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Hi, you have reached (names) voicemail. If you want money or to sell us something, we a) gave at the office, b) already have it, or c) don’t want it. If you are a …

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If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone.
“Thank you for calling [company/person’s name]. We are currently unavailable, but if you leave your name, phone number, and message, we will get back to you as soon as possible.” .

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I’m Sorry, We’re Sorry (They are all very sorry). Reminds me of Brion Gysin (Try track 3, 4, and 5).
Here is a list of some funny messages and greetings for answering machines. Hello. Say something quickly, I don’t have time! Hi, I am a machine. If you hate talking to me, why have you called? I am, you-know-who. Leave your, you-know-what and you-know-when. Bye bye. I am not at home but my answering machine is. You can talk to my machine for some time. I have no issues.

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Website: http://soundcommunication.holdcom.com/bid/73297/The-Making-of-a-Professional-Cell-Phone-Voicemail-Greeting
5. “GRANDPA! YOU ARE ALIVE!” The Wattpad rated this phrase as the funniest way to answer the phone on its website. Suppose if you get a call from your introvert friend, squeal happily as soon as he says hello.

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5. Hi, this is [your name]. I can’t get to the phone right now, but please leave a message with your name and number, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

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Website: http://soundcommunication.holdcom.com/bid/73297/The-Making-of-a-Professional-Cell-Phone-Voicemail-Greeting

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    Holiday Voicemail Script Sample. Thank you for calling ABC Company. We are currently closed for the holiday. Our normal business hours are 8 am to 8 pm, eastern time, Monday through Friday. Your call is very important to us. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message regarding your …

    A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we’re not here. So leave a message.
    Hi, this is John's answering machine again. He's gone and left me for a sleazy microwave he met at Krazy Eddy's. Life sucks.

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    Download your FREE Phorest Two-Pager Cheat Sheet for Voicemail & Hold The Line greeting!

    41 Funniest Voicemail Greetings in the World. Many years ago, in a time before cell phones (Yes it exists, and I remember it!) I used to get inundated with phone calls to my landline at all times of day and night.
    The most romantic love quotes, mixed in with famous quotes and funny quotes. A collection of romantic love quotes to inspire your romance an... A large collection of famous, beautiful, inspirational love quotes. romantic weekend ideas, romantic gifts, romantic b...

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    Once you finish your voicemail message, you can end on a note of gratitude and express thanks or that you realize the recipient of the message us busy, so you’d appreciate a return call. Whichever way you choose, make certain that the tone of your message is upbeat. A business voicemail greeting sees each call as their chance to engage with their clients or vendors. Hello, you’ve reached the office of Lydecker and Lydecker. We are currently unavailable to answer your call. However, your call is important to us, so please leave your name, phone number or email address, and a brief message and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for your interest in Lydecker and Lydecker Law Offices. Professional tone Provide the caller with specific information Request the caller to leave specific information Extend gratitude for their call Professional Voicemail Greetings
    A general voicemail greeting is what callers will be greeted with if you are unable to answer the phone at work. It is the everyday greeting, used as the default, unless you have set up a temporary greeting, such as an away message while you're on vacation, or a special message during a holiday.

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    Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial?

    Tools and techniques for profitable persuasion beamed directly to your pocket monthly. CategoriesCategories Select Category Brand Image Brand Presence Brand Story Employment Branding Marketing Strategy Tags
    For those with voicemail greetings that get changed about as often as a new president is elected, know that this is doing a serious disservice to the caller-recipient relationship. It signals to callers that the business is anything but an authority, most likely not very detail oriented, and has questionable overall credibility and competency. Those aren’t traits that any business wants to associate itself.

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“Mom, Dad… Don’t you think it would be easier to reach me if I had a cellular phone? So how about an early birthday present?”

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A phone call to your business is often the first encounter your customers and prospects have with your company. If no one is available to take the call, having the best professional voicemail greetings possible is important to leave a great first impression and to ensure that business opportunities don’t slip by.

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Shared voicemail and call routing is intended for multiple access and directing calls to one or multiple phones. Mobile apps are also available that allow you to check your messages from your phone. The below infographic outlines the current state and trends of voicemails.

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