If anything big changes- address, phone, etc.- make sure you correct your voicemail early on. Keep It Short; We know, we know. We just gave you all this information and we’re now telling you to ‘keep it short‘. But, a professional voicemail greeting (or any for that matter) shouldn’t go beyond 20-25 seconds.
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Home / Uncategorized / 15 Hilariously Funny Voicemail Ideas – Make Yours Like These
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Hi this is Sonny and Attie's machine. Medicare didn’t send us enough money this month so we are out robbing the liquor store. If this is the police we are just napping.
Ok, I just watched (and took very careful notes during) your seller initial call script video. I have all the answers I need except for one… What is the recorded message that the seller listens/responds to when s/he calls the number on your postcard? Is it an interactive automated service, or just a “please provide the following information and someone will contact you shortly” kind of thing? I'm referring to your Vumber number greeting/interaction with the seller during their first ever reach out to you via your postcard. Am I making sense? I have pneumonia so I'm a bit hazy… 😛
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Keeping such hilarious greetings will not only make you feel good, but your callers will also enjoy listening to them. Would you like to write for us? Well, we're looking for good writers who want to spread the word.
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3. 4 out of 5 people who employ this service have country music as their song of choice while I wait to be connected. It’s as if country music fans got together and said, “if only we could get 15 seconds of our music into people’s ears, they would see how amazing it is. Does anyone have a bright idea of how we could force people to listen to 15 seconds of country music?”
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If anything big changes- address, phone, etc.- make sure you correct your voicemail early on. Keep It Short; We know, we know. We just gave you all this information and we’re now telling you to ‘keep it short‘. But, a professional voicemail greeting (or any for that matter) shouldn’t go beyond 20-25 seconds.
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21. "Hello, you've reached [your name, the office of X company]. The team is currently out of the office, but we'll be back on [date] stuffed with good food and eager to speak with you. Leave your name, number, and — if you're so inclined — your favorite [holiday dish, Thanksgiving tradition, etc.]"
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, mostly on top. I like doing it left to right, very slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
5. Road side cafe; you kill them and we’ll cook them. Leave your order and we’ll get back.
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A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future....
Never mind the fact that what she described was the content of LITERALLY EVERY VOICE MAIL IN HISTORY. Name, hello, please call back. Not really a boatload of charm on display. To fail this test, a guy would have to leave a message that said: 'No greeting. This is man. I don't remember you. End communication. — Aziz Ansari An obscenely long, coarse kermit cock is being dragged across my anguished face." | Privacy Policy | About Us | Contact Us | Sitemap | Famous Quotes & Sayings / Funny Voicemail Quotes List of top 12 famous quotes and sayings about funny voicemail to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs. Top 12 Funny Voicemail Quotes
How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this.
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3. Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.
Just leave a comment below sharing your honest feedback on the motivated seller voicemail script I'm sharing. Whatever you think after hearing my thoughts behind it in the video above. Good, bad, and anywhere in between. You might even have a solid tweak to suggest—I'm open! Alternately, I’m also interested in hearing anything else (another resource or tool) that you’d like us to share in a future “Swipe & Deploy” like this. Do tell.
"Hi. You've reached my voicemail. Please leave your name, number, and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn't be done over text."
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Next, tell him the name of the company you work at. Something along the lines of, "John this is Mark at Pinnacle."
I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.
Rates and Pricing About Us Download the Rate Price PDF Contact Us FREE Voicemail Greeting Scripts Free Voicemail Greeting Scripts Funny Voicemail Greetings Business Voicemail Greetings Mailbox Greetings On-Hold Messages Welcome Messages How do I create a custom voicemail greeting? How do I set a custom voicemail greeting on my Android phone? How do I set a custom voicemail greeting on my iPhone? What is a good business voicemail greeting? Blog Español The right voice custom voicemail narration will welcome your corporate and business customers with a professional sound, and on-hold messages are a pleasure to listen to, set to the right voice and music. Make your brand and image stand out on the phone. The right voice custom voicemail narration will welcome your corporate and business customers with a professional sound, and on-hold messages are a pleasure to listen to, set to the right voice and music. I specialize in Recording Creative voicemail greetings, Business Voicemail trees, Messages On-Hold, Greetings with music. I offer a full Voicemail Narration service.
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As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone, the telephone is next to an answering machine. You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine. You hear a beep.
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Ok, I just watched (and took very careful notes during) your seller initial call script video. I have all the answers I need except for one…
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"Hello, you've reached [name] at [company]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. Leave your name and number, and I'll return your call as soon as I'm free. Thank you."
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Customer experience is today’s business battleground. At a time where it’s common for even the most established businesses to deliver poor service, incompetent support, and just outright bad communication, how do you stand out? As big companies fail in the customer experience department, doors open for small business owners and entrepreneurs to distinguish themselves.
18. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm away from [date] to [date]. If you need help with [X] before then, please contact [name] at [phone number]. Everyone else, please leave your name and number and I'll return your call when I return. Thanks and have a great day."
“Yo, this is Leon. If you’re calling about scoring some catnip — oops, I mean ‘you know what,’ meow twice in your message. If you’re calling about ear-cleaning services, meow once. Or maybe meow once for ‘you know what’ and twice for ear cleaning. I don’t remember. Maybe don’t leave a message and we’ll psychically connect. OK? Cool.”
“Hi! You have reached [your business]. All of our staff are currently busy helping other callers. We understand how valuable your time is, and rather than keeping you on hold, we will make sure to call you back.Be sure to leave us a detailed message with your name and number. We will return your call within two business hours. Thanks!”
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Whether you’re out for the day or are off for the week, the first rule of an out of office voicemail greeting is: let callers know when you’ll be back! You’ll save them the frustration of continuing to call and yourself the hassle of listening to redundant voicemails. It’s also a good idea to set the expectation of whether you are answering messages while you’re away, and who they can reach for assistance in your absence.
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A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future…. A is for academics, B is for beer. So leave a message. After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work?
As greeting messages should reflect your mood and your personality, they must be recorded with utmost care and with the right choice of words. Here are a few examples which you can make use of while recording your own greeting messages.
Company-level calls are usually directed to your general business number. There are occasions when everyone in the office is tied up and unable to pick up calls. It’s important to gather information about the reason for the call so that the right person or team can call them back. These greetings ensure that customers do not feel neglected while also providing assurance that their call will be attended to as soon as possible.
Learn how your comment data is processed. We guarantee that Ninja Number will help grow your business. January 25, So leave a message. Please leave a message after my kid stops awkward moment of silence owwwwwwwwwww that hurt!
4. Hi, thanks for calling GetVoIP. We would love to help you out in anyway we can, but these Holidays are keeping us from getting anything done! We will be returning to the office after the New Year on Jan 2nd, but feel free to head over to our website GetVoIP.com to learn what you can. Happy holidays!
Hello. You have reached Erin Klineman, Marketing Manager for Stone & Associates. I am currently out of the office attending a conference until August 4th. I will be checking messages daily, however, if you need immediate assistance, please contact Marketing Specialist, Michael Kim at extension 240. Otherwise, please leave a message, and I will call you back at my earliest opportunity.
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6. The number you have dialed is powered off. Okay, so I have also said this over the phone numerous times. It just sounds one of the funniest ways to answer the phone.
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Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... don't even think about it!... Don't...!
When you decide to upgrade your voicemail message to a more professional option, you choose between writing and recording it yourself and having a professional do the hard work for you. On the surface, voicemail greetings seem simple, but they often go awry. Some people try to use a funny... 5 Examples of Funny Voicemail Greetings and Why You Should Avoid Them March 14, 2012 Juli Durante resources, tips, greetings
He’s hit him in the head with the bible. She picked the bible up and lifted it way over her head…and she’s still beating the hell out of this guy. She picked this bible up and raised it above her head and beamed the guy.
2. The “I’m Busy But I’ll Call Back” Greeting. Thank you for calling [insert business name], we are unavailable at the moment right now, probably trying to finish your project.
So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk.
3. "Hey, this is [your name]. If you're calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I'll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s].
Once you have your message, you need to actually record it. The exact process varies depending on whether you’re using a cell phone or office phone, but here’s the basic process: Press the voicemail button, or press and hold 1 on most cell phones. Enter your password. Record your message. Listen to the message you just recorded. Follow the prompts to save your message. Following Up on Voicemail Messages
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2. “DUDE! I told you to bury the arms and throw the body in the ocean” This will surely make the person on the other end go bonkers for a second. If you want to play a prank with them, then use this phrase.
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6. Hey, sorry I missed you. There may be one of the reasons why I can’t get to the phone: a) I’m with my girl (laugh), b) I am totally wasted and can’t remember how to use a phone, or c) I just don’t wanna talk to YOU.
This is an audio test. Please listen carefully. Raise your hand when you hear the tone and state which ear it comes from.
Keep in mind that to enjoy the full benefits of your professional greeting system, you must routinely check and delete messages. If your voicemail fills up, you won’t be able to receive new messages, meaning your customers will become frustrated.
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Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world's first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath.
14. "Hello, you've reached the Sales Department at [Company name]. All of our representatives are currently helping clients [insert goal such as, 'achieve 40% growth through streamlining HR operations'] and are unable to take your call. Please leave your name, company, and phone number and we'll give you a call back ASAP. Thank you!"
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You may think your voicemail message is professional. But when you listen back it could sound rushed or shaky. Listen to it regularly to see if changes are needed.
The call itself is apparently real, but no one can substantiate whether this guy just made a call and made up the whole story. As for people claiming to have been involved...there is no shortage of attention-seekers in this country, so that doesn't really persuade me either. Search Menu Main Menu Voicemail Records Confrontration After Traffic Accident Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a motorist and four elderly women? David Mikkelson Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Pinterest Share on Reddit Share via Email
You can add the flavor of fun and humor to your telephone calls through the use of funny voice mails and answering machine messages. You can devise some innovative voice mail ideas for your answering machine. Just make sure that you do not hurt the sentiments of your callers in any way.
I was trying to put together the puzzle of my life and realized there's a piece missing - you. Business transition voicemail greetings communicate important information resulting from changes to your business activities driven by things like a new address or remodeling. Keep it light and simple! In the new HBO documentary Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind, Billy Crystal, fellow comedian and decades-long friend of Robin Williams, opens up about his bond with the late comedian, including a series of voicemails that I'm leaving you this message because it's the fastest way for my heart to reach yours.
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