This guy is looking to get rid of his "blackish white groundhog guinea pig" and wants us to come pick it up.
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Stephen Colbert asked Samuel L. Jackson to record his infamous voice on his outgoing message recording. Click here and listen on Youtube to what it would sound like if Mr. Jackson leant his voice to your voicemail recording.
No32: (Noisy pick-up of phone.) Hi, I'm a burglar and I was just about to steal Troy's answering machine. If you give me your name and number I'll... Uh, I'll post it on the fridge where he'll see it. Uh... By the way, where did you say you live?
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A professional voicemail greeting is a recorded message that welcomes callers to your business when no one is available to pick up the call. For a polished call experience, the greeting should reflect who the client is calling – whether a general business number, department, team, or individual – and when the customer can expect the call to be returned.
Hello, this is (name). I am sorry I can’t come to the phone right now. Leave your name, number, and a short message after the beep. Oh and please do wait by the phone till I call you back. Bye.
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Best Top 10 Answering Machine Messages. 10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean.
greetings examples of good voicemail greeting when i return your voice mail is currently closed for all. Every business aims for client satisfaction; however, busy schedules can often healthcare business professionals with air time must attend and every single client need. Sample Answering Machine Scripts Seven Best Voicemail Greetings for Your.
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My labour was filed for a software engineer position (java, udb, etc) 3 years ago. Over that time, my role has changed to a project manager. Infact I don't do any coding anymore. If I invoke AC21 after 180 days, can I switch to a Project Manager position?
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A voicemail greeting is a simple message that plays before callers leave a message. It may play either when you don’t answer or if your phone is off. A professional greeting may encourage people to leave messages, which in turn makes it easier for you to get back in touch. Keeping that communication open and efficient may lead to better business relationships. It also helps you put forth a professional image for your business.
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“Yo, this is Leon. If you’re calling about scoring some catnip — oops, I mean ‘you know what,’ meow twice in your message. If you’re calling about ear-cleaning services, meow once. Or maybe meow once for ‘you know what’ and twice for ear cleaning. I don’t remember. Maybe don’t leave a message and we’ll psychically connect. OK? Cool.”
Like, right before you recorded this greeting you realized how dumb it would be to leave instructions. But you still wanted me to know how dumb it would be for you to leave instructions, so you wasted 20 seconds of my time telling me that you already knew I would know how to do it.
Whether you're in a long-distance relationship or just missing your guy, let him know how you feel with a sweet voicemail. If you can't be with your guy, but want to let him know you're thinking of him, a cute voicemail is the perfect solution.
what to say on your personal voicemail greeting
As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone, the telephone is next to an answering machine. You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine. You hear a beep.
Hello, this is Rip van Winkle. I'm not awake to take your call right now. Please leave your message at the sound of the snore.
You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is "The Twilight Phone."
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“I am trapped in this box, and I can’t get out. Help me please!!!! Just speak into this box, when it makes that weird sound, and I will be able to get out and call you back!”
9. The Skill Demonstrator. You may decide to demonstrate your skills through the voicemail message you leave your prospects. This works perfectly if you deal with selling your skills and expertise to your customers.
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The days of “Let’s talk soon!” have evolved into, if not a text, then “I’ll leave you a message!” FREE Five-Day Challenge LEARN THE 25 HABITS OF A REMARKABLY CLASSY PERSON. Count Me In!
Various messages for using with my cellphone voicemail. - I certify that I am over 13 years old. - I agree to the privacy policy and the terms of usage. Membership is free, secure and easy.
10. Hello, you’ve reached [your company]. We’re sorry to have missed your call. Please leave a brief message including your name, number, and reason for calling and a member of our team will get back to you within one business day.
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6. Hey, sorry I missed you. There may be one of the reasons why I can’t get to the phone: a) I’m with my girl (laugh), b) I am totally wasted and can’t remember how to use a phone, or c) I just don’t wanna talk to YOU.
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Editor's note: This post was originally published in February 2018 and has been updated for comprehensiveness. Try This Effective Prospecting Voicemail Script [Tips Included] Sales | 12 min read Get it now Get it now Download for Later Popular Features Free Meeting Scheduler App Social Media Tools Email Tracking Software Sales Email Automation Ads Software Email Marketing Software Lead Management Software Pipeline Management Tools Sales Email Templates Help Desk Software Free Online Form Builder Free Chatbot Builder Free Live Chat Software Marketing Analytics Free Landing Page Builder Free Tools Website Grader Make My Persona Email Signature Generator Blog Ideas Generator Invoice Template Generator Marketing Plan Generator Free Business Templates Industry Benchmark Data Software Comparisons Library Company About Us Careers Management Team Board of Directors Investor Relations Blog Contact Us Customers Customer Support Join a Local User Group Partners All Partner Programs Solutions Partner Program App Partner Program HubSpot for Startups Affiliate Program Facebook Instagram Youtube Twitter Linkedin Medium Hello Select your address Account & Lists Returns & Orders Best Sellers Prime Customer Service New Releases Today's Deals Pharmacy Books Fashion Registry Toys & Games Kindle Books Gift Cards Amazon Home Sell Computers Automotive Coupons Home Improvement Shopper Toolkit Video Games Smart Home Find a Gift Beauty & Personal Care Health & Household Amazon Basics Pet Supplies TV & Video Handmade Baby Disability Customer Support Amazon Music Unlimited Amazon Music HD Amazon Music Prime Free Streaming Music Buy Music Open Web Player Settings Funny Voicemail Greetings, Answering Machine Messages & Pa Announcements Your Amazon Music account is currently associated with a different marketplace. To enjoy Prime Music, go to Your Music Library and transfer your account to Amazon.com (US). After Hours You're Hosed 0:7 $0.99 After Hours You're out of Luck 0:11 $0.99 All Lines Busy Wait Your Turn 0:6 $0.99 Answered It's Not Your Turn 0:6 $0.99 Attention....Never Mind 0:6 $0.99 Attention....We Forgot 0:7 $0.99 Automated Answer If We Had More Money 0:8 $0.99 Baggage Search and Good Stuff Taken 0:9 $0.99 Biz Hours Whenever 0:5 $0.99 Call Back When You Know What You're Talking About 0:4 $0.99 Complaint Dept Hang Up 0:4 $0.99 Emergency Talking Faster 0:4 $0.99 Exit Stop Pushing and Shoving 0:4 $0.99 For Legal Evidence Call Will Be Recorded 0:7 $0.99 Have Your Questions Ready or Get It Together 0:5 $0.99 Have Your Questions Ready 0:4 $0.99 In Emergency Kiss Your Ass Goodbye 0:6 $0.99 Last One Please Turn out Lights 0:3 $0.99 Leave Tray Tables Down 0:7 $0.99 People Cutting in Line Thrown Out 0:4 $0.99 Pick up You Guns and Exit 0:3 $0.99 Please Keep Asking for Help 0:4 $0.99 Please Never Call Again 0:3 $0.99 Please Welcome a Real Loser 0:5 $0.99 Reached Number in Error Pay Attention.Wav 0:4 $0.99 Service Is Just a Word 0:6 $0.99 Someone May Be on the Line Shortly 0:7 $0.99 Sorry Lights on No One Home 0:4 $0.99 Speak With Someone Who Knows 0:5 $0.99 To Reach Compulsive Disorder Dept 0:4 $0.99 Un-Attended Bag....Take It 0:5 $0.99 Un-Attended Bags Taken and Put on Ebay 0:10 $0.99 Un-Attended Children Given Caffiene and Puppy 0:8 $0.99 Water Landing Seat Cushion 0:8 $0.99 We Will Get to Your Call When We Feel Like It 0:6 $0.99 You Will Never Be Connected to a Live Person 0:6 $0.99 Your Call Is Important Not 0:7 $0.99 Sold by Amazon.com Services LLC. Additional taxes may apply. By placing your order, you agree to our Terms of Use.
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Thanks for calling Dial-An-Idiot. Right now, all our idiots are busy. After the tone, leave your name and number, and we'll have an idiot return your call as soon as possible.
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18. Hello, you’ve reached the voicemail box for [employee name] at [company name]. [Employee first name] has moved onto a different position, but our new [job title, employee name] will be happy to assist you. Please call [number, extension] or leave a message here and a representative will get back to you.
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As greeting messages should reflect your mood and your personality, they must be recorded with utmost care and with the right choice of words. Here are a few examples which you can make use of while recording your own greeting messages.
Read the SMS.Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that…. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam.
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To improve a a business voicemail greeting, keep these eight rules at the forefront of the creative process: Avoid turning customers off with overused and impersonal phrases like “your call is very important to us..." Avoid leaving customers unsure by not immediately telling them the business, department, and/or person they’ve reached. Avoid leaving customers confused with too many details and complications; just keep it simple. Avoid messages longer than 25 seconds. Do apologize for being unavailable at the moment. Do invite the caller to leave a message. Do tell the caller when they can expect a return call and actually follow through within that timeframe. Do tell the caller about any applicable alternative options of contact and information- website, live chat, email, social media, or emergency numbers. Voicemail Greetings 101
Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm SO depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, God how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.
C'mon. You can do it. Just a little one. That's the way. Just a little beep, just a little one. C'mon. Good boy. Here we go. Like this: beeeeep. Just a little one, beeeeeeeeeep. C'mon. There you go!
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Help CFC Save the World In the top 200 of over 44,000 teams. All you need is a computer. Now folding with the help of Blazer6. taper, May 26, 2003 "Oh my God, the ringing, THE RINGING! Please, STOP THE RINGING!!! AAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!!!!" *beep* WillJ, May 26, 2003 Joined: Feb 8, 2002 Messages: 10,278 Location: Atlanta, former CSA Irish Caesar, May 28, 2003 Joined: Feb 16, 2003 Messages: 3,098 Location: -4 GMT I don't feel like answering the phone right now. If you leave a message maybe I'll get back to you...or maybe I won't. If you don't hear from me in 72 hours, I decided not to return your call. YNCS, May 28, 2003 Log in with Facebook Your name or email address: Do you already have an account? No, create an account now. Yes, my password is: Home Forums > COLOSSEUM > Humor & Jokes > Search Forums Recent Posts Account Upgrades Civ6 Civ5 Civ4 Civ3 Civ2 Civ1 Modiki Members Notable Members Current Visitors Recent Activity New Profile Posts Search titles only Posted by Member: Newer Than: Search this thread only Search this forum only Display results as threads Style Civilization VI Language English (US) Contact Us Help Home Top RSS Here are some funny answering machine messages to download and record to your answering machine. If you are not Redirected Please Click Here to Continue to the Answering Machine Messages
This type of voicemail greeting is usually started something like “You have reached the voicemail of..” It is a great greeting for not only business
A relatively unprofessional one — like mine, for instance — does the opposite: It encourages prospects, recruiters, and potential connections to run in the other direction.
A professional voicemail greeting is slightly different than a business greeting, as certain professionals may require the caller to leave specific information. For instance, a professional therapist voicemail greeting would specifically ask for contact information from the caller, as well as leave their own personal contact information in case the caller is having problems. Hello, thank you for calling the office of Dr. Harold Tweed. I can’t come to the phone right now; please leave your name, number, and message at the tone. If this is an emergency, please contact either my personal assistant at 555-555-2345 or myself at 555-555-3234 and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for your call. Include your name/business Ask for their contact information and message Provide them with alternate phone numbers if this is a crisis Extend gratitude for their call Funny Voicemail Greeting
4 Funny Voice Mail To jazz up your voice mail and put a bit of theater into it, you can take the quote from Samuel; "The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded." Say this in a powerful booming tone, and then add on in your regular voice "I can't come to the phone right now but leave a message and I'll get back to you."
Dad left this on my voicemail today. Who is known to stay outside all day, all night, all week, all month, and all year? (sigh......, who, dad?) Patty O'Furniture. Bwah ha ha ha! (good one, dad.....)
5. Happy Holidays from GetVoIP! Sorry we couldn’t find one of the interns to answer your call, we’re all tied up trying to finish off this supply of Eggnog before the year ends. Feel free to check out our website, or even leave a message. We’ll be returning to the office after the New Year on January 2nd, and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.
Hi, this is Tom, the sales manager at Orlando Powersports. I’m either busy assisting customers, getting ready for our End of Season Sale, featuring deep discounts on our huge selection of power sports equipment and gear or if I’m really lucky, I’m out riding the latest CAN-AM DS 250! Leave a message, and I will call you back as soon as possible. Thanks for calling!
Maralee McKee is dedicated to helping you become the person you most want to be and to live a confident, kind, and generous life! She is a contemporary etiquette, manners, and people skill expert and the founder of the prestigious Etiquette School of America. She's in the top one percent of experts in her field, and her etiquette skills blog is the most read in the United States. Maralee presents business etiquette seminars to corporations large and small and coaches individuals one-on-one virtually and in-person. Her book on how moms can teach their children to become the best version of themselves (Harvest House Publishing) earned the prestigious Mom’s Choice Gold Award for excellence in parenting books.
Voicemail is a wondrous invention that can truly define ‘godsend’. It gives you the option of keeping annoying people at bay, without being outright rude. It only seems fair then, to return the favor by spicing up your voicemail greeting. Voicemail Ideas • I’m not at home today, and I …
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So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk.
Ok, I just watched (and took very careful notes during) your seller initial call script video. I have all the answers I need except for one… What is the recorded message that the seller listens/responds to when s/he calls the number on your postcard? Is it an interactive automated service, or just a “please provide the following information and someone will contact you shortly” kind of thing? I'm referring to your Vumber number greeting/interaction with the seller during their first ever reach out to you via your postcard. Am I making sense? I have pneumonia so I'm a bit hazy… 😛
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Now, we’ve covered the topic a bit at length in the past, with sure-fire ways to engage callers with your business voicemail greeting. Still a solid basis for constructing your new voicemail greeting, we’ll cover a quick recap of the most important aspects of a voicemail greeting for those that are unfamiliar.
The History of the Answering Machine » bit.ly/39sgo7a 88 Creative Answering Machine Messages » bit.ly/3whSrZI 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages » bit.ly/3ub17iY
23. "Happy holidays! [I'm, the team at X company is] away until [date]. We'll make sure to call you back straight away when we return. If your request is urgent, email [emergency contact] at [email address]. Thanks, and have a wonderful day."
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I know you're angry because I never answer your phone.So, to fix this, I think you guys should give me a birthday present: cell phone..(Make a little noise in the background ).Hi, you are already at your friend's house.
45. Hi, this is [X department] at [X company]. We’re not able to take your call right now, but if you leave a quick message after the tone, our next available representative will call you back shortly.
Helloo? Hello? Well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return.
Some of these quotes are designed to accommodate every feeling an individual has. Give him a reason to smile and think about you with a fun message he won't forget.A cute, thoughtful voicemail adds excitement to your boyfriend's day.
Not funny at all. More obnoxious then anything! I just hate those voice mails asking ME to call them back because they have “questions”. Got one yesterday… Bob, this is __________ I have a few questions, please call me at XXX_XXX_XXXX… and then when you call it’s a flipping company that knows NOTHING about what I do or even that they called me in the first place. Don’t know about you but I’m rather protective of my phone time. And yes, they could use a dose of Art & Sam’s seminar… Hey one in Phoenix in a couple weeks
“Hey, this is [your name] over at [XYZ company]. So anyway I’m about to give in my resignation right now. Please don’t call here again. Just kidding!
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Don’t leave customers and colleagues on edge. If you say you’re going to call them back, follow up. If you tend to fall behind in this area, encourage them to email you or reach out in another way. Better yet, learn how to forward voicemail to email so you can access the message anywhere.
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The female voicemail greeting experts know how to pace their delivery and produce the perfect sound for your application.
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Typically, a good business voicemail greeting should comprise the following elements: A warm greeting. Your name, the name of your company and department name. Make an apology for being unable to take the call. Ask the caller to leave a message. Let the caller know when to expect a return call.
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