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Oh lord…is it you…again? Well, if you must, leave a name and number after the beep. I’ll try to return the call, if I can stand it, that is.

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As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone... The telephone is next to an answering machine... You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine... You hear a beep...
No7: You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work. .

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We’re keeping it simple with this one. Just a few basic elements to help you get started. As long as you know who your audience is, the message you wish to convey, and the information you need from the caller, the rest should fall into place quite nicely. Let’s face it, a voicemail greeting for a lumber company will probably be different than that of a psychologist’s office. One greeting is aimed at securing potential customers, and the other is geared towards appointments, more or less. Once you are certain who your caller is, the better your voicemail. Center on your audience, first and foremost. Knowing what to relate ensures that your caller will leave the right message. For instance, if you’re a retail store, you would include your hours of operations, and perhaps any specials that you’re running. If you are a therapist’s office, then you’d need to include an alternate number in case a patient is having an issue and requires immediate help. Again, this will vary depending on the business. Here, a therapist would definitely request the caller leave their contact information. However, a retail store chain might not request that. There are also complex voicemail systems such as those used by mobile phone services, which ask you to press a certain number on your phone, where you are asked to leave your account information. Again, as you can see, it all boils down to the demographics of your callers, and what you need from them to conduct the best business possible. Depending on the situation, your caller might be in a good mood or not. In either case, they’ll probably be eagerly awaiting your call. So, it stands to reason that you only promise them a call back if you can deliver. In other words, if you’re a small shop and you’ve decided to close due to a much-needed sabbatical, then don’t leave a voicemail greeting where you promise them to call right back. However, if you have an active customer service staff, then you can promise to return their call within the same day.
Website: https://cellphones.lovetoknow.com/cell-phone-guides-how-tos/great-quotes-leave-voicemail

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Many of these sites offer to write your voicemail script for you, but you’re welcome to write your own. Whatever you decide, there are many options to suit your needs.

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The first call is from a man that looked in the yellow pages under the pest control category and decided that we looked like the right people to call to report that 3 men were throwing a dead goat into a dumpster.

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Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy.

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    Marketing Messages (617) 527-3023 [email protected] Page 6 The application then asks the patient if he/she has less than 20 days of supplies for medical items used by diabetics - such as masks, filters, tubing and test strips - and gives him/her the ability to re-order.

    Zombies doing whatever zombies do when they are feeling exultant and joyous...about brains. eerie spooky horror dreamlike Halloween uneasy strange distant ambient haunted abandoned - mp3 version abandoned - ogg version abandoned - waveform abandoned - spectrogram 59521.1
    A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future….

  • best voicemail scripts for business

    This is name. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. When I get back, and can listen to what you say, I will call you back but on a less hectic day! Help me please!!!! Just speak into this box, when it makes that weird sound, and I will be able to get out and call you back!

    Funny voicemail greetings are just that. These types of greetings have no rules whatsoever. They’re just for funsies, so make those you care for the laugh. Most of the time, they are personal, but certain businesses can use them as well. Perhaps you operate a theatrical costume company that specializes in clown memorabilia, or perhaps you run a business that sells pranks, such as plastic puppy poo, and whoopee cushions.
    Hi, you have reached Angela, Senior Recruitment Specialist. If you are calling to inquire about the status of your application, you can access that information by logging into your account on our online portal, where you applied. Due to the high volume of applications we receive, it is not possible to respond directly to all applicants, only to those whose candidacy is being pursued. For additional information on our recruitment process and what you can expect, please review the FAQ page on our website. If you need immediate assistance, please call back and dial extension 6 for the Human Resources receptionist, or you can leave a message, and I will return your call. Thank you.

  • what to say on your personal voicemail greeting

    Christian Ringtones Funny Ringtones Message Tones Movie Ringtones Music Ringtones Classical Music Ringtones Country Music Ringtones Instrumental Ringtones Rock Ringtones Theme Songs Scary Ringtones SFX Old Phone Ringtones

    1. Hi! You have reached voicemail of (your name), (job title). I am currently away from my desk. Please leave your complete name, contact number and short message after beep and I will be sure to get back to you the time I am available. 2. Good morning. You have reached (company name or office name) of (name).
    And to that, I would like to give you a list of messages. They are perfect alternatives when you want to add some uniqueness to your voicemail.

  • best professional voicemail greetings

    Creating funny voicemail messages that are fun for your callers to listen to can be quite entertaining for you too. Instead of leaving a standard, boring voicemail greeting in place, you can use a little creativity that makes callers chuckle or laugh out loud. An easy way to come up with ideas is to do a play on popular TV shows, parody a government agency, or give voice to a machine that has come to life and is expressing its unique personality. A private voicemail box enables a person to receive telephone messages when the phone cannot be answered.

    -So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.
    9. This is Dan Cassidy’s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I’ve doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.

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Don't Go Crazy. By Michele Meleen Counselor. Funny msg ideas for friend. This is not a voice mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. From farts to turds and from banter to hits below the belt — BFFs, besties, best friends and bae are on the chopping block here.

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Reassuring the caller that they contacted the correct number or reached the person they intended helps reduce the number of hang-ups and wasted messages you’ll receive. Here are a few notes on how to leave the best greeting possible, along with some voicemail message examples you can use in your own company!

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