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Make it funny! Now not everyone is the funniest comedian, and this time to practice a stand-up routine. No one wants to reach your voicemail just to be greeted with 15 knock-knock jokes. But you can easily add some humor, lighten up the tone a bit and try to leave people with a smile. Of course, keep it light – no dark humor here.

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Jimmy Stewart, born James Maitland Stewart, has a voice that is unmistakable and 100% unique to him. One of Mr. Stewart’s most identifiable trademarks, the slow and stammering way he delivered lines, brings forward a hilarious way to tell your callers to leave a message.
Hello! This is 1-800-PRESLEY — Yes! 1-800-PRESLEY! They say the King died 10 years ago, but we know he’s still out there somewhere. So . . . leave your name and number and tell us where *YOU* saw Elvis! .

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Hi, this is Ed. I'm secretly replacing Jane and Bob with dark sparkling Folger's Crystals. Leave your name, number, and a brief message and they'll call you back when they're nice and percolated. See if you can tell the difference.
“Hi there. This is (name) speaking. I’m home right now, and in a moment, I’ll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number, and I’ll be thinking about it…”

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He’s hit him in the head with the bible. She picked the bible up and lifted it way over her head…and she’s still beating the hell out of this guy. She picked this bible up and raised it above her head and beamed the guy.
Other jokes and witty lines can be recorded for your callers that may bewilder a silence after the tone, or you might get to hear laughs that started before the beep, or you might throw someone off into the old routine of “What?…Hello?…Are you–Is this?…Am I leaving a message?” But you want fresh ideas. You can borrow mine to entertain your callers. Let me know their reactions. This one sounds like you are a corporation that has several operators who are busy with a large volume of calls. Includes elevator muzak and sound effects. Welcome. Due to a large volume of calls, all of our operators are busy. Please hold for the next available operator. (Music) Our operators are still busy. Please stay on the line while your call is being transferred to the Voice recording database. (connection) Infomercial that sells your messages in a rushed and enthusiastic manner. Borrowed the “complicated payment” from Mitch Hedburg.

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The History of the Answering Machine » bit.ly/39sgo7a 88 Creative Answering Machine Messages » bit.ly/3whSrZI 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages » bit.ly/3ub17iY

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Thanks for calling Dial-An-Idiot. Right now, all our idiots are busy. After the tone, leave your name and number, and we'll have an idiot return your call as soon as possible.

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    Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone.

    The voicemail greeting is an important element of your business’ phone system because it is often the first impression of your business that customers will have. Creating a really good voicemail greeting is a unique opportunity that you can use to impress customers by putting your best face on, while increasing the chances that you’ll retain their business in those times when you can’t
    Our users have volunteered their best greetings that…. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. We guarantee that Ninja Number will help grow your business. January 25, So leave a message.

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    Caller ID and missed call alerts now serve as their own form of call messaging. People can see who called. They assume they need to contact you. It’s much faster to scroll through a list of incoming callers than to listen to recorded messages. Some people even use audio-to-text transcription options in their cars or from their mobile phones that turn voice messages into notes.

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    Typically, a good business voicemail greeting should comprise the following elements: A warm greeting. Your name, the name of your company and department name. Make an apology for being unable to take the call. Ask the caller to leave a message. Let the caller know when to expect a return call.

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    Never mind the fact that what she described was the content of LITERALLY EVERY VOICE MAIL IN HISTORY. Name, hello, please call back. Not really a boatload of charm on display. To fail this test, a guy would have to leave a message that said: 'No greeting. This is man. I don't remember you. End communication. — Aziz Ansari Only good questions deserve good answers. — Oscar Wilde Killing time is not murder, it is suicide. — Charles A. Beard But after being fired at once or twice, The ear becomes more Irish, and less nice. — Robert Byron My worst days are still pretty good days. That's something I might lose in the moment sometimes, but I have a pretty good grasp of it. — Andy Roddick You don't get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour. — Jim Rohn There is much to discover that's not on the back cover! — E.A. Bucchianeri I certainly think we have an emergency in media, and we gotta fix it. — Phil Donahue Famous Authors Anthony Jay Sayings Christine Grey Sayings Diana Fitts Sayings Dr. David Vik Sayings H.O. Charles Sayings Hattie Carnegie Sayings Larry Wilmore Sayings Nikolay Karamzin Sayings Phil Beadle Sayings Vernon L. Smith Sayings Popular Topics Feeling Alone Tumblr Sayings Those Who Serve Our Country Sayings Firefly Lane Book Sayings Funny Asdf Sayings Funny Going Away Movie Sayings Negative Feedbacks Sayings Cuba Gooding Jr Sayings Anarchism's Sayings Broiling Sayings Strange Finnish Sayings Copyright © 2021 Great Sayings. All Rights Reserved. - Sitemap
    Oh, here it is. Hi, thanks for calling. If you need to reach me right away call my personal line as purposefully leave of one numberthat Hi, I am available to the phone right now but I take the calls in order of importance.

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    By using this form you agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website. * Westworld Theme Song Stranger Things Theme Song Narcos Ringtone Wonder Woman Ringtone Avengers Infinity War Ringtone Peaky Blinders Ringtone Jumanji Drums Ringtone Thor Ragnarok Ringtone Animal Ringtones (100) Christian Ringtones (97) Funny Ringtones (371) Message Tones (286) Movie Ringtones (463) Music Ringtones (3,145) Classical Music Ringtones (130) Country Music Ringtones (37) Instrumental Ringtones (1,710) Rock Ringtones (118) Theme Songs (956) National Anthem (68) Old Phone Ringtones (96) Scary Ringtones (130) SFX (279) Siren Sounds (80) Star Wars Ringtones (68) Video Game Ringtones (222) Download from Firefox on Desktop computer: right-click the link to the Download MP3 > Save Link As... to download the file before loading it. Harry Potter Ringtone Bottle Opener Ringtone Android La Casa De Papel Theme Song Omg Flute Ringtone The Good The Bad And The Ugly Ringtone Hero Ringtone iPhone Ding Sound Imperial March Ringtone

    Hello, this is Rip van Winkle. I'm not awake to take your call right now. Please leave your message at the sound of the snore.
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Here are some of the examples. ! Best Voicemail Greetings ! These voicemail greeting ideas will be your help to inform the callers that you are not available, you are doing something or you are out of the office. ! 1. Hi! You have reached voicemail of (your name), (job title). I …

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You have entered into a glorious pool of sound. You are traveling through time with a weightless companion known as music, and as Liquid Parallax as your tour guide, prepare to be exhilarated. Amusing / Fun-Sites / Humor Funny Answering Machine Voice Messages by Joey on Dec 9, 2007 • 3:27 pm 3 Comments

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Dit dit dit dit dit, dut dut. Dit dit dit dit dit, dut dut… After the beep. One of Mr.

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Other jokes and witty lines can be recorded for your callers that may bewilder a silence after the tone, or you might get to hear laughs that started before the beep, or you might throw someone off into the old routine of “What?…Hello?…Are you–Is this?…Am I leaving a message?” But you want fresh ideas. You can borrow mine to entertain your callers. Let me know their reactions. This one sounds like you are a corporation that has several operators who are busy with a large volume of calls. Includes elevator muzak and sound effects. Welcome. Due to a large volume of calls, all of our operators are busy. Please hold for the next available operator. (Music) Our operators are still busy. Please stay on the line while your call is being transferred to the Voice recording database. (connection) Infomercial that sells your messages in a rushed and enthusiastic manner. Borrowed the “complicated payment” from Mitch Hedburg.

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