really funny voicemail greetings

Hi this is Andrew. If you are an ex-girlfriend, suck it up and move on. If not, I do have a life that is obviously being used so leave a message and if I have time, ill try to squeeze you in.

I've assembled this list in mid-nineties from the messages that people were emailing around. As far as I know, the author of this list is unknown.
Website: https://cellphones.lovetoknow.com/cell-phone-guides-how-tos/great-quotes-leave-voicemail
“This is not a voice-mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.”
If you end up in a prolonged game of phone tag despite your best voice mail efforts, it may be best to schedule a face-to-face appointment or a planned phone conversation at a specific time for cases that require a real discussion about test results or treatment options. Veterinary practices Marketing About the Author Roxanne Hawn View Bio Related Content Animal Health 7 Email Marketing Strategies and When to Use Them Animal Health Can You Repeat That? Animal Health Stronger veterinary marketing in the age of online scrolling LinkedIn YouTube Facebook Instagram Twitter Copyright ©2021 AmerisourceBergen Corporation. All Rights Reserved. Business VoIPHosted PBXSIP TrunkingEnterprise VoIPCall Center SoftwareUnified CommunicationsWeb ConferencingTeam CollaborationResidential VoIP
You need to use Garageband on the mac to turn the mp3 into an m4r file (ringtone) then sync it to your phone from your mac, if you don't own Garageband a friend may be able to convert the file for you. If you could send me the file say via Dropbox and attach it to this thread I could convert and send it back to you. More Less. Jun 12, 2016 8:49 PM. !

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personal voicemail greeting examples for cell phone funny

Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.

Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker. 22. "Hi, you've reached [your name, the office of X company]. We're closed until [date]. Please leave your name and phone number and someone will return your call ASAP. Have a great [New Year's, Fourth of July, etc.]." If you disable this cookie, we will not be able to save your preferences. This means that every time you visit this website you will need to enable or disable cookies again. 14. "Hello, you've reached the Sales Department at [Company name]. All of our representatives are currently helping clients [insert goal such as, 'achieve 40% growth through streamlining HR operations'] and are unable to take your call. Please leave your name, company, and phone number and we'll give you a call back ASAP. Thank you!" A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we’re not here. So leave a message. Below are examples of excellent professional voicemail greetings for various situations to help you get started in creating your own perfect greeting! For each, we’ve included helpful tips, a sample voicemail greeting script, and an audio recording. The greetings are grouped by company greetings, department / team greetings, and personal business greetings. These greetings are likely longer than what you would want to use in real life – but our goal is to help you generate ideas to help you create your own! funny voicemail script funny greetings for letters funny greetings for your voicemail Close Project funny greetings for voicemail Now moving into the second paragraph, me and my wife and my partner James, our local Memphians, there's a reason that I refer to my wife. No, she's not involved in our house buying business actively. voicemail funny greetings -This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when. Join 100k readers and get exclusive VoIP industry headlines delivered to your inbox. Customer Service vs Customer Support: Differences and Best Practices How to Deal With Difficult Customers: Actionable Tips for Call Center Agents & Managers 8 Actionable Ways to Reduce Hold Times Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... Don't even think about it! Don't! If you want your business proposals, price quotes, and contracts to stand out and give you the best chance at winning new clients, use ClientPoint's business proposal software. It makes creating and formatting professional business proposals, price quotes, and contracts fast and easy. Click the button below to get a FREE demo of ClientPoint. PREVIOUS ARTICLE How to write a business proposal executive summary NEXT ARTICLE Sales strategies - How to turn "I want to think about it" into a "YES" Hi. This is David. I’ve shut the ringers off on my phones and taken a sedative. As soon as I finish this recording I’m going to bed indefinitely. When I wake up I’ll play my messages. Please leave one. free greeting messages for voicemail best funny voicemail message professional voicemail greetings for business Close Project how do you listen to a voice message on instagram Hello. I'm not at home right now because I'm out making changes in my life so leave a message and if I don't call you back, you're probably one of those changes. (BEEP) This article is your complete guide to resetting the voicemail password on an iPhone. Know how to secure your voicemail inbox, with periodic password changes. Out Now: ‘Collection of SaGa: Final Fantasy Legend’, ‘Pokemon UNITE’, ‘Indies’ Lies’, ‘The Lord of the Rings: Rise to War’, ‘Project ICHR’, ‘Unholy Society’ and More As an added bonus, posting a job on Voices.com is always free. They also have a VoiceMatch™ algorithm to match your job to only the most qualified voice talent. Oh, one more thing;Where do you say you live?Hi.I need some money if this is my parents.If this is my friend, I will give you your money.If this is a hot girl, don't listen to what I said before. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. All Career Advice Finding a job Working Interviewing Applying Resumes & Applications Seasonal Flexible Life Tips Fun Read what is a purim greeting greeting for phone voicemail business voicemail greetings mp3 Close Project voicemail pro record greeting 24. "Thank you for calling [company]. We're closed for [holiday] from [date] until [date]. Please leave your message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a happy holiday season!" 5. The Urgency + Mystery Combo. Once you’ve gotten the basics of those last four scripts, you can combine examples to get even more creative. This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks. So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk. Leave a message till then. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been? 22. Hello, this is [your name]. I’m currently away from my phone. I return calls on Tuesday and Friday at 10 a.m. Please leave a detailed message including your name and a callback number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. free custom professional voicemail greetings what is a good personal voicemail greeting creative professional voicemail greetings Close Project samples of professional voicemail greetings -Roses are red booger’s are green please leave your message on this stupid machine. Readers also Love to Read:100+ Affirmations for Long Distance Relationship 59+ Best Goodbye Messages to Colleagues 101+ Catchy Goodbye Slogans and Quotes 48+ Best Wedding Puns and Funny Quotes “Learn to Stress Less” 68+ Inspiring Quotes High Quality Prismatic deep cycle rechargeable Lithium Lifepo4 Battery Cell 3.2V 100Ah for energy storage power There are many times during a busy work day that you will have to be away from your phone. Meetings, lunches, bathroom breaks and more. 5 Not available to answer the call voicemail scripts and demos IT STARTED OUT just like any normal day for … let’s call him Jimmy* … but little did he know he was destined to witness a group of old ladies beat up a man who had just crashed into them, with pepper spray, an umbrella and a bible! Hello, Mom. Good morning! But if you think about it as a day of fun and learning, you will have so much energy and enthusiasm to wing whatever this day will drop in on you. Seize the day! Take your sweet time. Make sure that your hair is freshly washed and fabulously blown out. Did you know that every minute, a person posts a motivational or inspiring quote that they do not live by? So, is it, Mom? Oh, good morning, by the way! Trust me, Mom. When I woke up this morning, I really had no plans of being drop dead gorgeous, insanely witty, and hopelessly charming. “Is it displacing phone calls? Not to any significant degree. I was just in a practice yesterday that has 30 incoming phone lines and cannot keep up with the call volume with four receptionists on at all times.” funny voicemail voices business voicemail greetings script best professional voicemail greetings Close Project X