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Hi this is ____'s machine. My name is (pause) well that's not important. (Pause) Ya know it gets very lonely being here all day. (Pause) maybe you could stay and talk. (Pause) please talk to me after the beep, please talk to me after the beep ........... BEEP!!!!!!!!!!!

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Now that the importance of having current and applicable voicemail greetings has been established, the big question of how remains, right? How does one create this stellar voicemail selection and improve their business voicemail greeting?
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You need to use Garageband on the mac to turn the mp3 into an m4r file (ringtone) then sync it to your phone from your mac, if you don't own Garageband a friend may be able to convert the file for you. If you could send me the file say via Dropbox and attach it to this thread I could convert and send it back to you. More Less. Jun 12, 2016 8:49 PM.
No21: Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it...

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Download your FREE Phorest Two-Pager Cheat Sheet for Voicemail & Hold The Line greeting!
6. Visual Voicemail Plus. Visual Voicemail Plus is a reliable voicemail app offering great customisation options for its users to manage their messages visually.

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Website: https://saraharpminter.org/answer/funny-answering-machine-messages-audio-files

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  • short funny voicemail greetings examples

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    You may think your voicemail message is professional. But when you listen back it could sound rushed or shaky. Listen to it regularly to see if changes are needed.
    "Hello, this is John. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise - open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) "OK, what would you like me to tell me?" If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."

  • best voicemail app for android 2019

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    Composing these types of greetings are fun, but they aren’t applicable for some situations. You may make a funny voicemail greeting for your own personal voicemail box. However, it’s not appropriate for professional or business phones. Here are some humorous examples for you: You have reached [mention your name].

  • best voicemail scripts for business

    23. Hello, thank you for calling [business name]. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message, and a member of our team will return your call within 24 hours.

    Mar 14, 2021 - Explore Eric Alexander's board "cell phone humor", followed by 3292 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about humor, bones funny, phone humor.
    Inspirational Quotes. Leave your caller with something meaningful to think about. Mark Twain . The classic adage "when greatness calls" can be used as a funny greeting."When greatness calls, I may not be able to pick up my phone immediately, so leave a message."

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    Last night, my mother told me to check my email, and I knew from the poorly disguised grin that I had another gimmicky “greeting card” waiting for me. The cards tackle the human psyche as if we are creatures of binary emotional existence: vulgar humor or molasses-sweet. Read More Podcast: How do eGreeting Cards Increase Customer Engagement? November 11, 2014 Andy Begnoche' customer experience, podcast, greetings

    I have a confession to make: I haven’t recorded a new voicemail greeting since 2014. In the past four years, I (hopefully) have become more articulate, poised, and self-assured. But hear my voicemail recording, and you’d think I was still new to the work world, a little unsure of myself — and probably not an authority. Obviously I need toupdate it. And if you haven’t changed your voicemail greeting in over a year, you’re likely in the same boat. After all, a professional voicemail recording boosts your credibility, makes you seem more competent, and encourages whoever’s listening to it to continue the relationship. A relatively unprofessional one — like mine, for instance — does the opposite: It encourages prospects, recruiters, and potential connections to run in the other direction. With that in mind, I’ve written 18 unique voicemail greetings for every situation. Pick your favorite, practice a few times, then record your new voicemail.
    Voicemails don’t necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you should be looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever you call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells you a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, you’ve got to put a little bit of “you” when it comes to voicemail.

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Thinking of having some fun with your callers while you are away? Here are some funny answering machine greetings and messages. Take a look.

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4. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.

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1. 911, what’s your emergency? Imagine you saying this when a call comes in. Just don’t let the other person say anything and barge in. It will make the other person laugh out loud.

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Like, right before you recorded this greeting you realized how dumb it would be to leave instructions. But you still wanted me to know how dumb it would be for you to leave instructions, so you wasted 20 seconds of my time telling me that you already knew I would know how to do it.

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