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5. Voicemail greetings for holidays. Your customers might need you on the holidays. If you’re a business owner, you know this already. 🙂 Manage customer expectations and let them know how to get assistance.

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I bet you’re not anything close to a “babbling idiot” when leaving a voicemail, but I understand, and until I put the following practices into everyday use, I too felt like I wasn’t showcasing my best self when leaving messages.
my friend had a really good one, he sang; when i was younger i was born, 'eric said when i was younger i was born, my names eric, and i wrote it, he sang it, it was funny at the time. Related Posts Which golf club is designed to hit the ball with the highest launch angle? September 23, 2021 thanh Which product was originally marketed as an esteemed brain tonic & intellectual beverage? 5 best headphones that don’t leak sound Best Headphones for Snowboarding The 10 best color laser printers | Wireless | All-in-one Top 6 Fastest 3D Printers in 2021 Best gaming laptop for Warzone Remember Me Forgot your password? Forgot your username? HomeTexts & Test Literary SeriesScientific SeriesTechnical SeriesG1-G2-H SeriesBEPC LevelFirst CycleTeacher's Corner Professional Test SamplesPedagogy & DidacticsEnglish Syllabus - Form 1English Syllabus - Form 2English Syllabus - Form 3English Syllabus - Form 4Listening ActivitiesSpeaking ActivitiesReading ActivitiesWriting ActivitiesEFL Resources GrammarEnglish IdiomsWashington FilesLighter CornerMiscellaneous You are here: Home / EFL Resources / Lighter Corner / general / Funny Answering Machine Messages Print Email Details Hits: 20974 Article Index Funny Answering Machine Messages Page 2 Last page All Pages .

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Seconds later say “HAHA, that was a fake beep created by my mouth. I fooled you good!” A is for A, B is for Beer, C is for C, D is for Drunk. Call me back in 48 hours when I’m R for Recovered! A is for apple, B is for beer and that may be why I’m not here. Leave a message. Alright listen, I’m on one line with my girlfriend and her best friend on the other. Leave a message and if you promise to not tell either of them that I’m a player, I’ll call you back. Back in MY DAY we didn’t use answering machines. We used jumbo sized devices to take messages for us. Those we called “Answering Machines” and I just realized.. I sound like an idiot! Bob is currently in the shower. He’s there an hour per day. I wonder what the heck he does in that time. Oh well, probably plays with himself. Help me.. HELP ME!! My wife wants me in bed. PLEASE CALL 911!!!! HURRY!!! AHHHHH!!! Hi this is Bob’s answering machine and I will need a few things from you. #1 is your full name including middle name. #2 is your address including postal code. #3 is your credit card number with the 3 digit security code on the back. There’s a porn site I want to join and I don’t want to use my moms information. Hi you have reached Bob and I’m not interested in having my grass cut, buying new windows or installing new doors. Hi you’ve reached Bob. If you want to leave a message press 1. If you want to leave a message about how sexy I am, press 2. If you have the wrong number, press 9. As you already can tell, the number pressing doesn’t do anything. I did all this just to feel.. cool.. Hi, I am Bob’s answering machine and he’s pissing me off. Everyday he changes his messages and I’m sick of all the button pressing he does. If you come over, can you please take me? I need a new owner who doesn’t push buttons! Hi, I understand how annoying long messages can be. Why do people always waste so much time talking about crap? Well I’m with you on this one. I can’t stand people who leave long messages talking about nothing useful. Why can’t they just get to the point? All they have to say is “Hey I’m not here cause I’m doing important stuff. Leave a message!” Anyways I kept this message short. Leave one after the beep. Hi, I’m in the process of getting married. Why can’t the priest operate as quick as a microwave? Less than 5 minutes or your money back! Hi, I’m not interested in answering your call right now but my voicemail is. Leave one! Hi, if you’re a telemarketer give me your number and I’ll call you back. What, you don’t want me to call you back? Now you know how I feel! Hi, my name is the answering machine and I record messages in your very own authentic voice. Would you like to increase the size of your penis? I sell those too! Hi, this is Bob’s voicemail and he’s on vacation. He’s in the Caribbean partying with all the tourists. If you like you can rob his place and I won’t say a word! Hi, you’ve reached the pizza delivery guy and I’m trying to make a delivery but am stuck waiting for the train to go by for the 10th time. This customer gets me every time! I had the phone ringing in my hand but was too lazy to answer it. Leave a message. If you are a male, keep your voice and say you are a female. Hi, this is Bob’s girlfriend. I drove him in debt and took his phone. Leave a message and if you sound rich & sexy, you’ll hear back! If you’re calling for Bob, press 1. If you are calling for Greg, press 2. Hey I have some news for you, there’s no Greg at this number. HAHA I lied to you! You got fooled pretty good! I’m pretty drunk & unstable. I think my hands are vibrating. How am I going to hold my next drink without spilling it?? PLEASE TELL ME!! I’m probably too lazy to answer. Leave a message and I’ll call back. If you don’t hear from me, then it’s cause I don’t like you! Keep your original voice Hi, I’m Katie and.. Who did I say I was? Oh man, I gotta keep off the Viagra! Make sound effects with your mouth. Yo Yo Yo.. This is Bob who’s here to make the save. You want to talk to me but I will be charging a fee. Leave a message so I can make enough for a massage! Oh no.. You’re calling.. Someone.. please pull my plug!!! Hello.. anyone there?? NOOOOOO… Oh wicked, I finally got an answering machine. YAY! Now how do you work this thing? Let’s see.. To record message, press the REC button. Alright, where the heck is the REC button? Someone else says out loud Bob you moron, it’s right here and you already pressed it! Then you say Ahh crap! Sorry I don’t answer the phone or check my messages but if you are calling to donate me money, leave a message and I’ll call you back within seconds. Sorry I missed your call. I’m probably running away from the wife. She’s in one of those moods.. AGAIN! This is Bob and I just picked up the best answering machine in the world. The recordings are in high quality. Leave a message now so I can listen to it in 5.1 surround sound! Yo, this is Bob coming to you from the rave, never knowing when to behave. I can rhyme within time and you should leave one before I win a ton! If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone. Funny Joker : I love funny jokes which is probably why I own this very funny jokes website :-) The jokes here are NOT work friendly, you've been warned. Recent Jokes Money Jokes Monster Jokes Time Jokes Bus Jokes Sheep Jokes Cow Jokes Camping Jokes Burger Jokes Weather Puns Weather Jokes Cannibal Jokes Baby Jokes Dad Jokes Grand National Jokes 69 Jokes Accounting Jokes Funny Things to Say at a Drive Thru Understanding Marketing Jokes Sperm Jokes Knock Knock Jokes Free Sex Jokes Funny Bumper Stickers Love at First Sight Joke Computer Jokes Magna Carta Joke
24. Hello, you’ve reached [business name]. Every call is important to us, so please leave a brief message that includes your name and phone number so a member of our customer success team can call you back as quickly as possible.

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To set up voice mail, tap the Phone icon, tap the Voicemail icon and then "Greeting.". There are two options available: Default and Custom. If voice mail hasn't been set up previously on your phone, Default is selected, which means people will hear your wireless carrier's generic voice mail greeting when they call you.
Join 100k readers and get exclusive VoIP industry headlines delivered to your inbox. Customer Service vs Customer Support: Differences and Best Practices How to Deal With Difficult Customers: Actionable Tips for Call Center Agents & Managers 8 Actionable Ways to Reduce Hold Times

funny greetings for retirement

Now, here's where the embedded commands begin. I don't know if you've ever heard of Neurolinguistic Programming, NLP. I'm no Ninja at it, but I've learned a little bit about it through the years and if you can embed commands that aren't direct commands, not explicit, I'm commanding you to do this, but a subtle statement of a thing that embeds as a command to your subconscious mind, it can have an influencing effect on the other person.

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Michael has over 30 years of executive call center and answering service experience. He is a successful business owner and lead generation expert and shares tips to help other entrepreneurs build and grow their business through leads generation and lead capture solutions. His mission is to share carefully guarded marketing tips that will help small-medium business compete on a smaller budget. Your email address will not be published. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email.

  • funny voicemail greetings for your phone

    Hi this is ____'s machine. My name is (pause) well that's not important. (Pause) Ya know it gets very lonely being here all day. (Pause) maybe you could stay and talk. (Pause) please talk to me after the beep, please talk to me after the beep ........... BEEP!!!!!!!!!!!

    Thanks for all the great advice you share on the Manners Mentor blog! Here is my situation. I hope you can help. Sometimes I’m good at leaving a voicemail that’s to the point, but most of the time I feel like I’m a babbling idiot. I never know how much information to leave. How much is too much? How much isn’t enough, especially in a professional setting? I would love to know your thoughts on this. Best wishes for a wonderful week!
    AboutPressCopyrightContact usCreatorsAdvertiseDevelopersTermsPrivacyPolicy & SafetyHow YouTube worksTest new features Remember Me? FAQ Social Groups Calendar Photo Albums FAQ Social Groups Calendar Mark Forums Read Toyota 4Runner Forum - Largest 4Runner Forum > Toyota 4Runner Forum > Off Topic > Very very funny voicemail Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes 03-07-2005, 11:56 PM #1 Reply With Quote Satman View Public Profile Find More Posts by Satman 03-08-2005, 12:03 AM #2 Reply With Quote krosno3 View Public Profile Find More Posts by krosno3 03-23-2005, 10:00 AM #3 That was great!!!! Too bad he didn't have a video to go along with it.....Thanks for sharing..... Reply With Quote CruiseDuck View Public Profile Find More Posts by CruiseDuck 03-23-2005, 12:08 PM #4 Man...I'd love to have a beer with that guy...what a crackup....ROTFLOL:jester: Expat View Public Profile Find More Posts by Expat 03-23-2005, 04:47 PM #5 265/65R18 LT BFG All Terrains, ICON Stage 1, SpiderTraxx, WeatherTech Liners, Demello Hybrid Sliders Kenwood DNX-890HD. Boaz View Public Profile Find More Posts by Boaz 03-23-2005, 04:48 PM #6 Reply With Quote 5 : Excellent 4 : Good 3 : Average 2 : Bad 1 : Terrible Similar Threads Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post Funny story fightman80 3rd gen T4Rs 22 10-11-2010 01:28 PM doyouknowwhatihate.com - funny stories bobbyavidity Off Topic 2 08-17-2009 12:23 AM Funny Toyota truck commercials Sidney Classic T4Rs 3 02-01-2008 02:24 AM Funny Old Lady! Thai Off Topic 1 03-09-2006 01:29 AM » Popular Tags 3rd 4runner 4th 5th area back bar battery black brake bumper car control cover door engine find fluid front gen good iphone issue i�m kit lift light lights limited miles mount oem oil part parts plate power pro rack rear replaced road roof running rust sale set shocks side skid springs sr5 start steering stock suspension switch system time tire tires toyota trail trd truck vehicle wheel wheels work wtb » Follow Us!!! Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2021 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.

  • funny voicemail

    “Hi, you know who you called; leave a message, maybe they’ll call you back. Then again, maybe they won’t. That’s how life is. Point is, you’ve done what you can. Have a nice day.”

    If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handi- work, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.Usually what I think is funny most of the timeis when my friends or family, after the beep, say "hello? Hey, how are you? Just wanted to let you know that I'm not here so leave a message! It gets everyone every freakin time because it makes it seem like you answered, but then they realize a few seconds later after they already started talking to you that you didn't.
    You have reached xxx-xxxx. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in “as-is” condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don’t return your call, it means the machine did not work.

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    Hi, this is Ed. I'm secretly replacing Jane and Bob with dark sparkling Folger's Crystals. Leave your name, number, and a brief message and they'll call you back when they're nice and percolated. See if you can tell the difference.

    If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership.
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    This guy calls to report a Water Buffalo that is stuck in a hole on Friday morning. This was odd as we seem to get most of our water buffalo calls over the weekend.

    "Hello. No one's home and the answering machine isn't working. This is the refrigerator. Please leave your message with me and I'll stick it to myself with this magnet. Thank you." MacRumors attracts a broad audience of both consumers and professionals interested in the latest technologies and products. We also boast an active community focused on purchasing decisions and technical aspects of the iPhone, iPod, iPad, and Mac platforms.
    Talk to the phone, the face ain't home, please leave a message, after the tone. BEEP!

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It’s one thing to read a Morgan Freeman voicemail greeting script and quite another to listen to it. Click here to experience this voicemail message on Youtube.

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This article is about the second main type of greeting – the voicemail greeting. All businesses should have professional voicemail greetings at the company level (i.e. your general business number), department level (e.g. customer service), and employee level, where applicable. It’s important that each of these voicemail greetings align with the brand and personality of your company to ensure that every caller has a consistent experience. Let’s dive in!

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I bet you’re not anything close to a “babbling idiot” when leaving a voicemail, but I understand, and until I put the following practices into everyday use, I too felt like I wasn’t showcasing my best self when leaving messages.

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21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break FREEAnsweringMachineMessages. FREE. Answering. Machine. Messages. Below is a list of various Answering Machine Messages and messages you can use on your voice mail system. 6thSenseDetectiveAgency.wav AdamSandlerPotSmokers.mp3 Africain.mp3 Afterlife.wav AliceCooper.wav

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