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Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone …

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Only a handful of voiceover actors could possibly bring this dramatic message to your voicemail. Click here to hear how it sounds with cinematic, adrenaline pumping music in the background. Save the funny voicemail greetings for your home phone, and let us handle your business phone
Our previous post on funny voicemail greetings got so much attention, we thought we’d continue the hilarity with even more of your favorite greetings that you can use. Here’s the latest batch: I have nothing to say to you. So leave a message. “Think fast!” *beep* Hi, you’ve reached _____. .

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Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... don't even think about it!... Don't...!
2. Access the dial pad. You'll need to bring up the Phone app's dial pad, as if you were going to call an actual person. To do this, tap the dial pad icon near the bottom of the screen.

what to say in an out of office voice message

Happy [Monday!] You’ve reached [Jessica on the Business Development Team at LinkedPhone]. I’m presently out of the office [for a meeting until late this afternoon]. Please include your name, number and the reason for your call and I’ll get back to you ASAP. Thank you and have a fantastic day!
If you still have this for a greeting, you might be interested to know that your friends hate you.

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I am not in the office today; I may not be in tomorrow. I may be in to work sooner, if you gave me your car to borrow.

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Transfer a new answering message to your cell phone over the Internet with great sound quality. Find funny phone messages on PhoneMessage.com and transfer them to your cell phone for free.

  • professional funny voicemail

    These are very funny and interesting conversations. I did not know before an answering app or machine can answer so funny.

    Has using headphones made you think about their working? To know how headphones work, read on.
    2. "Hi, you've reached [name] at [company]. If you need a quick response, please shoot me an email at [insert email address] and I'll be in touch by EOD tomorrow.

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    About: Creative Voicemail Messages has free scripts for voicemails ranging from funny voicemail messages to professional voicemail greetings. Voicemail Messages. Creative - Cool and creative voicemails that you use for your cellphone. Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for …

    Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
    I know you're out there. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don’t know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end, I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I'm going to show them a world, without you. A world without rules and controls. Without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there, is a choice I leave to you.

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    Hello, this is the Brown residence. We're in the middle of a family fight right now. Leave your name and number at the beep and whoever wins will call you right back.

    Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time. However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller.
    Being reincarnated as an answering machine is the pits. Keep your karma clean by leaving your name, number, message, and the time that you called.

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    Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can.

    Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
    -Hello. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your call. I’m just waiting for more important people to call. If I hear your message and deem you worthy of the title “important,” I will think about calling you back, but for now. Bye! -Beep-

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Hey, this is ________, and I'm can't come to the phone right now, but don't mind me--You know what to do!

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“You’ve obviously reached this message in error because I don’t want to talk to you or anyone else for that matter. Now go lick your butt or something.” “Hello, My Name is Angie, and I’m a Cat-Huffer” Cats and Bags: 2 Very Important Scientific Experiments The Pros and Cons of My Cats as Health Care Providers

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Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password. Please leave a message.

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-Hey you all, thanks for calling me today. It will be super nice if you would leave me a special and kind message so I’m encouraged to call you back.

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