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Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.

Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker. funny voicemail greetings for work A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message. Acces PDF Telephone Answering Machine Messages 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break The telephone answering device is slightly different from the concept of voicemail, given that voicemail represents a centralized and networked . funny voicemail video Tags: Amusing, answering_machine, cellphone, Fun-Sites, Humor, infomercial, landline, muzak, personal_greeting, telephone_rings, voicemail, voicemails, voice_message, voice_messages, voice_recording Previous postFree mp3 Last.fm fix Next postAlbum Review: Mono/Stereo [Westerberg] A formal voicemail greeting is one with a professional tone. It could be for a business or for personal reasons. Formal voicemail greetings are designed to impart a sense of authenticity. They leave the caller with a sense of trust in your abilities, whatever they may be. good personal voicemail greeting Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for your amusement and use. Professional - Voicemail messages that you can use in an office or business setting. Short - Voicemail greetings that are quick and get straight to the point. The general voicemail greeting is used as the default voicemail greeting if you don't set any other greeting type. Occasionally, during events like power outages, even if you've set another greeting, your personalized programming might be wiped out. Or you might simply forget to change the greeting after returning from vacation. funny greetings phone answer Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone. Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible. funny greetings for thanksgiving simple business voicemail greetings how do you leave a personal voicemail greeting how to greet customers on call best voicemail app for android 2018 sample of professional voicemail greetings how to save voice message whatsapp iphone how to record a personal voicemail greeting on iphone personal phone greeting message sample funny greetings for mothers day the best voicemail funny voicemail message really funny voicemail greetings Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone. Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible. This is Chris. This is his refrigerator.Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers:. funny voicemail greetings for your phone The bottom line is that a business’s situation is likely to change often and rapidly, each of which need a unique and applicable voicemail greeting to cover the circumstances and timeline. For example, callers shouldn’t reach a business-as-usual voicemail, and therefore expect a return call within the business day, if the subject they’re calling is out on vacation for two weeks. Such a lack of communication is a recipe to lose that caller’s trust and tarnish the brand’s reputation. Luckily, voicemail recordings are here to help! Surely, you’ve encountered them in the past. A warm, personal greeting, recorded using a real human voice, listing out dial options (“Press 1 for…, Press 2 for…), or simply explaining why the call isn’t available, saying that you can leave a message after the beep! You have reached the , Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number and target or list of targets and we’ll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice day. funny voicemail to leave Voice Spice is a free online voice recorder and message sharing site. You can record a message, morph your voice, then share your it with others via Facebook, Twitter, Gmail and more! Can’t take your call, I'm hiding from the men in white coats. We've been playing hide'n'seek for weeks, and they still haven't found me. Tee Hee! Leave a message? 1. Power up your phone and open the Phone app. Press and hold the power button for your phone to turn it on. Then, once you unlock your main screen, tap the Phone app to launch it. how to record a personal voicemail greeting Business voicemail greetings are likely to vary by company. Consider these specifics to create a professional voicemail greeting that works for your needs. But it appears I’m not alone. Here’s a portion of one reader’s letter; see whether you relate! “First, I am a big fan of the belt and suspender method,” she says. “So, the office would call; if the person is not there, the voice mail message is brief and is followed immediately with an email with all of the details.” best voicemail welcome message 5. Business Answering Service Messages. These business answering messages can be edited to fit any type of business. It is important to anticipate what your callers may want to know even if the callers are not able to get anyone on the phone. No7: You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work. Hello, this is Rip van Winkle. I'm not awake to take your call right now. Please leave your message at the sound of the snore. Be Part Of Our Story! funny voicemail numbers Hey, it's ________. Sorry you can't get through. Leave your name and your number and I'll get back to you. funny greetings for emails Yes, it draws out the curiosity seekers and then it filters them out before you waste your time on the phone with them. So for us it moves the ball forward with a much higher ratio of the right people. Even if we're actually speaking with fewer people by comparison, but how do you do that effectively? Well, good news in my 18 years in the game now I think I've got it down pretty solid. A finely tuned voicemail script you're looking at right here for seller calls. That's part art and part social science. I think it sets the stage for people and filters out tire kickers, sets the ball beautifully for us to then pass it over for a proper conversation. So I want to walk you through my script and I want to walk you through the 24 hour script for absentee owners in this video. funny greetings 50th birthday Listing Results Personal cell phone greetings samples All: 39 Results Convert App Compress Submit Your Post Contact Us Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. [Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.] OK, what would you like me to tell me? Send Message Create an account. I agree to the license terms. Sign Up You already have an account? Login here. funny voicemail greetings in spanish “Ummm… uh, listen carefully. I, I have only 10 seconds to explain to you how to leave a message on one of these machines. Now… now, the first step is, is the most important step there is. What, what you’ve gotta do is ummm… and, and, and, and, uh… well.” Strictly Necessary Cookie should be enabled at all times so that we can save your preferences for cookie settings. Enable or Disable Cookies 5. Check your voicemail inbox. Once you're in your voicemail system, you may have to do things slightly differently than how they're done in this tutorial, depending on your telecom carrier and/or voicemail client. I love it! Every time I hear something like this and realize that there really are terrible sales people out there – doing stuff like this – it gives me huge encouragement. I’m sure I make mistakes, who doesn’t, but wow!!! 7. Could you suggest some voicemail greetings, I’m all out. It would be better if you left it to me as a message after the beep. Register Log In Sounds Forums People Help answering machine 06.flac - mp3 version answering machine 06.flac - ogg version answering machine 06.flac - waveform answering machine 06.flac - spectrogram 11514.5 ! how to greet customers on call what is the best voice message professional voicemail greetings samples Close Project how to call a numbers voicemail 6. "Hi, this is [your name]. I'm either on a call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and I'll get back to you. Thank you. 10. Max Wait Time Reached Message. What the caller hears when they have been waiting in the queue for the maximum amount of time. Sample Scripts: “You have exceeded the waiting limit for this queue. 5. Holiday Voicemail Greetings. Happy [X holiday]! You've reached [your name] at [X company]. I am currently out of the office, but please leave me your name, phone number, and the reason you are calling, and I’ll return your call after the holidays. Friends and colleagues speak to each using first names only. So do people of authority. They do not call each other and leave voicemail messages asking for Mister, Miss, or Mrs. Therefore, when you call a person you want to do business with and you leave a voicemail message, refer to them by their first name only. Don't say mister, miss, or misses. Don't say their last name. Begin your voicemail message by saying only "hi/hello" followed by the person's first name. Or, you can even forget the "hi/hello" and just say the person's first name. That is how you show confidence and authority and separate yourself from weak salespeople. 8. Outside Business Hours. What the caller hears when they call your company outside of business hours. Sample Scripts: “Thank you for calling [company name]. I have no idea if I’ve dialed the right number or if I’m about to leave a message for Kim Jong-il (why wouldn’t Kim Jong-il have a cellphone with a Lancaster County, PA area code?). If I’m killed tonight by snipers from North Korea, this is all your fault. can i make a voice message my ringtone business voicemail greetings with extensions how to greet someone in a conference call Close Project funny voicemail greetings mp3 11. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]’s cell phone. I can’t take your call at the moment, but if you leave a brief message, I’ll get back to you as quickly as possible. what to say on a prank phone call Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible. This is Chris. This is his refrigerator. Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. You can send them funny Good Morning messages to make them smilechuckle, or laugh out loud from deep under the covers. Check out these hilarious messages that your loved ones will surely appreciate. Mothers are natural comedians, so you will have to try a little harder to get that desired reaction from them. It would not be difficult when you know what tickles their funny bones. Hi. If you are a burglar, checking to see if anyone is home, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message. Since you are recording audio, make sure you are in a silent place or a place with minimum background noise. This will help you create a perfect business voicemail greeting clear. Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can. how to save voice message from messages professional personal voicemail greeting script funny greetings for retirement Close Project funny voicemail sounds About the AuthorLenny Zeltser develops products and programs that use security to achieve business results. He is the CISO at Axonius and Faculty Fellow at SANS Institute. Lenny has been leading efforts to establish resilient security practices and solve hard security problems for over two decades. A respected author and practitioner, he has been advancing tradecraft and contributing to the community. His insights build upon real-world experience, a Computer Science degree from the University of Pennsylvania, and an MBA degree from MIT Sloan. I think that's hilarious! Hope that helps! This is not a voicemail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you and I'll think about returning your call. I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. how to answer the phone at work examples Website: https://www.openphone.co/blog/professional-business-voicemail-greetings/ If you are hearing this tape, then I'm not here now. Please leave your name, number, D.O.B, address, social security number, age, height, weight, how many children you have, what sex you are, your mother’s maiden name, and the date and time when you called me. If you are still listening, then whatever you have to say must be very important. Please leave a message after the beep. advice (8) animals (1) cars (1) chain (1) cool (14) cute (13) food (7) funny (219) game (1) gender (1) gross (9) health (6) history (3) hollywood (2) interesting (45) jokes (68) nature (4) office (2) picture (14) sappy (8) science (6) stories (2) stupid (21) travel (7) video (22) warning (7) women (2) Archive April (3) November (4) November (3) March (1) February (1) January (2) December (6) November (2) October (2) September (3) June (2) March (1) January (1) August (5) June (2) May (19) April (6) March (5) February (10) January (11) December (15) November (14) October (17) September (18) August (21) July (30) June (29) May (23) April (31) March (4) If they don’t leave a message, you’ll never know who called. Some people may assume they should just call back later. But if you prefer to get back to them at your leisure, encourage them to leave a message. best voicemail examples phone greeting ideas personal voicemail greeting for work Close Project what is personal voicemail greeting Parodying any government or secret service agency is also a great way to create funny voicemail messages. For instance, you could say, "Thank you for calling the Slovakian Consulate. All our diplomats are out changing lightbulbs, so at the sound of the tone, please leave your details and any international secret you may have for sale." Creating funny voicemail messages that sound like they are from the mafia, the FBI, the CIA, or even the IRS can be a cool way to greet your callers when you are not available. http://www.ezrasvoice.com/ Cell Phone Voicemail Greetings can easily be created using this blueprint. While all Cell Phone Voicemail Greetings will be uniq Hello… pause. Hello… long pause. Who is this? long pause again Is anyone on the line?…long pause and beep sound. Job SeekersSummer JobsSecurityLocal JobsBrowse JobsJob Search and Career AdviceVisit our Community PageContact Us Listing Results Funny Voicemails Ideas 48 Results Phone number Mobile phone Contact us Customer service Can’t take your call, I'm hiding from the men in white coats. We've been playing hide'n'seek for weeks, and they still haven't found me! Tee Hee Hee! Leave a message? funny voicemail greetings soundboard creative business voicemail greetings what should my personal voicemail greeting say Close Project funny voicemail scripts Get your FREE copy of Art's newly-revised, best-selling 190-page book, "How to Place the Successful Sales Call" mailed to you (just help with the shipping and handling). Over 10,000 sold at $29. Hundreds of word-for-word scripting and messaging examples. Claim yours today! Popular Posts Responding to “I’m not interested.” Why I Am a Maui Jim Sunglasses Customer for Life Funniest or Most Embarrassing Phone Experiences 74 How Questions You Can Use Who Should You Invite to Connect on LinkedIn? Primary Menu Home There are very few cases in which our telephone answering service would recommend having an antiquated voicemail answer your incoming calls. A Courteous Communications can recommend these 10 recordings for personal use only. Your business callers may not appreciate these voicemail recordings, but your friends and family will surely get a kick out of them. Website: https://saraharpminter.org/answer/funny-answering-machine-messages-audio-files Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. ...Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. ...Hi. ...Hello! ...A is for academics, B is for beer. ...Hi. ...Hi! ...This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. ...Hello, you are talking to a machine. ... I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I can come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone now, recording this message, but I'm doing this now, while you're listening to it later, except for you I guess it's now, like, when you're listening to it ... now I'm confused ... leave a message and I'll explain later. "SAC Missle Control. Good day Mr. President. We are presently holding at T minus 2 minutes into the first strike countdown. To authorize resumption and launch, merely hang up without leaving a message. On the other hand, if you do not wish to destroy the world, or merely wanted to speak to , leave your message after the beep." example business voicemail greetings how to save voice message from messages voicemail funny greetings Close Project X