Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm SO depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, God how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.
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"Hello? ...Hello? ...Hellooo? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak up, I can't hear you... That's 'cuz I'm not home! Leave a message.
“Hi, you’ve reached [XYZ Company]. We can’t take your call right now but feel free to call back during business hours from [hour] to [hour], Monday through Friday. In case of an urgent query, you can contact us through our website [URL] and access our live chat.
OK, so I followed all the instructions that came with the machine. I pressed all the necessary buttons. So… now what? I… am… so… confused. Could you please… beep.
“Can you hear me? Can you hear me? I don’t think if this thing works. I’m probably guarding my litter box right now so the dog doesn’t steal my deposits. This is important work, so I can’t distract myself with phone calls. I’ll catch up with you later. Is this even working? Leave a message and hopefully I’ll figure out how to retrieve it.”
I’ve been fond of Jane Barbe’s voice since it is familiar to anyone who has experienced a telephone problem. The mashups came from actual recordings.
Website: https://weirdomatic.com/weird-and-funny-answering-machine-messages-thatll-make-you-laugh.html
No1: Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
You’ve worked hard on your application. You’ve double- and triple-checked for spelling errors and you know you are a perfect fit for this job. You’ve followed up on your application and made such a great impression that the employer decides they want to call you in for an interview. You are checking your phone, anxiously awaiting the call…but nothing seems to happen.
Website: https://funnypng.blogspot.com/1976/12/funny-voicemail-greetings-audio.html
The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. Noland Voyd. I do NOT want greeting messages. Update 2: cind, that is funny lol. I'll have to try it sometime.
I’m Sorry, We’re Sorry (They are all very sorry). Reminds me of Brion Gysin (Try track 3, 4, and 5).
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Hi. This is Kevin and Diana's vacuum cleaner. Their appliances have switched jobs again, and I get to answer the phone 'cause my old job sucked. So leave a message after you hear the beep, and you can be sure it's in the bag.
Funny voicemail greetings are just that. These types of greetings have no rules whatsoever. They’re just for funsies, so make those you care for the laugh. Most of the time, they are personal, but certain businesses can use them as well. Perhaps you operate a theatrical costume company that specializes in clown memorabilia, or perhaps you run a business that sells pranks, such as plastic puppy poo, and whoopee cushions.
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