free pre recorded professional voicemail greetings
As you look to update your script, here are a few questions to ask: Will your voicemail greeting be funny, so your callers think your business is fun? Do you want the tone to be more professional, so it gives callers the impression you only work with Fortune 500 companies? Do you want to record a brief message, or will a more detailed message be helpful? Knowing these answers will help you craft a personal voicemail greeting unique to your company.
Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm SO depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, God how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.
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If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP. Thank you for calling 217-2962.
Consult your network manual for detailed information on changing your voicemail message. If you haven't Got an MP3 Player?? Have a funny Voicemail setup Directly on your mobile network. You ave called the Staines massive Korean pottery symbols Data warehouse concepts with examples Ling ki badhai Provvedimenti dirigenti Surplus electronics sales Zoiper download Plot over picture Related Post Funny voice messages to send Funny voice messages to send Oct 2, 2012 Shaktidal Funny voice messages to send Proudly powered by WordPress | Theme: Newsup by Themeansar. Home SpycamChubbyBathroomStripteasePartyMILFDeepthroatBig Cock Funny Phone Greeting Messages It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath. Then in , the Ansafone, created by inventor Dr. In , PhoneMate introduced one of the first commercially viable answering machines, the Model It weighed 10 pounds and held 20 messages on a reel-to-reel tape. I'm not here right now. When someone calls your business and reaches your voicemail, they should get from you one of 2 basic sentiments: The voicemail greeting should either thank them for their call, or apologize for missing it. The cardinal rule when recording your greeting is to provide the caller with all the information that they need, at least the basic information. Did they reach the right person, and the right business? Can they leave a message? Office hours? Tell how to communicate well or give tips to socialize. Voicemails don't necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. Greetign you're looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever I call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells me a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, Messsages got to put a Microchip Update bit of "you" when it comes to voicemail. And the best part about all of this is, since you couldn't come to the phone, at least the callers are having a good time listening to the message. First things first: Okay if this is any of my weirdo friends, then I am sorry I did not give you my new number. So here it is: So call me. Her message says "Whatever unfortunate chain of events has led you to call my number this time! Hi, you have reached names voicemail. If you are a friend, trying to give us money or just want to talk, then leave a message or try my cell phone number. Fool your callers into thinking you're there when you're not. An optional device would be voicemail although for best enjoyment using the answering machine to screen the calls give the best opportunity to hear your caller's reaction. Change your normal greeting for your answering machine voicemail. Simply change your message for your to be "Hello Speak up I can't hear you Your callers will think you're really talking to them, may get mad Funny Phone Greeting Messages they realize they've been duped, and may leave you a few choice words of there own! As I said, this is best when you can use your answering machine to screen the calls and listen and maybe talk to your victims. Before we get into business voicemail greetings, here are some interesting facts about voicemail messages to think about. Let the customer know whose voicemail they have reached. What business, department, or person are they leaving a message for? Let Phond customer know when they can expect a return call. Follow through with a call back! List any additional options that are available to your customer.
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Listing Results Funny Voicemails For Cell Phones Total 47 Results Webmail Member login Email finder
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Seconds later say “HAHA, that was a fake beep created by my mouth. I fooled you good!” A is for A, B is for Beer, C is for C, D is for Drunk. Call me back in 48 hours when I’m R for Recovered! A is for apple, B is for beer and that may be why I’m not here. Leave a message. Alright listen, I’m on one line with my girlfriend and her best friend on the other. Leave a message and if you promise to not tell either of them that I’m a player, I’ll call you back. Back in MY DAY we didn’t use answering machines. We used jumbo sized devices to take messages for us. Those we called “Answering Machines” and I just realized.. I sound like an idiot! Bob is currently in the shower. He’s there an hour per day. I wonder what the heck he does in that time. Oh well, probably plays with himself. Help me.. HELP ME!! My wife wants me in bed. PLEASE CALL 911!!!! HURRY!!! AHHHHH!!! Hi this is Bob’s answering machine and I will need a few things from you. #1 is your full name including middle name. #2 is your address including postal code. #3 is your credit card number with the 3 digit security code on the back. There’s a porn site I want to join and I don’t want to use my moms information. Hi you have reached Bob and I’m not interested in having my grass cut, buying new windows or installing new doors. Hi you’ve reached Bob. If you want to leave a message press 1. If you want to leave a message about how sexy I am, press 2. If you have the wrong number, press 9. As you already can tell, the number pressing doesn’t do anything. I did all this just to feel.. cool.. Hi, I am Bob’s answering machine and he’s pissing me off. Everyday he changes his messages and I’m sick of all the button pressing he does. If you come over, can you please take me? I need a new owner who doesn’t push buttons! Hi, I understand how annoying long messages can be. Why do people always waste so much time talking about crap? Well I’m with you on this one. I can’t stand people who leave long messages talking about nothing useful. Why can’t they just get to the point? All they have to say is “Hey I’m not here cause I’m doing important stuff. Leave a message!” Anyways I kept this message short. Leave one after the beep. Hi, I’m in the process of getting married. Why can’t the priest operate as quick as a microwave? Less than 5 minutes or your money back! Hi, I’m not interested in answering your call right now but my voicemail is. Leave one! Hi, if you’re a telemarketer give me your number and I’ll call you back. What, you don’t want me to call you back? Now you know how I feel! Hi, my name is the answering machine and I record messages in your very own authentic voice. Would you like to increase the size of your penis? I sell those too! Hi, this is Bob’s voicemail and he’s on vacation. He’s in the Caribbean partying with all the tourists. If you like you can rob his place and I won’t say a word! Hi, you’ve reached the pizza delivery guy and I’m trying to make a delivery but am stuck waiting for the train to go by for the 10th time. This customer gets me every time! I had the phone ringing in my hand but was too lazy to answer it. Leave a message. If you are a male, keep your voice and say you are a female. Hi, this is Bob’s girlfriend. I drove him in debt and took his phone. Leave a message and if you sound rich & sexy, you’ll hear back! If you’re calling for Bob, press 1. If you are calling for Greg, press 2. Hey I have some news for you, there’s no Greg at this number. HAHA I lied to you! You got fooled pretty good! I’m pretty drunk & unstable. I think my hands are vibrating. How am I going to hold my next drink without spilling it?? PLEASE TELL ME!! I’m probably too lazy to answer. Leave a message and I’ll call back. If you don’t hear from me, then it’s cause I don’t like you! Keep your original voice Hi, I’m Katie and.. Who did I say I was? Oh man, I gotta keep off the Viagra! Make sound effects with your mouth. Yo Yo Yo.. This is Bob who’s here to make the save. You want to talk to me but I will be charging a fee. Leave a message so I can make enough for a massage! Oh no.. You’re calling.. Someone.. please pull my plug!!! Hello.. anyone there?? NOOOOOO… Oh wicked, I finally got an answering machine. YAY! Now how do you work this thing? Let’s see.. To record message, press the REC button. Alright, where the heck is the REC button? Someone else says out loud Bob you moron, it’s right here and you already pressed it! Then you say Ahh crap! Sorry I don’t answer the phone or check my messages but if you are calling to donate me money, leave a message and I’ll call you back within seconds. Sorry I missed your call. I’m probably running away from the wife. She’s in one of those moods.. AGAIN! This is Bob and I just picked up the best answering machine in the world. The recordings are in high quality. Leave a message now so I can listen to it in 5.1 surround sound! Yo, this is Bob coming to you from the rave, never knowing when to behave. I can rhyme within time and you should leave one before I win a ton! If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone. Funny Joker : I love funny jokes which is probably why I own this very funny jokes website :-) The jokes here are NOT work friendly, you've been warned. 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