hold Production October 12, 2018 tips (186) resources (163) message on hold (154) marketing (118) customer experience (101) Home Forums > COLOSSEUM > Humor & Jokes >
By using this form you agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website. * Westworld Theme Song Stranger Things Theme Song Narcos Ringtone Wonder Woman Ringtone Avengers Infinity War Ringtone Peaky Blinders Ringtone Jumanji Drums Ringtone Thor Ragnarok Ringtone Animal Ringtones (100) Christian Ringtones (97) Funny Ringtones (371) Message Tones (286) Movie Ringtones (463) Music Ringtones (3,145) Classical Music Ringtones (130) Country Music Ringtones (37) Instrumental Ringtones (1,710) Rock Ringtones (118) Theme Songs (956) National Anthem (68) Old Phone Ringtones (96) Scary Ringtones (130) SFX (279) Siren Sounds (80) Star Wars Ringtones (68) Video Game Ringtones (222) Download from Firefox on Desktop computer: right-click the link to the Download MP3 > Save Link As... to download the file before loading it. Harry Potter Ringtone Bottle Opener Ringtone Android La Casa De Papel Theme Song Omg Flute Ringtone The Good The Bad And The Ugly Ringtone Hero Ringtone iPhone Ding Sound Imperial March Ringtone
Hello, this is Jason's voice. Jason's not here right now -- hey, haven't you ever lost your voice? Well, believe you me, when I find him again, I'll have a few choice words for him. If you do too, leave them after the beep.
Leave your name, number and text message after beeping.Oh, please wait for me to call you back.Bye.Hello...My name is the fridge (your name.He/she is not at home to answer your call now.To leave a message for him/her, speak very slowly so I can leave a message with the help of these fridge magnets.
Hi, this is Jim. Thanks for calling during my spring pledge drive. A basic membership is only $30, and a $60 pledge gets you an "I love Jim Shea" T-shirt. Please wait for the tone, and thank you for your pledge.
I bet you’re not anything close to a “babbling idiot” when leaving a voicemail, but I understand, and until I put the following practices into everyday use, I too felt like I wasn’t showcasing my best self when leaving messages.
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If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional. This is David. Please leave one.We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself.
Hi! I’m not here right now, I seem to have broken my tomatoes…You wouldn’t happen to have any tomato paste on you, would ya?
It’s one thing to read a Morgan Freeman voicemail greeting script and quite another to listen to it. Click here to experience this voicemail message on Youtube.
21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages. Mp3 previews are low resolution the purchased wav files are professional quality the same sound effects used in hundreds of. This video is unavailable. Spice up your phones with these funny answering machine messages ive put in for you guys.
You’ve reached [LinkedPhone – Where Freedom Rings]. We are currently off-duty. Our business hours are [Monday through Saturday, 9am to 7pm Eastern Standard Time]. Please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call and we’ll get back to you on the next business day. Thank you.
3. Thank you for calling GetVoIP, we are currently away due to the holiday, and our office will be closed from Monday the 12th, until Friday the 16th. We apologize for any inconvenience and look forward to serving you once we return. Please feel free to visit our website, GetVoIP.com, to learn more about how we can help.
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No10: (Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP
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No44: Steve has been captured by a flying saucer and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message, I'll have him call you back as soon as he gets away. Read all about it in next week's National Enquirer.
Pressing 3 is optional. This is David. Please leave one. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. I am not in the office today; I may not be in tomorrow.Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers:. Our previous post on funny voicemail greetings got so much attention, we thought we'd continue….
ProfileFriendsGroupsDiscussionsCommentsReading ChallengeKindle Notes & HighlightsQuotesFavorite genresFriends’ recommendationsAccount settingsHelpSign out Start by marking “No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages” as Want to Read: We’d love your help. Let us know what’s wrong with this preview of No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages by John Carfi. Problem: It’s the wrong book It’s the wrong edition Other Not the book you’re looking for? Preview — No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages by John Carfi liked it 3.00 · Rating details · 3 ratings · 1 review Published March 28th 1984 by CCC Publications (first published March 1984) 0918259002 (ISBN13: 9780918259004) To ask other readers questions about No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages, please sign up. Be the first to ask a question about No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Add this book to your favorite list » Aug 02, 2014 Kelly rated it liked it I like this book. Great, snarky answering machine messages. There's something so special about each class of debut YA authors; after all, young adult fiction is all about the hopefulness of new... Company About us Careers Terms Privacy Interest Based Ads Ad Preferences Help AirPods AirPods Max AirPods Pro Apple Car Apple Deals Apple Glasses Apple Pay Apple Pro Display XDR Apple TV Apple Watch SE Apple Watch Series 7 CarPlay HomePod HomePod mini iMac iOS 14 iOS 15 iPad iPad Air iPad mini iPad Pro iPadOS 14 iPadOS 15 iPhone 11 iPhone 12 iPhone 13 iPhone 13 Pro iPhone 14 iPhone SE 2020 iPod touch Mac mini Mac Pro MacBook Air MacBook Pro 13" MacBook Pro 16" macOS Big Sur macOS Monterey watchOS 7 watchOS 8 Home New Posts Forum List Trending New Threads New Media Spy New posts WikiPost Latest summaries Watched WikiPosts Support FAQ and Rules Contact Us Thread starter patrick0brien Start date Jun 14, 2006 Sort by reaction score
The History of the Answering Machine » bit.ly/39sgo7a 88 Creative Answering Machine Messages » bit.ly/3whSrZI 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages » bit.ly/3ub17iY
Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it...
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This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test.
2. The Simpsons Share a Funny Answering Greeting. If you’re looking for a short and simple message, we suggest turning to Homer Simpson as he tells callers to… leave a message.
Dad left this on my voicemail today. Who is known to stay outside all day, all night, all week, all month, and all year? (sigh......, who, dad?) Patty O'Furniture. Bwah ha ha ha! (good one, dad.....)
The bottom line is that a business’s situation is likely to change often and rapidly, each of which need a unique and applicable voicemail greeting to cover the circumstances and timeline. For example, callers shouldn’t reach a business-as-usual voicemail, and therefore expect a return call within the business day, if the subject they’re calling is out on vacation for two weeks. Such a lack of communication is a recipe to lose that caller’s trust and tarnish the brand’s reputation.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and so are you. The roses have wilted, the violets are dead. The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head. The roses stink, sorta like sheep. But leave your name, number, and message after the beep. The roses are molding, the violets are rotten. And I might call you back, if I haven't forgotten.
“In case you have forgotten, this is a machine – my owner does not want siding, the newspaper, or the carpets cleaned. He donates to charity through its office and do not want their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave a message and we’ll see if he calls you back.”
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-So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.-Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.-Roses are red booger’s are green please leave your message on this …
After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server.
She’s rolling down the window; oh man I think she sprayed him with pepper spray. His hands are on his face and he’s on his knees. She’s getting out and beating him with an umbrella.
This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean.
My labour was filed for a software engineer position (java, udb, etc) 3 years ago. Over that time, my role has changed to a project manager. Infact I don't do any coding anymore. If I invoke AC21 after 180 days, can I switch to a Project Manager position?
It includes two phone handsets and stores up to 17 minutes of messages to accommodate plenty of calls. We also love the VTech CS6729-5 DECT 6.0 Cordless Phone System with Digital Answering Machine because it includes five handsets, stores up to 14 minutes of messages, and allows you to remotely access your messages. Filter Type All Time Past 24 Hours Past Week Past month Contact List Found1. 603-413-4124 New Contact Listing› Abu Dhabi Islamic Bank› Rocketreach› Amigo Mexican Restaurant› How To Connect A Ps4 Controller To Steam› Westlake Financial Services› Snapfon Eztwo Unlocked› Rockstar Games› Defense Health Agency› Aged Care Decisions› Abc Accounting And Tax Services› Betterhelp› Metro Services Inc› Iphone› Social Security Administration› Activtrades› Epic Games› Metamask› Rosedale ServiceBrowse All Listing » Frequently Asked QuestionsCan you put a funny message on Your Answering Machine?
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No5: You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me.
My labour was filed for a software engineer position (java, udb, etc) 3 years ago. Over that time, my role has changed to a project manager. Infact I don't do any coding anymore. If I invoke AC21 after 180 days, can I switch to a Project Manager position?
IT STARTED OUT just like any normal day for … let’s call him Jimmy* … but little did he know he was destined to witness a group of old ladies beat up a man who had just crashed into them, with pepper spray, an umbrella and a bible!
The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail. A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century.
I love my job because [XYZ company] is the best place to work at. Please leave your full name, contact info, number and other details and I’ll call back within 24 hours! Thanks a bunch.”
Click here to watch the Youtube video of Adele singing an acapella version of “Hello.”