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“I’m answering this phone for my friend who tells me it’s your nature to hang up and not leave a message, but I should remind you that nature is what we are put on this earth to rise above. So please, leave a message at the sound of the beep… for the sake of anthropology.”

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Keep it simple, concise and to the point. Callers won’t need your life story, and won’t want to wait around for a 2-minute greeting to end just so they can leave a message. Don’t hide the details, tell them where you will be, when you will be there, or when you won’t be there, and how to get in touch.
16. "Hmm. Gryffindor … No, Ravenclaw. Yes, you definitely belong in Ravenclaw. *Pause.* Okay, you haven't reached the Sorting Hat — it's the voicemail of [your name]. Please leave your name and number (and just for fun, the Harry Potter house you think you belong in) and I'll return your call as soon as possible." .

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A woman calls to report a beheaded squirrel behind a building on Christmas day. She also mentions that a couple kids have got sick due to the headless squirrel. I can just picture this scene.
“Ummm… uh, listen carefully. I, I have only 10 seconds to explain to you how to leave a message on one of these machines. Now… now, the first step is, is the most important step there is. What, what you’ve gotta do is ummm… and, and, and, and, uh… well.”

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I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.
Holy crap! I just found the recording of a fraternity brother's voicemail from college! I'll post EDIT: Right now... "Our new years resolution was to stay home more and answer our phone, but I guess we're not doing that. Leave a message after the beep " Choppy Prerecorded man's voice "Hello, Please leave a message after the tone " (verizon lady voice)- "Hello - 'Erik' (my voice) - is currently not available. Please leave a message after the tone. To leave a callback number press 5. " Sep 13, 2003 3,303 32 Its not so much where you are as when you are. I did that one once. Pissed the hell out of the telemarketers. See they have an autodialer which listens for the first bit of the phone call. If its something a person says then it hands the call to a person. For a while I also started answering the phone like an answering machine and got all sorts of people just hanging up on me. "Our new years resolution was to stay home more and answer our phone, but I guess we're not doing that. Leave a message after the beep " "Hello?......Hello?....I'm sorry, can you speak up please, I can barely here you....What's that?...I'm sorry, we're not home right now, please leave a message and we'll get back to you soon...." I like the "Hello? ", caught a few people talking to the answering machine with that one. "Hi mom, hi dad.. is not here." etc., etc.

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    4. HulloMail Smart Voicemail. HulloMail is among the best visual voicemail app for android 2018 offering advanced voicemail services with its simple and easy-to-use interface.

    That is the funniest voice mail I’ve ever heard. If that is a real voice mail I would say that rep needs some serious training. I work for a direct seed company and all of our work is over the telephone. Here is a sample of a voice mail that I might leave: “This is Mike with XXXX Seed. I’m calling for a couple of reasons: First of all I wanted to say thanks for your business and support. Also, I wanted to find out how your planting season is going and provide some information that could be valuable to your farm. When you get this message, please call me back at XXXX. Thank you!
    With my cell phone in my hand and her watching her show. I asked her if she could get me a beer and she said no. Then her cell phone rang in the kitchen and she quickly got up to see what it was. My message said while you're in the kitchen can you get me a beer. I don't remember the rest

  • best professional voicemail greetings examples

    So, I added a, you, uh, your, uh, just a pause or maybe a little chuckle in here or there just to make it sound organic. So right off the top, if we've already spoken about your house and you just need to leave a message, press pound now and leave a message after the tone. So that obviously has a practical use because if sellers call back because that's the only number that they have, maybe the second or third time, I don't want to have to make them endure the entire message before they leave us a message. And that is actually how Vumber works.

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    “We are thrilled to be partnering with YouMail to help entertainers such as Katt Williams connect with their fans through YouMail’s unique and innovative voicemail service,” said Gary Binkow, CEO of Salient Media. “YouMail offers not only a way to connect entertainers with their fans, but also gives fans the opportunity to express their personality and interests in a new and exciting way.”

    Top 7 business voicemail greetings. 1. Hi, you’ve reached [ you name] of [ your business ]. I’m sorry that I’m not available to answer your call at the present time. Please leave your name, number and a quick message at the tone and I’ll forward your message to the appropriate person. 2.
    If you are hearing this tape, then I'm not here now. Please leave your name, number, D.O.B, address, social security number, age, height, weight, how many children you have, what sex you are, your mother’s maiden name, and the date and time when you called me. If you are still listening, then whatever you have to say must be very important. Please leave a message after the beep. advice (8) animals (1) cars (1) chain (1) cool (14) cute (13) food (7) funny (219) game (1) gender (1) gross (9) health (6) history (3) hollywood (2) interesting (45) jokes (68) nature (4) office (2) picture (14) sappy (8) science (6) stories (2) stupid (21) travel (7) video (22) warning (7) women (2) Archive April (3) November (4) November (3) March (1) February (1) January (2) December (6) November (2) October (2) September (3) June (2) March (1) January (1) August (5) June (2) May (19) April (6) March (5) February (10) January (11) December (15) November (14) October (17) September (18) August (21) July (30) June (29) May (23) April (31) March (4)

  • how to leave a funny voicemail message

    Many of these sites offer to write your voicemail script for you, but you’re welcome to write your own. Whatever you decide, there are many options to suit your needs.

    Save the funny voicemail greetings for your home phone, and let us handle your business phone. Since our digital call center is open 24/7/365, you will never be greeted by a voicemail greeting requesting you to leave a message. However, our staff loves to have fun when we can so …
    Download and install Slydial onto your phone.Sign up for an account and log into the app.Dial 267-SLYDIAL to connect to the service.Enter the cell number you are trying to reach when prompted.Leave your message.See More....What is the best answering machine message?

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good personal voicemail greeting examples

Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.

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Tip: If you’re not sure how to leave a good voicemail, check out the most effective voicemail script ever and how to end a voicemail that keeps the sales conversation open.

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You want to know why? So leave a message at the beep. Hi…You have reached name. I am unable to answer your call. Leave your name and number and I will return your call…If you are a bill collector, please send me a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can send you my latest bills. Have a great day! The number you have reached is currently not in service, but when I wake up and turn my phone back on, it will be! If you are someone looking to give me a job, press 2.

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Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it’s not working right. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does……

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