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No30: I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine? Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe YOU don't really exist. One way to find out is to leave a message, and if it's reality, I will call you back.

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ALSO also, to answer the glaring question: Should you even have seller calls handled by voicemail rather than live answered? (my opinion and thoughts on this may surprise you).
Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions. .

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2. Interactive Voice Response (IVR) Greeting. The greeting callers hear when they enter your IVR. Sample Scripts: “For English press 1. Para Español presione el número 2.”
A professional voicemail greeting is essential in many aspects of a business. In sales, it enables you to properly respond to inquiries from prospects and customers or discuss a deal in more detail. When they call, and you can’t answer, you may lose the opportunity for immediate communication and potentially lose a client or customer.

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#6 [automated robot] “The number you have reached, 717-555-9406, is not available. Please leave a message at the beep.” [/automated robot]
Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... Don't even think about it! Don't!

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Don't Go Crazy. By Michele Meleen Counselor. Funny msg ideas for friend. This is not a voice mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. From farts to turds and from banter to hits below the belt — BFFs, besties, best friends and bae are on the chopping block here.

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    Thanks for sharing, It describes about Numerical limit not apply during Quarter which means spillover should occur quarterly. I don't think they follow that today.

    I’m sorry, I’ve been trying to break the record for "the most calls missed" if it's a emergency or your dieing or something, please hold on till the record is broken, and I will call you back.
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    After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. I'll get back to you as soon as it's safe for you to come out of hiding.

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    Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it’s not working right. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does……

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    Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. [Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.] OK, what would you like me to tell me?
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    I've kidnapped him and am holding him ransom. There is plenty of room for being creative. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Be innocent and coy one time, and more in-your-face with the next voice note. Hey, how are you? Just wanted to let you know that I'm not here so leave a message!

    27. Hey, this is [your name], but you should know that already since you called me. I’m obviously not here right now, so I won’t patronize you by telling you what to do after the tone.
    All in all, when you create an unexpected experience, people not only remember it, but also talk about it.

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4. HulloMail Smart Voicemail. HulloMail is among the best visual voicemail app for android 2018 offering advanced voicemail services with its simple and easy-to-use interface.

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2. “DUDE! I told you to bury the arms and throw the body in the ocean” This will surely make the person on the other end go bonkers for a second. If you want to play a prank with them, then use this phrase.

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17. Hi, this is [your name] at [X Business Name]. Our office is currently closed, but I’ll be back in the office at 9 a.m. tomorrow. Feel free to leave a message or send me an email at [email address], and I’ll get back to you as quickly as possible.

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