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In your greeting, get to the point, and keep it concise. A Little Humor Goes a Long Way. If your greeting displays a lighthearted warmth, that is great as it puts a personal spin on your business and lends personality to your brand. But make sure that your humor is professional and appropriate.

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Yes, I agree. It’s sad. But writing is a solitary activity, and I’m more of a people person. Even if the other person isn’t on the other end of the phone, it’s still nice to have someone to chat with. : )
Useless Facts [140+ Facts You Can Impress Your Friends]89 Church Bulletin Bloopers (to Make You Smile)Things to Ponder [66 hilarious things to ponder about!]21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) MessagesIf Microsoft Built Cars36 Stuff To Ponder [They are all weird and hilarious]17 Weird Library Reference Questions12 completely obvious and useless quotesCursed McDonald’s Fries CosplayEmployees must stop crying before returning to work .

fun professional voicemail greetings

Hi, this is Stephanie's answering machine. If you're the phone company asking for money, stop bugging her, she'll send it sooner or later. If you're a TV company advertising TVs, she already has a TV with every channel known to man, and several known to monkeys. If you called for any other reasons, please hang up the phone, start screaming, and run to the nearest shoe store. When you get there, ask them for a cheeseburger. (This probably won't help you, but we'll always have something to laugh about when we're bored.)
A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future....

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Apr 2, 2021 - Explore Lizzie Arcia's board "Funny voicemail greetings" on Pinterest. See more ideas about funny voicemail greetings, voicemail greeting, voicemail.
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funny voicemail greetings for telemarketers

Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can.

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So, some of the embedded commands that are in here, I made them purple but are also in all caps. Just to make sure I remember to emphasize it a little bit as I'm talking, so just to give you an idea, Mr. Seller, here's how I make it easy and convenient when you sell your house to me.

  • how to leave a funny voicemail message

    The right way to leave your phone number is to start saying your phone number with your area code and then take a 2-3 second pause while the person listening to your voicemail message gets a pen and paper. Then, continue with the next 3 digits, make another 2 second pause, and then say the last 4 digits. Then, slowly repeat your phone number again.

    Please dial the number you are calling. You are calling the number you have dialed. I’m sorry, you have 40 cents. Please deposit more money.
    According to Gartner Research, more than two-thirds of companies compete for business today primarily based on customer experience – up from only one-third back in 2010. Knowing this, it should not surprise you that customer-centric companies are 60% more profitable than companies that are not.

  • example business voicemail greetings

    In sales, immediate communication with your prospects and current customers is important. Being available to answer questions or further negotiate a deal allows your clients to feel secure and more apt to purchase from you. But what if you can’t answer the phone when they call? Make sure you have a voicemail system set up so your clients have the opportunity to leave you a message.

    While many businesses can use this standard voicemail greeting, not everyone’s business wants to be the same as the others. If you’re looking for a more unique approach, here are four sample voicemail scripts to try:
    Like, right before you recorded this greeting you realized how dumb it would be to leave instructions. But you still wanted me to know how dumb it would be for you to leave instructions, so you wasted 20 seconds of my time telling me that you already knew I would know how to do it.

  • creative business voicemail greetings

    21. "Hello, you've reached [your name, the office of X company]. The team is currently out of the office, but we'll be back on [date] stuffed with good food and eager to speak with you. Leave your name, number, and — if you're so inclined — your favorite [holiday dish, Thanksgiving tradition, etc.]"

    4. Funny Voicemail Greetings. Hi, you’ve reached [your name] at [X company]. We are busy trying to save the world by [what your company does best]. If you want to learn more about how we do it, please leave us your name and phone number, and we will get back to you as soon as our mission is complete— which should be fairly soon.
    9. This is Dan Cassidy’s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I’ve doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.

  • personal voicemail greeting messages

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    No18: I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.
    Hi. You have reached [Business Name]. Our offices are currently closed for the holiday season. We shall return on January 2, 2020, working office hours from 9 am to 5 pm, Monday thru Friday, closed Saturday and Sunday. Until then, please leave a short message and number, or email address, and we’ll get back to you shortly. Thank you for calling.

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I love the thought process and NLP language put into the script. Very smart & clever!

funny voicemail transcriptions

Who is this?! How did you get this number?! If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. But you can tell me all of that in the message you leave me. So, haha funny story, my phone and I are playing hide and seek…. Hey before you leave that message, do you want to know something about me? I love jokes. You want to know something I hate? Wanna hear a joke? Knock, knock! Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital.

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This is Chris. This is his refrigerator. Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now.

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No30: I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine? Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe YOU don't really exist. One way to find out is to leave a message, and if it's reality, I will call you back.

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