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No25: Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back -- only that I won't.

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19. Hi, you’ve reached [employee name]’s voicemail box. [Employee first name] no longer works for [company name]. Please call our main line at [phone number] and we’ll be happy to connect you with a current team member who can help.
Hi, this is John's answering machine again. He's gone and left me for a sleazy microwave he met at Krazy Eddy's. Life sucks. .

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Are you thinking about changing your voicemail greeting? Would you like some help from us? Set up a cranky, funny voicemail, and share a moment of laughter with your dear ones, before they understand your intention behind it and run to get you!
“You’ve reached Bernice’s phone. I’m getting a tooth pulled on Tuesday and don’t feel like talking. In fact, I’ll probably sleep for about four days after the procedure. Tooth resorption is not a joke, friends. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Let your human brush your damn teeth, even if it feels like you’re about to DIE by way of tiny toothbrush. Also, I’ll be accepting gifts of gravy in the days following the extraction.”

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I’ve assembled this list in mid-nineties from the messages that people were emailing around. As far as I know, the author of this list is unknown. Book a free demo Request a quote
If you are a burglar, then we’re probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can’t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t home and it’s safe to leave us a message.

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He’s hit him in the head with the bible. She picked the bible up and lifted it way over her head…and she’s still beating the hell out of this guy. She picked this bible up and raised it above her head and beamed the guy.

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Hello… pause. Hello… long pause. Who is this? long pause again Is anyone on the line?…long pause and beep sound.

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    Please dial the number you are calling. You are calling the number you have dialed. I’m sorry, you have 40 cents. Please deposit more money.

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    Roses are red booger's are green please leave your message on this stupid machine .

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    I like the NLP within the script. I also like how comfortable it is and how much you focus on being local as I am new to wholesaling and plan to focus where I live in person versus virtual.

    Sound upbeat in your message. When recording, be sure to say your message with a smile on your face. It’s obvious when people aren’t happy in their message. Since your work revolves around keeping happy customers, do your part by keeping a happy-sounding voicemail message.
    The History of the Answering Machine » bit.ly/39sgo7a 88 Creative Answering Machine Messages » bit.ly/3whSrZI 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages » bit.ly/3ub17iY

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    -So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.

    Funny Voicemail Greetings This isn’t a joke. At any rate, it is authentic! Two or three clients genuinely feel they’re disregarded when their voice message goes straight for voice message. Voice message personalization grants you to stay away from the contrary energies. It is commonsense to make entrancing phone messages great good tidings
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  • best professional voicemail greetings examples

    Recording the message yourself doesn’t mean it can’t be done professionally. You can still get studio time with an experienced audio engineer. Studio time can cost $60-$100 per hour, which may or may not come with an engineer. If you need to hire one, their rates are usually $100-$300 an hour. Mind you, their feedback, professional experience, and editing capabilities are typically well worth the extra expense.

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    Currently there are no lifeforms available to take your call but at the pre-arranged audio signal, please feel free to leave any verbal communication you feel is necessary.

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The moral of the story? Don’t trust old ladies! They’re armed and dangerous and should you see one please contact your local Garda Station.

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Tools and techniques for profitable persuasion beamed directly to your pocket monthly. CategoriesCategories Select Category Brand Image Brand Presence Brand Story Employment Branding Marketing Strategy Tags

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6. Adele Sings Hello as an Outgoing Phone Message. A great way to incorporate a fun voicemail greeting in today’s age is re-writing the lyrics to a current billboard topping hit.

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