funny voicemail greetings audio

10. “You are gonna be my new phone buddy.” Many people tend to come in the list of your best pals. This might be a great way to take your friendship to a whole new level.

Don't create any unnecessary complications by asking someone to call you back at the office when you're calling from your cell phone. Today I've decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time.
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Website: https://www.openphone.co/blog/professional-business-voicemail-greetings/
C'mon. You can do it. Just a little one. That's the way. Just a little beep, just a little one. C'mon. Good boy. Here we go. Like this: beeeeep. Just a little one, beeeeeeeeeep. C'mon. There you go!
No35: (Drunken voice:) You have reached Bob's hotline. We are not able to respond due to uninevitable circumcisions. But if you leave your name and noomber, we won't be in wonder... pa-a-a-a! !

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prerecorded business voicemail greetings

Hi. If you are a burglar, checking to see if anyone is home, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message.

If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone.
"Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies." - Quark, DS9 S2E1, "The Homecoming" CivCube, May 23, 2003 Joined: Nov 26, 2002 Messages: 9,643 Location: Kansas puglover, May 23, 2003 Joined: Oct 1, 2001 Messages: 2,272 Location: North Crackalacken "Seinfeld" - Georges answering machines message anyone? .:KNAS:., May 23, 2003 Joined: Sep 12, 2002 Messages: 2,031 Location: Monterrey, Mexico you guys are killing me, I feel like I want to buy an answering machin ASAP! Zcylen, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2003 Messages: 603 Gender: Male Location: northwest Montana Any of you read Doug Hofstadter's Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid? If so, you'll understand the message I actually put on my office voice mailbox: "Your message has just been sent to Tumbolia, the land of dead hiccups and burnt-out light bulbs. Have a nice day." Siegmund, May 23, 2003 Joined: Aug 9, 2002 Messages: 9,471 Location: USA Hello, you have reached the [enter your name here] residence. Please leave your message after the beep. [About a minute passes, no beep. The person decides to leave their message. Hopefully a particularly long one.] *beep* Ohhhhhh, yes. Oh, yeah! Uh huh, ohhhhhh yeah... Ooohhh... Oh my God, is that thing recording? *beep* If you are trying to reach [your phone number here], please stop. I don't like people calling me. I don't like people at all, really. If you have any will to survive, please do not decide to call me back. Thank you. [Only if you don't live in a German-speaking place]: STOPPEN SIE, MICH, SIE ANZURUFEN DUMME LAUNE! ICH MAG SIE NICHT! GEHEN SIE ZUR HÖLLE! OH- UND VERLASSEN IHRE ANZEIGE NACH DEM SIGNALTON. *beep* WillJ, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2002 Messages: 149 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada K-Man, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jun 1, 2002 Messages: 1,148 Location: Québec Hello? Yes, yes, okay, okay, yes, wait a minute... bip!
Just kidding. Do you know of a funnier voice message? Leave it in the comments below! Author: Michael C Michael has over 30 years of executive call center and answering service experience. Post Comment Cancel reply Your email address will not be published.While your best friends might think it's funny, anyone else will see a message like this for what it is: unnecessarily rude.
C'mon... you can do it... just a little one. That's the way... just a little beep, just a little one. C'mon... good boy... here we go... like this -- beeeeep, just a little one, beeeeeeeeeep, c'mon... There you go!
Damn Daniel. Stop Calling My Girlfriend. Cat Facts. Donald Trump - Join My Cabinet. IRS Tax Extension. Obama Bailout. Stop Calling Me. You're Having a Baby. Stop Calling My Boyfriend. Pizza Order Confirmation. You're Having a Baby Boy.We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service.

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what is a visual voice message

28. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I can’t come to the phone right now, probably because I’ve just stepped away from my desk, but possibly because I’m trapped under something heavy. Leave a message and I’ll call you back within one business day — and if I don’t, please send help. download professional voicemail greetings

So, some of the embedded commands that are in here, I made them purple but are also in all caps. Just to make sure I remember to emphasize it a little bit as I'm talking, so just to give you an idea, Mr. Seller, here's how I make it easy and convenient when you sell your house to me.
The following greeting accomplishes this succinctly. Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – The Work From Anywhere Business Phone System]. Our office is closed until [Monday, January 25th for the holiday weekend]. If your call is urgent, please contact [Anya at 212-555-1212 or [email protected] ].
These work voicemail greetings are for the work phone that you and only you use. They’re highly effective because they help you establish a relationship straight from the voicemail. Or they help you share an important update in a simple, straightforward way.
These voicemail ideas may not come so easily for some of you. And who says that finding inspiration is a bad thing.
Creativity In Phone On Hold Messages “There are pros and cons,” explains Easy On Hold President Julie Cook. “We’ve never recommended a trivia-only script for messages on hold, but with hold times upwards of 5 to 6 minutes, a bit of creativity and fun can work. A …

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personal voicemail greeting examples for cell phone funny

That's a common word that I use. And it includes really anything that involves, uh, a junky house, just a house that they inherited, no matter the condition, a house problem could mean the house itself or the situation. So I let the seller know we specialize in hard to sell homes and I go through a laundry list of things that that might include and yes, we can help. I want them to begin connecting me as somebody that helps people in their mind.

It is extremely stunning when a gathering of individuals talk about and read about some unique thing like helpful link about Jane Austen's books et cetera and it will assist them with knowing about it more
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For those with voicemail greetings that get changed about as often as a new president is elected, know that this is doing a serious disservice to the caller-recipient relationship. It signals to callers that the business is anything but an authority, most likely not very detail oriented, and has questionable overall credibility and competency. Those aren’t traits that any business wants to associate itself.
Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye.
You are dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world with no time, where color collides with sound, and shadows explode. You see a sign up ahead. This is no ordinary answering device; this is "The Twilight Phone."

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• professional business voicemail greetings
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personal phone greeting

Your phone system can be a powerful marketing tool for your business, and that includes your voicemail greeting. If you want to utilize this opportunity to throw in a quick humblebrag and keep callers informed of your awards and accolades, there are a few best practices, you should follow. First, keep the self-promotion brief and appropriately placed within your voicemail message. Don’t promote yourself and your products/services in the same greeting, and finally, only include current achievements in your business voicemail greeting.

The above eight rules of engagement for voicemail greetings may sound easy enough, but they’ll require some practice to get just right. Let’s look at some examples to provide some context in how to apply the rules to various types of greetings and situations.
42. Hi, you’ve reached [X company]. Our team is currently out of the office or assisting other customers. Leave your name, number, and a brief message so we can direct your call to the proper team member when we return.
Website: https://www.mightycall.com/blog/the-best-services-to-record-a-voicemail-greeting-for-business/
Voice mail is only impersonal if you make it that way. One way to help increase the effectiveness of voice mail is to change your greeting at least weekly if not daily. Your greeting should let the caller know who they have reached, what is the persons status ( out of the office, in the office but in meetings etc), when the caller can expect to
Below are examples of excellent professional voicemail greetings for various situations to help you get started in creating your own perfect greeting! For each, we’ve included helpful tips, a sample voicemail greeting script, and an audio recording. The greetings are grouped by company greetings, department / team greetings, and personal business greetings. These greetings are likely longer than what you would want to use in real life – but our goal is to help you generate ideas to help you create your own!

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Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.

Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker. As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone... The telephone is next to an answering machine... You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine... You hear a beep... The first Salient Media talent to appear on YouMail is comedian Katt Williams. He has appeared on a variety of television shows and comedy specials, but is best known for his triple platinum selling DVD Pimp Chronicles pt. 1. Other comedians are soon to follow. Voicemail greetings should be professional, but the structure can vary depending on the situation. Here's a sample voicemail greeting script: "Hello, you've reached [name] at [company]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. Leave your name and number, and I'll return your call as soon as I'm free. Thank you.". “Hello, you’ve reached the special agent Bond. James Bond. Okay okay, it’s actually [last name]. I’m currently away saving the world on a top-secret mission but I will get back to you as soon as possible. Please leave your name, contact info, number, and availability and I’ll call back as soon as I’m done helping M16. Have a great day. [last name] out!” Listing Results Funny Voicemail Greeting Mp3 46 Results Phone number Mobile phone Contact us Customer service best voicemail recording best voicemail how do i put a voice message on my phone Close Project X