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“Mom, Dad… Don’t you think it would be easier to reach me if I had a cellular phone? So how about an early birthday present?”

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If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handi- work, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.Usually what I think is funny most of the timeis when my friends or family, after the beep, say "hello? Hey, how are you? Just wanted to let you know that I'm not here so leave a message! It gets everyone every freakin time because it makes it seem like you answered, but then they realize a few seconds later after they already started talking to you that you didn't. .

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– Hello. You have reached Tim’s office. I cannot answer the phone right now but I will return your call as soon as possible. Please leave a message if it is urgent or you can call my secretary on the extension (number). If this call is regarding a query, you can logon on to our website (website’s name) and leave a message.
I've assembled this list in mid-nineties from the messages that people were emailing around. As far as I know, the author of this list is unknown.

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This article is about the second main type of greeting – the voicemail greeting. All businesses should have professional voicemail greetings at the company level (i.e. your general business number), department level (e.g. customer service), and employee level, where applicable. It’s important that each of these voicemail greetings align with the brand and personality of your company to ensure that every caller has a consistent experience. Let’s dive in!
Here are some proven techniques for how to leave a voicemail message that gives you the best chance of getting a call back:

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My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.

  • funny voicemail transcriptions

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    In the new HBO documentary Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind, Billy Crystal, fellow comedian and decades-long friend of Robin Williams, opens up about his bond with the late comedian, including a series of voicemails that I'm leaving you this message because it's the fastest way for my heart to reach yours. We can't take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and the reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours.

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    The best text-to-speech voices don't sound robotic at all. Do a "text to speech" search in Google to explore your options. Type in your script and presto! You'll get an instant greeting with a natural sounding voice. You can select from a broad spectrum of male & female voices with any local or foreign accent you choose. LinkedPhone offers text-to-speech built right into our software. It's super popular and our users love it!

    Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You guessed it.
    Funny Answering Machine MessagesFunny Answering machine messages, excuses for being away from the phone, and phone pranks! Location: Clean Jokes > Answering machine messages Machine related Answering message 01 Answering message 03 Answering message 05 Answering message 07 Answering message 09 Answering message 11 Answering message 13 Answering message 15 Answering message 17 Answering message 19 Answering message 21 Answering message 23 Answering message 25 Answering message 27 Answering message 29 Answering message 31 Answering message 33 Answering message 35 Answering message 37 Answering message 32 Answering message 34 Answering message 36 Aha! Jokes > Random Answering Machine Messages Instead of text-based answering machine messages, use audio messages! Visit the funny audio division for almost one hundred different audio answering machine messages. Copyright © 2014 Aha! Jokes LLC. Reproduction in part or whole strictly prohibited. Use subject to terms.

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    Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not home. The actor, Jason Alexander, recently customized this answering greeting for a big fan, Kat Dennings. Watch the full segment on Youtube here.

    After all, a professional voicemail recording boosts your credibility, makes you seem more competent, and encourages whoever's listening to it to continue the relationship.
    I like the NLP within the script. I also like how comfortable it is and how much you focus on being local as I am new to wholesaling and plan to focus where I live in person versus virtual.

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    5. Voicemail greetings for holidays. Your customers might need you on the holidays. If you’re a business owner, you know this already. 🙂 Manage customer expectations and let them know how to get assistance.

    Website: https://www.macrynvoicegreetings.com/macryn-voicemail-greetings-sample-scripts/
    10. 1-888-447-5594: Epic speech. This last entry on the prank call numbers list is one that is slightly out of the box. These digits are an Easter Egg line for the ending of the video game God of War.

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I’m sorry, I’ve been trying to break the record for "the most calls missed" if it's a emergency or your dieing or something, please hold on till the record is broken, and I will call you back.

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I’m Sorry, We’re Sorry (They are all very sorry). Reminds me of Brion Gysin (Try track 3, 4, and 5).

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27. Hey, this is [your name], but you should know that already since you called me. I’m obviously not here right now, so I won’t patronize you by telling you what to do after the tone.

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