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Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye.
Funny answering machine or voicemail messages to try. Posted by hotcrowd on August 6, 2009. Try a clever message for your phone. These are a hoot! Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money.
“In case you have forgotten, this is a machine – my owner does not want siding, the newspaper, or the carpets cleaned. He donates to charity through its office and do not want their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave a message and we’ll see if he calls you back.”
We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service. This is a magic voicemail message. Leave a message. Leave a message at the beep. Oh, here it is. Hi, thanks for calling. If you need to reach me right away call my personal line as purposefully leave of one numberthat Hi, I am available to the phone right now but I take the calls in order of importance. !

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great business voicemail greetings

“Good afternoon. You have reached the office of [your name]. I will be out of the office beginning on [date] and will be returning on [date]. Please leave a brief message with your contact information, and I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I return on [date]. If this is an emergency or you need to speak with someone before I return, please contact [name of colleague/supervisor], [their job title], at [their phone number].”

Voicemail greetings can include any information you’d wish to convey, such as special sales, bargains, alternate phone numbers to use, or your company’s normal working hours.
Hello, Mom. Good morning! But if you think about it as a day of fun and learning, you will have so much energy and enthusiasm to wing whatever this day will drop in on you. Seize the day! Take your sweet time. Make sure that your hair is freshly washed and fabulously blown out. Did you know that every minute, a person posts a motivational or inspiring quote that they do not live by? So, is it, Mom? Oh, good morning, by the way! Trust me, Mom. When I woke up this morning, I really had no plans of being drop dead gorgeous, insanely witty, and hopelessly charming.
No6: (Drawling granny voice:) Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine. You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home. Now, shum people, dey shay dey don' like 'em, but I shay it'll shave you a lotta trouble if you jusht leave a meshage. Thanksh a lot.
Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.

Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker. Tip: If you’re not sure how to leave a good voicemail, check out the most effective voicemail script ever and how to end a voicemail that keeps the sales conversation open. funny voicemail greetings script best voicemail script funny voicemail greetings mental health hotline Close Project professional funny voicemail This is Chris. This is his refrigerator. Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. funny voicemail sounds 5. Holiday Voicemail Greetings. Happy [X holiday]! You've reached [your name] at [X company]. I am currently out of the office, but please leave me your name, phone number, and the reason you are calling, and I’ll return your call after the holidays. Can’t take your call, I'm hiding from the men in white coats. We've been playing hide'n'seek for weeks, and they still haven't found me. Tee Hee! Leave a message? 3. "Hey, this is [your name]. If you're calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I'll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s]." Nobody wants to play phone tag. Skip the back and forth by explicitly telling the caller to leave their name, number, and the best day(s) and time(s) to reach them. Your clients will appreciate you not wanting to waste their time. Morgan Freeman is known for his voice so much that he was asked to play the voice and image of God in Bruce Almighty. Morgan’s voice has been immortalized in dozens upon dozens of voiceover projects. Allow him to greet your callers and prompt them to leave a message for you. funny voicemail greetings mental health hotline how to call a person's voicemail how to make a personal voicemail greeting Close Project why does my voicemail make me call it Hello this is Sean Connerey. Monty Python. Pulp Fiction. Jim Rockford.Sign in with Facebook. Membership is free, secure and easy. You will require an account to build your own soundboard or buy sound tracks.! Just fill out the account information below. All unverified accounts are deleted within 72 hours. Cart 0. Website: https://www.onsip.com/voip-resources/smb-tips/business-voicemail-greetings-5-sample-scripts 4. Liam Neeson Threatens and Delights Your Callers. Liam Neeson has been acting for decades but it was his recent role in the hit movie Taken that caught the attention of a younger audience. Practice your spiel so you can speak with authority. This lets the caller know how confident, qualified, and prepared you are. The goal is to sound like you’ve been doing this for years, not a few minutes. Creating funny voicemail messages that are fun for your callers to listen to can be quite entertaining for you too. Instead of leaving a standard, boring voicemail greeting in place, you can use a little creativity that makes callers chuckle or laugh out loud. An easy way to come up with ideas is to do a play on popular TV shows, parody a government agency, or give voice to a machine that has come to life and is expressing its unique personality. A private voicemail box enables a person to receive telephone messages when the phone cannot be answered. Don't create any unnecessary complications by asking someone to call you back at the office when you're calling from your cell phone. Today I've decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time. how do you leave a personal voicemail greeting funny voicemail what to say for personal voicemail greeting Close Project funny greetings for new parents So, I added a, you, uh, your, uh, just a pause or maybe a little chuckle in here or there just to make it sound organic. So right off the top, if we've already spoken about your house and you just need to leave a message, press pound now and leave a message after the tone. So that obviously has a practical use because if sellers call back because that's the only number that they have, maybe the second or third time, I don't want to have to make them endure the entire message before they leave us a message. And that is actually how Vumber works. JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. I’d also say that it might be helpful for this sales agent to be using a script to leave a message. Most of the time when I listen to voice mail, I don’t have a lot of time. Messages that sound like the sales person is fumbling for words make it very frustrating for the message recipient. You’ve reached [LinkedPhone – Where Freedom Rings]. We are currently off-duty. Our business hours are [Monday through Saturday, 9am to 7pm Eastern Standard Time]. Please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call and we’ll get back to you on the next business day. Thank you. 3. The Value. Only your mom will call you back for something you want. Everyone else wants to know what it’s worth their time. At Factor 8 we like the term, SWIIFT℠ So, What’s In It for Them? What you do not want to do is say your phone number so quickly that the person has to listen to your voicemail multiple times to try and figure out your phone number. We have all gotten those annoying voicemail messages where the person said their phone number so quickly that we had to listen to their message several times to figure out their phone number. Don't be that jerk who leaves their phone number so fast that the other person has to listen to your message over and over to try and figure out what your phone number is. clever funny voicemail greetings best voicemail app for android 2020 funny voicemail greetings to do Close Project voicemail pro record greeting Hello. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been? We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you around… beep. Already know who you are and why you've called, please hang up after and we tell each other everything. Can’t take your call, I'm hiding from the men in white coats. We've been playing hide'n'seek for weeks, and they still haven't found me! Tee Hee Hee! Leave a message? 7. A Classic Hepburn Answering Greeting for Voicemails. Katharine Hepburn’s iconic and feisty voice goes down in history and can add a bit of moxie to your voicemail greeting. A funny voicemail greeting is one of those things that seems like a good idea...until you hear it time and time again. For business and professional life, funny voicemail greetings just doesn't make sense. If you're expecting an important call, or trying to impress someone you certainly won't... 5 Steps to Creating an Audio eGreeting Card December 06, 2011 Juli Durante marketing, tips, greetings Website: https://funnypng.blogspot.com/2019/03/funny-answering-machine-greetings-mp3.html funny voicemail to leave someone sample professional voicemail greetings how to put a voice message on my lg phone Close Project X