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There’s another one that’s a little woman that looks like mother goose. She’s beating him! She’s beating him! She’s got a huge bag! She’s beating him. She’s got this big bag! It’s huge, it’s about the size of her.

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Thanks for calling Dial-An-Idiot. Right now, all our idiots are busy. After the tone, leave your name and number, and we'll have an idiot return your call as soon as possible.
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My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean.
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5. The Urgency + Mystery Combo. Once you’ve gotten the basics of those last four scripts, you can combine examples to get even more creative.
“Hey there! This is [name] at [XYZ company]. Thank you for calling. I can’t take your call right now but if you leave your name, contact info and reason for calling, I’ll call you back right away. Take care and speak with you soon!”

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Customer Service and Operations at OpenPhone. Founder of SOUL House artist showcase in the GTA. Art is life! Dee Lee 1 year ago Reply

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HA HA HA! That was my mom's answering machine for most of my high school years!! I Loved it! The A is for... one was my boyfriends when he lived in the dorms but thankfully it's normal now! lol did you hear about the lady who was a big Tom Selleck fan ? she taped a scene from magnum which had his answering mahine on in it and used it for her machine. imagine getting Tom Selleck s voice when you called home. I do think it is kind of creepy to hear a dead person s voice because the survirors can t bear to erase the tape. i totally need to change my answering machine msg and im definately gonna use one of those!! lol those cracked me up!!! - would consider changing my message to the hynosis one. hi, i'm not here right now to talk with you. in the meantime, while you wait for my return, you can strip naked and run around in the streets yelling "buga buga buga". it won't make me respond sooner, but there will be some nice folks wearing white coats who will be happy to talk to you. Your name or email address: Do you already have an account? No, create an account now. Yes, my password is: Forums > Leisure and Society > Hobbies, Interests & Entertainment > Clean/Christian Jokes > A Whipp Media Site Contact Us Help Home Terms and Christian Forum Rules Privacy Policy

  • funny voicemail to leave

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    -You have reached the voice mailbox of (your name). If you’re a hot chick/guy, you may leave a message at the tone. If your one of (your name)’s friends, you may also leave a message at the tone. If you’re not hot and not one of (your name)’s friends, call back when you are.
    Funny Examples pre recorded answering machine messages free Voicemail Messages These can be used to play tricks on people on April fools day or for any other reason. Use with discretion. If you don't have a time machine, answeriing leave a message and I'll get back with you in the future.

  • best voicemail voice message

    Keep in mind that your trying to come across as a professional business or brand in Fort Worth. Most of the time you can hire a trusted voiceover guy like Mark right here on this site. If you want to try to make your own business voicemail greeting, or even just one for your own personal phone, here are some tips.

    Hi, this is Stephanie's answering machine. If you're the phone company asking for money, stop bugging her, she'll send it sooner or later. If you're a TV company advertising TVs, she already has a TV with every channel known to man, and several known to monkeys. If you called for any other reasons, please hang up the phone, start screaming, and run to the nearest shoe store. When you get there, ask them for a cheeseburger. (This probably won't help you, but we'll always have something to laugh about when we're bored.)
    Cash Me Outside. Donald Trump - Donate to the Wall. Thank You For Holding. Hillary - Delete My Emails. Pokemon Go.

  • whats a good personal voicemail greeting

    When you decide to upgrade your voicemail message to a more professional option, you choose between writing and recording it yourself and having a professional do the hard work for you. On the surface, voicemail greetings seem simple, but they often go awry. Some people try to use a funny... 5 Examples of Funny Voicemail Greetings and Why You Should Avoid Them March 14, 2012 Juli Durante resources, tips, greetings

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    2.) A gracious phone message is 30-45 seconds when talking to those we don’t know well. As George Washington said (yep, that George Washington), and I’m paraphrasing, “With men of business, be brief.” Be pleasant, and get right to the point. You’ll appear more confident and capable of handling the situation which merited the call.

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    8. Outside Business Hours. What the caller hears when they call your company outside of business hours. Sample Scripts: “Thank you for calling [company name].

    2.) A gracious phone message is 30-45 seconds when talking to those we don’t know well. As George Washington said (yep, that George Washington), and I’m paraphrasing, “With men of business, be brief.” Be pleasant, and get right to the point. You’ll appear more confident and capable of handling the situation which merited the call.
    3. Available Agents Greeting. What callers hear when they are routed to an available agent. Sample Scripts: “Please hold while you are connected to the next available agent.”

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“Thank you for calling [company/person’s name]. We are currently unavailable, but if you leave your name, phone number, and message, we will get back to you as soon as possible.”

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To create a greater sense of authority, and that you are somebody important, list the name of a person and company who you've worked with before, especially if that person and company is a direct competitor of the person you are calling. Nothing grabs the interest of the person you are calling faster than hearing the name of their main competitor.

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Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not home. The actor, Jason Alexander, recently customized this answering greeting for a big fan, Kat Dennings. Watch the full segment on Youtube here.

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