I personally don't like voicemail. I don't check messages because my phone identifies missed calls. I know who these people are and why they are calling. I don't want to spend (waste)time hearing nothing of importance. I have left messages saying
Seems a bit long but should definitely screen out those not truly interested and there’s always the option to press #. I’m going to split test this with my next mailing.
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“Yo, this is Leon. If you’re calling about scoring some catnip — oops, I mean ‘you know what,’ meow twice in your message. If you’re calling about ear-cleaning services, meow once. Or maybe meow once for ‘you know what’ and twice for ear cleaning. I don’t remember. Maybe don’t leave a message and we’ll psychically connect. OK? Cool.”
The actor, Jason Alexander, recently customized this answering greeting for a big fan, Kat Dennings. After learning of the famous actresses use of his 90’s greeting from Seinfeld on her voicemail, Jason recorded one for her on The Late Late Show with James Corden. Watch the full segment on Youtube here.
A phone call to your business is often the first encounter your customers and prospects have with your company. If no one is available to take the call, having the best professional voicemail greetings possible is important to leave a great first impression and to ensure that business opportunities don’t slip by.
I’m home right now . . . I’m just screening my calls. So just start talking and if you’re someone I want to speak to I’ll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?
Leave me a message and wait by your phone till I can call you back. Hey, it’s me. I am home, but really trying to avoid someone I don’t like. So if you’ve left me a message and I haven’t called you back, then it’s probably you. Hi there! (pause) I am (your name)’s answering machine. (Your name) is …
Just when we think things can’t get any more brutal, Jimmy tells of how the main assailant – the Godmother if you will – begins to unleash her savage beating:
Also, one of my favorite of his sayings is referring to my best friend as suave(Ss-wave) and debonair (De-boner.)
Many professionals in New York take the subway every day to work. More often than not, you have a quiet train ride with no interruptions. Now, let’s say you sit down and this panhandler begins his hilarious rant.
"Originally posted by Katsumoru: And my dad is an astronaut and gave my car a rocket engine.It's not bull****, just too fast to see." "Originally posted by Menace: my dad works for nasa and has a laser detector that reflects the laser back at the cop and makes his gun explode." "Originally posted by ClawHammer: STI's are handed down by god himself, NOTHING is faster then an STI."
"Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies." - Quark, DS9 S2E1, "The Homecoming" CivCube, May 23, 2003 Joined: Nov 26, 2002 Messages: 9,643 Location: Kansas puglover, May 23, 2003 Joined: Oct 1, 2001 Messages: 2,272 Location: North Crackalacken "Seinfeld" - Georges answering machines message anyone? .:KNAS:., May 23, 2003 Joined: Sep 12, 2002 Messages: 2,031 Location: Monterrey, Mexico you guys are killing me, I feel like I want to buy an answering machin ASAP! Zcylen, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2003 Messages: 603 Gender: Male Location: northwest Montana Any of you read Doug Hofstadter's Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid? If so, you'll understand the message I actually put on my office voice mailbox: "Your message has just been sent to Tumbolia, the land of dead hiccups and burnt-out light bulbs. Have a nice day." Siegmund, May 23, 2003 Joined: Aug 9, 2002 Messages: 9,471 Location: USA Hello, you have reached the [enter your name here] residence. Please leave your message after the beep. [About a minute passes, no beep. The person decides to leave their message. Hopefully a particularly long one.] *beep* Ohhhhhh, yes. Oh, yeah! Uh huh, ohhhhhh yeah... Ooohhh... Oh my God, is that thing recording? *beep* If you are trying to reach [your phone number here], please stop. I don't like people calling me. I don't like people at all, really. If you have any will to survive, please do not decide to call me back. Thank you. [Only if you don't live in a German-speaking place]: STOPPEN SIE, MICH, SIE ANZURUFEN DUMME LAUNE! ICH MAG SIE NICHT! GEHEN SIE ZUR HÖLLE! OH- UND VERLASSEN IHRE ANZEIGE NACH DEM SIGNALTON. *beep* WillJ, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2002 Messages: 149 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada K-Man, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jun 1, 2002 Messages: 1,148 Location: Québec Hello? Yes, yes, okay, okay, yes, wait a minute... bip!
Which brings me to—an interesting (and kinda hilarious) question from Tim D. I saw recently in response to one of my “Swipe & Deploy” shares. Choose whichever flavor you like…
As greeting messages should reflect your mood and your personality, they must be recorded with utmost care and with the right choice of words. Here are a few examples which you can make use of while recording your own greeting messages.
Unexpected crises like COVID-19 can occur at any time. Here are a few example business voicemail scripts you can adapt for those unanticipated events. It’s important to incorporate key information that your clients need to know. You should also add a human touch by expressing your goodwill for them and their families.
Answering Machine Wav Sounds. Here you can find some of the funniest free answer machine messages from your favorite cartoon and movie celebrities. Download them to replace your standard answering machine message (leave a message after the tone, etc). Comical messages are a must to impress your friends on either your landline or mobile! 01 - Rap.
1.) A study by AT&T found that five out of every six phone calls go straight to voicemail. Since you’re always more likely than not to get someone’s voicemail, before calling, script out what you want to say. Maybe even practice it out loud once before you dial.