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A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future.

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According to Gartner Research, more than two-thirds of companies compete for business today primarily based on customer experience – up from only one-third back in 2010. Knowing this, it should not surprise you that customer-centric companies are 60% more profitable than companies that are not.
Home / Uncategorized / 15 Hilariously Funny Voicemail Ideas – Make Yours Like These .

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Open the Phone app on your iPhone. Find and tap the icon on your home screen to open Phone. 2. Tap the Voicemail tab. You can find this button in the lower-right corner of your screen. It will open a list of all your recent voicemail messages. 3. Tap the voicemail you want to download.
Jimmy pulled over while on his way to Dallas to give his friend Mark a call. Alas Mark didn’t answer so Jimmy decides to leave him a voicemail.

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No26: (Deadpan voice:) Hi, This is Dave. Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone.
Oh lord…is it you…again? Well, if you must, leave a name and number after the beep. I’ll try to return the call, if I can stand it, that is.

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10. “You are gonna be my new phone buddy.” Many people tend to come in the list of your best pals. This might be a great way to take your friendship to a whole new level.

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I find myself the most inspired when listening to soft upbeat music, and this morning the tune was one of the most recent Mac Miller tracks. This might seem irrelevant right just now, but some of the lyrics were amazingly applicable to the danger of using a salon voicemail as your receptionist.

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    I know you're out there. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don’t know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end, I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I'm going to show them a world, without you. A world without rules and controls. Without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there, is a choice I leave to you.

    Sources report that when a single caller finally listened to Fulton’s voicemail, they didn’t fall for it.
    I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I can come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone now, recording this message, but I'm doing this now, while you're listening to it later, except for you I guess it's now, like, when you're listening to it ... now I'm confused ... leave a message and I'll explain later.

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    Here are some of the examples. ! Best Voicemail Greetings ! These voicemail greeting ideas will be your help to inform the callers that you are not available, you are doing something or you are out of the office. ! 1. Hi! You have reached voicemail of (your name), (job title). I …

    4 Funny Voice Mail To jazz up your voice mail and put a bit of theater into it, you can take the quote from Samuel; "The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded." Say this in a powerful booming tone, and then add on in your regular voice "I can't come to the phone right now but leave a message and I'll get back to you."
    Hello… pause. Hello… long pause. Who is this? long pause again Is anyone on the line?…long pause and beep sound.

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    First you need to know how much time your phone system or provider allows for the duration of the greeting. Some are 30 sec some are longer. Then you need to have a few ideas of what you want to say, or ask your callers.

    "Hello? ...Hello? ...Hellooo? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak up, I can't hear you... That's 'cuz I'm not home! Leave a message.
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    1. 1-603-413-4124: Calling Santa. Ever thought of reaching out to Santa months before the Christmas period? Well, this line allows you to talk to the man in charge of deciding who gets what for Christmas.

    2. It should only take 8 seconds to connect me with your phone, and no longer. So if I have to listen to 15 seconds of your crappy music, it means you’ve prolonged the connection process just to expose me to your musical tastes. How dare you.
    I bet you’re not anything close to a “babbling idiot” when leaving a voicemail, but I understand, and until I put the following practices into everyday use, I too felt like I wasn’t showcasing my best self when leaving messages.

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funny voicemail greetings

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Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for your amusement and use. Today I've decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time. Hey, how are you? Just wanted to let you know that I'm not here so leave a message!

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So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.

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I’m Sorry, We’re Sorry (They are all very sorry). Reminds me of Brion Gysin (Try track 3, 4, and 5).

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