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Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone …

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We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you around… beep. Hello… pause. Hello… long pause. Who is this? Hey, sorry I missed you. Leave a message. It would be better if you left it to me as a message after the beep.
4. Liam Neeson Threatens and Delights Your Callers. Liam Neeson has been acting for decades but it was his recent role in the hit movie Taken that caught the attention of a younger audience. .

very funny voicemail greetings

1. 911, what’s your emergency? Imagine you saying this when a call comes in. Just don’t let the other person say anything and barge in. It will make the other person laugh out loud.
Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – The Work From Anywhere Business Phone System]. Our office is closed until [Monday, January 25th for the holiday weekend]. If your call is urgent, please contact [Anya at 212-555-1212 or [email protected]]. Otherwise, please leave a message and we’ll get back to you as soon as we return. We value your call. Thank you from everyone at [LinkedPhone].

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My 12 y/o niece put on her cell phone message, "Leave your name and number. If I love you, I'll call you back." Although not earth-shatteringly funny, it was cute the way she said it. In college my roomate was a cop, he told me that the worst things you can say on an answering machine were 1) telling them your name, 2) telling the caller your number, 3) and that you aren't at home. Well, here's what I did... Thats probably good advice for a home phone, but at the same time, I don't think it applies to a cell phone really. I used to have a longer message aimed at keeping people from leaving messages ... but I hate getting voicemails for the most part. One summer I had my little cousin start singing take me out to the ball game, I cut him off after a few lines, but it was just my version of satire against parents who have their kids sing, and it was pretty funny.

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Happy [Monday!] You’ve reached [Jessica on the Business Development Team at LinkedPhone]. I’m presently out of the office [for a meeting until late this afternoon]. Please include your name, number and the reason for your call and I’ll get back to you ASAP. Thank you and have a fantastic day!

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“Ummm… uh, listen carefully. I, I have only 10 seconds to explain to you how to leave a message on one of these machines. Now… now, the first step is, is the most important step there is. What, what you’ve gotta do is ummm… and, and, and, and, uh… well.”

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    You might not be the kind of person who wants customers to go through long voicemails. If that sounds like you, here are a couple of short and sweet voicemail greetings that you can use to get your message across!

    Simply speak into your phone or computer while recording a greeting with your business phone service. If you need to create your own audio file, the voice memo app on your phone should do fine.
    1. 911, what’s your emergency? Imagine you saying this when a call comes in. Just don’t let the other person say anything and barge in. It will make the other person laugh out loud.

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    No47: This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.

    Your business callers may not appreciate these voicemail recordings, but your friends and family will surely get a kick out of them. I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone.
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    Read the SMS.Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that…. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam.

    Hello, this is the Brown residence. We're in the middle of a family fight right now. Leave your name and number at the beep and whoever wins will call you right back.
    Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can.

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    While deciding on a greeting remember that while it is important to be friendly, do not try to be cute or overtly sweet. It is not necessary to state the obvious details. It may be a good idea to change your voicemail message as often as possible. Also if you are recording a message for a business organization, it is important to let the caller know how to skip the message that is playing. If it is possible then giving an alternate number where the caller can reach you is always a great idea. Given later in this article are some examples.

    Best Answering Machine Messages The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages. 10 . My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. The Top 10 Best Answering Machine
    Your business callers may not appreciate these voicemail recordings, but your friends and family will surely get a kick out of them. I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone.

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Website: https://www.austincc.edu/offices/telecommunications-services/tutorials-and-reference-guides/sample-voicemail-greetings

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Hello… my name is (your name)’s refrigerator. He/she isn’t home right now to take your call. To leave him/her a message, speak very slowly so I can stick the message with the help of these refrigerator magnets.

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You may think your voicemail message is professional. But when you listen back it could sound rushed or shaky. Listen to it regularly to see if changes are needed.

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