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You have reached the , Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number and target or list of targets and we’ll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice day.

Whether you’re out for the day or are off for the week, the first rule of an out of office voicemail greeting is: let callers know when you’ll be back! You’ll save them the frustration of continuing to call and yourself the hassle of listening to redundant voicemails. It’s also a good idea to set the expectation of whether you are answering messages while you’re away, and who they can reach for assistance in your absence.
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Currently there are no lifeforms available to take your call but at the pre-arranged audio signal, please feel free to leave any verbal communication you feel is necessary.
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Mick’s storyful messages are keeping customers happy even though their calls were not answered. So happy in fact, that those that hear the voicemail are sharing them with others and laughing along with the owner when he calls them back.
“Ummm… uh, listen carefully. I, I have only 10 seconds to explain to you how to leave a message on one of these machines. Now… now, the first step is, is the most important step there is. What, what you’ve gotta do is ummm… and, and, and, and, uh… well.”

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Reality is usually better than anything I could make up. Here is a voice message received by one of my readers. (I bleeped out the sales rep’s phone number).

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Good professional voicemail greeting examples. A business named Lorem Ipsum, which sells widgets, wants to leave a brief message that confirms for the listener that they have called the right business. The message would also prompt the caller to provide information needed to return the call, and throws in a nice quick promotional note.

Translation: If you sound unsure, then your current clients, prospects, and partners won’t be so sure about you either.
“I am trapped in this box, and I can’t get out. Help me please!!!! Just speak into this box, when it makes that weird sound, and I will be able to get out and call you back!”
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7. The Friendly Script. If you want to get a callback that will make your day, you need to be enthusiastic and sound exciting. The prospect might be enchanted to listen to your voicemail till the end.

Category: Phone Number, Mobile Phone, Home Phone, Education, Computer, Mail Service Show more Filter Type All Time Past 24 Hours Past Week Past month New Contact Listing› Att› Imessage› Directv› Pittsburgh Post Gazette› Asurion› Straight Talk› Licorice International› Hotspot› Cctv Pipe Inspection Services Lojac› Simple Mobile› Defense Health Agency› Homeserve› Service Merchandise› Sprint Corporation› Ohio Department Of Job And Family Services› Lgi Homes› Lg Electronics› Rons Service Tire CenterBrowse All Listing » Frequently Asked QuestionsHow do I create funny voicemail messages?
answering machine. noun. an electronic device that is attached to a telephone and that automatically answers callers with a prerecorded message and records their messages for later playback. Nearby words. Origin of answering machine. Also called telephone answering machine.
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Helloo? Hello? Well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return.

Pricing Features All Features Mobile App Call Menu Options Local & Toll-Free Business Numbers Business Call Routing Client Notes CRM Port My Business Number What is a Virtual Phone System? What is a Virtual Phone Number? Reviews About Us Blog FAQ Log In What is a Professional Voicemail Greeting? Why is Having a Great Business Voicemail Greeting Important? How to Create Your Own Professional Business Voicemail Greeting Record Your Own Text-To Speech Technology Hire Professional Voice-Over Talent Top 13 Professional Voicemail Greetings – Examples, Scripts, Samples, Audio Recordings Company Voicemail Greetings Department Voicemail Greetings Personal Business Voicemail Greetings Small Business Resources for Business & Personal Growth
Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages – Phone Losers Of America. Our Pre Recorded Message Packages Are Available In All Common Audio Formats Mp3 Wave Alaw Ulaw 16Bit 18Bit. Download Voicemail Greetings For Free Browse Most Popular Greetings And Add A Greeting To Your Youmail Visual Voicemail.
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Currently there are no lifeforms available to take your call but at the pre-arranged audio signal, please feel free to leave any verbal communication you feel is necessary.

3. "Hey, this is [your name]. If you're calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I'll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s].
Have a positive attitude while recording your voicemail greeting — it will carry through in your voice. If you find it difficult to convey positivity over a phone system, try smiling while you’re recording. (We promise, you will hear a difference.)
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Along the way, voice mail usage also suffered significant drops. People not only stopped leaving voice mail messages, they stopped listening to voice mail messages received. In 2012 Vonage, a voice over Internet Protocol (IP) carrier, tracked an 8 percent drop in voice mails left for users. Even worse, Vonage saw a 14 percent drop in people even bothering to listen to voice mail messages others left for them. The company has not released updated stats, but I’d assume the decline continues five years later.

"Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies." - Quark, DS9 S2E1, "The Homecoming" CivCube, May 23, 2003 Joined: Nov 26, 2002 Messages: 9,643 Location: Kansas puglover, May 23, 2003 Joined: Oct 1, 2001 Messages: 2,272 Location: North Crackalacken "Seinfeld" - Georges answering machines message anyone? .:KNAS:., May 23, 2003 Joined: Sep 12, 2002 Messages: 2,031 Location: Monterrey, Mexico you guys are killing me, I feel like I want to buy an answering machin ASAP! Zcylen, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2003 Messages: 603 Gender: Male Location: northwest Montana Any of you read Doug Hofstadter's Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid? If so, you'll understand the message I actually put on my office voice mailbox: "Your message has just been sent to Tumbolia, the land of dead hiccups and burnt-out light bulbs. Have a nice day." Siegmund, May 23, 2003 Joined: Aug 9, 2002 Messages: 9,471 Location: USA Hello, you have reached the [enter your name here] residence. Please leave your message after the beep. [About a minute passes, no beep. The person decides to leave their message. Hopefully a particularly long one.] *beep* Ohhhhhh, yes. Oh, yeah! Uh huh, ohhhhhh yeah... Ooohhh... Oh my God, is that thing recording? *beep* If you are trying to reach [your phone number here], please stop. I don't like people calling me. I don't like people at all, really. If you have any will to survive, please do not decide to call me back. Thank you. [Only if you don't live in a German-speaking place]: STOPPEN SIE, MICH, SIE ANZURUFEN DUMME LAUNE! ICH MAG SIE NICHT! GEHEN SIE ZUR HÖLLE! OH- UND VERLASSEN IHRE ANZEIGE NACH DEM SIGNALTON. *beep* WillJ, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2002 Messages: 149 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada K-Man, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jun 1, 2002 Messages: 1,148 Location: Québec Hello? Yes, yes, okay, okay, yes, wait a minute... bip!
A woman calls to report a beheaded squirrel behind a building on Christmas day. She also mentions that a couple kids have got sick due to the headless squirrel. I can just picture this scene.
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From farts to turds and from banter to hits below the belt — BFFs, besties, best friends and bae are on the chopping block here. You talk. I'm sorry I didn't answer your call. I want to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Zedge have thousands of ringtones for your cell phone. He could record the following: Hi! This is John Smith. Some of these quotes are designed to accommodate every feeling an individual has. Give him a reason to smile and think about you with a fun message he won't forget.
“Leave a message! Dit dit dit dit dit, dut dut. Dit dit dit dit dit, dut dut… After the beep.” !

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2. Straight To The Point Voicemail Greetings. (Insert name) is either away from their desk or on another call. Leave your name, number, and a brief message and (insert name) will return your call within (insert timeframe.)

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From farts to turds and from banter to hits below the belt — BFFs, besties, best friends and bae are on the chopping block here. You talk. I'm sorry I didn't answer your call. I want to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Zedge have thousands of ringtones for your cell phone. He could record the following: Hi! This is John Smith. Some of these quotes are designed to accommodate every feeling an individual has. Give him a reason to smile and think about you with a fun message he won't forget.
Funny voicemail messages are an excellent alternative for people that are looking for that unique touch for something that seems really mundane. If you’re having trouble coming up with your own then you can check out some of the funny voicemail messages below.
The point of a voicemail greeting is to encourage your callers to leave a message. More often than not, and this is becoming more evident every day, people are just hanging up and assuming the receiver will call back. On the other hand, funny voicemail greetings keep people on the phone longer. Given that you have already captured their attention and they have taken the time to listen to your greeting, they are certainly going to leave a message. This will not only remind you to return the call, but it also shows their interest in completing the home improvement project.
“Hi! You have reached [your business]. All of our staff are currently busy helping other callers. We understand how valuable your time is, and rather than keeping you on hold, we will make sure to call you back.Be sure to leave us a detailed message with your name and number. We will return your call within two business hours. Thanks!”

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Computer software have facilitated interaction between us and the computers. What are the different kinds of software? How many are they? Go through these examples of computer software to find…

Here are some proven techniques for how to leave a voicemail message that gives you the best chance of getting a call back:
At OpenPhone, we used Fiverr and definitely recommend this service. It was quick, affordable, and got the job done. For our project, it took over 36 hours of work between submitting the script and getting the final result. The cost was roughly $115 for the final project.
Read Poems Contests Winners Poetry By Topics Read Quotes List of Poets Discussion Forums More Writing Tips Administration Contact Us Sign-In Name : Jayde Status : Regular Member Joined : Dec 1, 2004 Posts : 61 "I'm away, taking over the world with an army of crazed penguins. Leave a message, but it probably won't matter when the whole world has been enslaved by the Penguin Lord and I am elected the Penguin Goddess. Have a nice day." "I'm not here right now, if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone." "I am the cookie monster's secret sidekick, and as the cookie monster's secret sidekick I am required to eat all the cookies. BRB." "I'm an alien from outer space and I'm having sex with your eyeballs and you like it cuz you're smiling." If you have any more add them. I'd love to see what anyone can come up with or find. Reply Name : aaron 1 remo Status : Regular Member Joined : Nov 18, 2005 Posts : 312 ' hello...................hello..................hey who is this?............... hahahahahahaha you were just talking to a machine moron!' That was mine for quite a while untill I started to get worried messages from my nanna 'Aaron?, Aaron what happened? are you all right? did you just get mugged Aaron?!!!' Bless her Name : Italian Stallion Status : Senior Member Joined : Jun 16, 2005 Posts : 8266 "Thank you for calling 911 our offices are closed because everyone is at the donut shop....." "Greetings, this is science officer spock, currently there are no life forms avalable to take your call ...." Name : christina marie Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 8, 2005 Posts : 964 of receiving messages My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you. think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling... and I'll think about returning your call. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back. Name : melly xx Status : Regular Member Joined : May 3, 2005 Posts : 508 Name : HOLLY ARMER Status : Senior Member Joined : Apr 29, 2004 Posts : 2620 Hi, this is ________. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP Name : Void Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 12, 2005 Posts : 835 Name : Amanda Renee Status : Regular Member Joined : Feb 20, 2006 Posts : 214 my friends is as follows... it goes... Hello... and waits a couple seconds and then it says how are you doing today? and then if you reply it says good... then it waits then you ask it a couple ?? if ur like me when i heard it i answered him and well then he goes well hey i guess i better go and i was like what he goes bye and then finally he says glad i got to talk to you on my voice mail talk soon and i will call you back' About Scholarship Entertainment Scholarship About Us Contact Us Privacy Policy Terms and Conditions How Do I Create Funny Voicemail Messages? Join the Community Lakshmi Sandhana Lakshmi Sandhana Some individuals like to create funny voicemail messages for people to hear when they call.
-This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.
Written by Aja Frost @ajavuu

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A good first impression goes a long way, and a voicemail greeting is the first impression to your business. An expertly crafted voicemail script lets your clients know you’re dependable, capable, and confident. An unprofessional voicemail script, on the other hand, can do the exact opposite.

High Voltage 48V 51.2V Solar System Batteries BMS Lithium ion Battery Storage Solar Power Bank Battery Pack Would you like to change your voicemail greetings?Do you need our help?Build a quirky, fun voicemail and share a moment of laughter with your dear before they understand the intent behind you and run to pick you up!Voice mail is not necessarily monotonous or very jazz or trendy.What you want is a balance between the two.Whenever I call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells me who they are.
This is a funny message left on my phone, funny because they called me to tell me I am apparently ... answering-machine automated message phone voice Public Survey Call.wav - mp3 version Public Survey Call.wav - ogg version Public Survey Call.wav - waveform Public Survey Call.wav - spectrogram 15313.6 life telephone answering-machine beep answer-phone home message annoying before-after remix 2 of 117530__fiatknox__The_Great_Machine_Speaks.flac - mp3 version before-after remix 2 of 117530__fiatknox__The_Great_Machine_Speaks.flac - ogg version before-after remix 2 of 117530__fiatknox__The_Great_Machine_Speaks.flac - waveform before-after remix 2 of 117530__fiatknox__The_Great_Machine_Speaks.flac - spectrogram 56319.2 The Great Machine Speaks.mp3 - mp3 version The Great Machine Speaks.mp3 - ogg version The Great Machine Speaks.mp3 - waveform The Great Machine Speaks.mp3 - spectrogram 15181.0 answer echo god-machine voicemail Error Dial Answering Machine - mp3 version Error Dial Answering Machine - ogg version Error Dial Answering Machine - waveform Error Dial Answering Machine - spectrogram 32304.8
Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?
Best Answering Machine Messages The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages. 10 . My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. The Top 10 Best Answering Machine
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You have reached the , Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number and target or list of targets and we’ll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice day.

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In this version, you pretend to realize how dumb it is to leave instructions WHILE you are leaving instructions. Hey everyone, listen to me having an epiphany, and then leave me a message.

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Reality is usually better than anything I could make up. Here is a voice message received by one of my readers. (I bleeped out the sales rep’s phone number).

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7. The Friendly Script. If you want to get a callback that will make your day, you need to be enthusiastic and sound exciting. The prospect might be enchanted to listen to your voicemail till the end.

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Helloo? Hello? Well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return.

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Currently there are no lifeforms available to take your call but at the pre-arranged audio signal, please feel free to leave any verbal communication you feel is necessary.

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Oh, here it is. Hi, thanks for calling. If you need to reach me right away call my personal line as purposefully leave of one numberthat Hi, I am available to the phone right now but I take the calls in order of importance.

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You have reached the , Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number and target or list of targets and we’ll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice day.

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In this version, you pretend to realize how dumb it is to leave instructions WHILE you are leaving instructions. Hey everyone, listen to me having an epiphany, and then leave me a message.

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Reality is usually better than anything I could make up. Here is a voice message received by one of my readers. (I bleeped out the sales rep’s phone number).

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7. The Friendly Script. If you want to get a callback that will make your day, you need to be enthusiastic and sound exciting. The prospect might be enchanted to listen to your voicemail till the end.

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Helloo? Hello? Well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return.

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Currently there are no lifeforms available to take your call but at the pre-arranged audio signal, please feel free to leave any verbal communication you feel is necessary.

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what to say for personal voicemail greeting

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Oh, here it is. Hi, thanks for calling. If you need to reach me right away call my personal line as purposefully leave of one numberthat Hi, I am available to the phone right now but I take the calls in order of importance.

Create an account.

Be Part
Of Our
Story!