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IT STARTED OUT just like any normal day for … let’s call him Jimmy* … but little did he know he was destined to witness a group of old ladies beat up a man who had just crashed into them, with pepper spray, an umbrella and a bible!

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We surround ourselves with positive people and influences, and we live life with a strength that’s forged by the conviction of our beliefs, not the strong pull of our society towards the lowest common denominator. .

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This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean.
Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call.

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Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password. Please leave a message.
No49: This is the National Security Emergency Password Notification Network. To initiate destruct sequence, call the CIA with today's password. Today's password is BABY BOOTIES.

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#8 “Hey this is Bryan, sorry that I couldn’t make it to my phone in time or that I’m on the other line. I’ll get back to you when I can. Unless the reason i didn’t pick up was because I was just in an accident or dropped my phone in the toilet. Then you might never hear from me. But trust me, there is a good reason I’m not picking up. Leave a message!”

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Whoopee, a call. I wonder who this could be? No…wait…don’t tell me…Oh yeah. Sorry, you bore me.

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    You have reached the , Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number and target or list of targets and we’ll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice day.

    He is going to all noise and no action. He lost most of his steam in nov elections .... Sorry I could not find answer for this question on any of the threads here. can anyone please answer the question below "Copy of visa page of passport in color " is listed as one of the supporting docs for ead renewal.(in the IV thread on EAD self filing) Do I need to send the copy of visa stamp even if my stamp has expired and I am working on EAD? (my I-797/I-94 expired too). She said most of the attornies/lawyers are asking for extra documentations so that to pre-empt RFEs but she asked me to file with intial evidence that is asked on the instruction form i.e the three items i mentioned above.
    The female voicemail greeting experts know how to pace their delivery and produce the perfect sound for your application.

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    Hello! This is 1-800-PRESLEY. Yes! 1-800-PRESLEY! They say the King died 10 years ago, but we know he's still out there somewhere. So... Leave your name and number and tell us where YOU saw Elvis!

    Shared voicemail and call routing is intended for multiple access and directing calls to one or multiple phones. Mobile apps are also available that allow you to check your messages from your phone. The below infographic outlines the current state and trends of voicemails.
    No45: Hello, this is Jim. Unfortunately I can't answer the phone right now because I've just come back from the Mirror Worlds and I'm still made up of antimatter, so if I were to pick up the phone right now, the resulting energy release would make Hiroshima look like a wet firecracker. So leave a message at the tone and I'll get back to you as soon as my component particles have been restored to their normal charges.

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    I've kidnapped him and am holding him ransom. There is plenty of room for being creative. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Be innocent and coy one time, and more in-your-face with the next voice note. Hey, how are you? Just wanted to let you know that I'm not here so leave a message!

    10. Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll be right with you. You are half-way there.
    3. The Value. Only your mom will call you back for something you want. Everyone else wants to know what it’s worth their time. At Factor 8 we like the term, SWIIFT℠ So, What’s In It for Them?

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    So, I added a, you, uh, your, uh, just a pause or maybe a little chuckle in here or there just to make it sound organic. So right off the top, if we've already spoken about your house and you just need to leave a message, press pound now and leave a message after the tone. So that obviously has a practical use because if sellers call back because that's the only number that they have, maybe the second or third time, I don't want to have to make them endure the entire message before they leave us a message. And that is actually how Vumber works.

    How to Set up Voicemail on iPhone 12 Pro, 12Pro Max, 12Mini,11 Pro, Pro Max, Max, X/ 8 Plus/ 7 Plus/ 6S Plus/ SE/ 5SHow to Change Voicemail on iPhone 12Pro Max, XR, 11(Pro Max), XS Max (Voicemail Greetings Message)How to Save Voicemail Messages on Your iPhone 12 Pro MaxHow to Change or Reset Voicemail Password on iPhone: Verizon, AT&T, Sprint, T-MobileHow to Fix AT&T Visual Voicemail Not Working on iPhone 2021 Does iPhone 13 have cinematic mode? iOS 15 Features Multitasking Feature in iPadOS 15 iOS 15 Supported Devices Must-Have Shortcuts In MacOS Monterey What is iCloud+? Pros & Cons of Private Relay Send Tips? Mail Us [Write For HowToiSolve]: Right Chance to get Rewards in Forum. Apps & Accessories Reviews: Submit us Have you any problems with Your Apple Devices? Submit Your Problems [Get Free Troubleshooting Tips] HIS Disclaimers…As an Amazon Associate, I earn from Qualifying Purchases. Howtoisolve is not subordinate or connected with Apple Inc. copyright (C) 2021 - [Sitemap] All Rights Reserved. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited.
    (Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra") Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Steve: You fool, I know it's... Wait... Matt... What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK... THUD) Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it... Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say? (Fun to leave on a friend's machine when he's away... Sounds of raptuous sex) Hi. Mike can't come to the phone right now because he's having sex. If you leave your name and number, he'll get back with you in juuust a second. (Male groan; female voice) That's it?You're in Big Trouble Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT? (Voice 2) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number. At the sound of the... This is 234-3249, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzeria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a message though. Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye. Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine! Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! (Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.) Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message. (A friend was at a mutual friend's sister's house, and when she went out for beer, he changed her answering machine message. In a loud, deep, gravelly, horror-film voice he recorded) Hi, this is Kathy. I'm not myself right now. If you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you when I'm feeling better.Farewell These words are lovely dark and deep

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Chances are that you have a voicemail. A landline or a cellphone usually comes standard with the option for a personal greeting. Below are some original and humorous recordings of voice messages for your mobile or immobile phone. There are plenty of other funny ideas, but we’ve seen them or heard them before. For instance, the “Hello” and pause effect- the prank is more amusing for the listener because you don’t get to hear them throughout their confusion until after the beep. A rarer one was a philosophical answering machine that I found rather witty:

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Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can. Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO. Bless you, my child, and have a nice day.

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Hey before you leave that message, do you want to know something about me? I love jokes. You want to know something I hate?

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