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“After a few seconds of silence, I say, ‘Gotcha! Sorry I missed your call. Leave your message after the beep,’” he continued, oblivious to the fact that no other human being would ever leave him a voice message for any reason whatsoever. “But it isn’t even over yet. After I’m done talking, you hear a beep and start leaving your message — but the beep is still part of my voicemail! It’s like a double whammy joke!”

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Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! (your name here) can’t come to the phone right now, because he’s spending the week in his beautiful summer home on the French Riviera… .

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Hi. This is David. I’ve shut the ringers off on my phones and taken a sedative. As soon as I finish this recording I’m going to bed indefinitely. When I wake up I’ll play my messages. Please leave one.
Then, the email would say: “Ms. Smith, Fluffy’s next appointment is on Monday the 12th at 1:00. Please click to reply/confirm this appointment at [name of practice]. If we do not hear from you in the next five business days, this slot may be given away. Thank you.” "Does that mean the number of incoming calls and voice mails are also in massive decline in the world of veterinary medicine in favor of electronic communication? Probably not."

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A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future....
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Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for your amusement and use. Today I've decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time.

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Would you like some help from us? Set up a cranky, funny voicemail, and share a moment of laughter with your dear ones, before they understand your intention behind it and run to get you! Whenever I call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells me a lot about who they are, as a person. What does your greeting have? Is it the automated one or have you personalized it to suit your personality?

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    Most business organizations will always have a receptionist who will be responsible for receiving and transferring calls but in case you are using voicemail, then you need to know which are the ways in which you can phrase your greeting. Given below are two examples of greetings that you can use for your voicemail, one for during office hours and the other for after office hours. Thank you for calling (name of company). If you know the extension number of the person you are trying to reach, you may dial it now. Press 1 for (department). Press 2 for (department). Press 3 for the (department). Press 4 for the company directory, or press 0 for the operator. Thank you for calling (name of company). We are currently not here to take your call. Our business hours are (working hours and days). If you know the extension number of the person you are trying to leave a message for, you may dial the number now. Press 1 for (department). Press 2 for (department). Press 3 for (department). Press 9 for a company directory. If this is an emergency, please enter (after hours support number) to be connected with the after-hours support personnel.

    Here are some proven techniques for how to leave a voicemail message that gives you the best chance of getting a call back:
    Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 1.05. Counting down to test: 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

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    Voicemail Normal. Saw Leave A Voicemai. Japan Girl Voicemail. Greetings. Mig phone greeting. Funny Vmail Greet. Elmer Fudd Greeting. Silence Of The Lambs. Leave Your Message.

    The right way to leave your phone number is to start saying your phone number with your area code and then take a 2-3 second pause while the person listening to your voicemail message gets a pen and paper. Then, continue with the next 3 digits, make another 2 second pause, and then say the last 4 digits. Then, slowly repeat your phone number again.
    Hi. If you are a burglar, checking to see if anyone is home, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message.

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    A special high five to Margot Howard for her outstanding research and contributions to this article. We love working with and supporting like-minded entrepreneurs who are passionate about business success strategies. Thank you Margot! ❤️

    No36: Hello, this is Marlin's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life. After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message. Thanks. No37: I can't come to the phone now, so... Hey -- that's a nice phone you have there. Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time... Yes indeedy. Why don't you give me a call sometime and we can listen to some old recordings... I might even play my beep for you.
    Eight days ago she said, "We're breaking up," the call ended, and it's gone straight to voicemail ever since.

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    Funny quotes Part 1You know you have grown up when.. Part 1Inspirational quotesClever quotes and Sayings Part 1Actual Housing Complaints Quick Links Witty QuotesClever QuotesFunny QuotesWisdom QuotesTop Menu

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    Recent CommentsSimon Frazier on Shaft Theme SongTameka Cook-Phillips on Sanford And Son Theme SongWill gordon on Gunsmoke Theme SongJayne Rawlins on Dueling Banjos RingtoneFeroz Sheikh on Venom Ringtone 2. Open iTunes. Select ‘Tones’ in iTunes left top side under Library, and drag the ringtone file to iTunes. Another option is to click the file menu on top left of itunes and click ‘Add file to library…’ 3. Connect your iPhone, click on your iPhone name in iTunes, and select the ‘Tones’ tab in top center. Make sure that ‘Sync tones’ and ‘All tones’ are selected.

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The following greeting accomplishes this succinctly. Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – The Work From Anywhere Business Phone System]. Our office is closed until [Monday, January 25th for the holiday weekend]. If your call is urgent, please contact [Anya at 212-555-1212 or [email protected] ].

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Website: https://www.onsip.com/voip-resources/smb-tips/business-voicemail-greetings-5-sample-scripts

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2. Personal Voicemail Greetings. Customer Support Representative Voicemail Greeting. Hello, you've reached [name] at [X company]. If you need help with [X reason] please contact [X person/X system] or [visit our website and send us an email].

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9. Outgoing Message with Samuel L. Jackson Treatment. Stephen Colbert asked Samuel L. Jackson to record his infamous voice on his outgoing message recording.

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