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No8: Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions. No9: Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system.

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I made this "grouchy voicemail" for whoever is tired of the boring old voicemail your phone service provides. I will have more funny voicemail greetings on
Here are some of the examples. ! Best Voicemail Greetings ! These voicemail greeting ideas will be your help to inform the callers that you are not available, you are doing something or you are out of the office. ! 1. Hi! You have reached voicemail of (your name), (job title). I … .

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Funny, the majority of us have a phone on us more hours of the day than not, but actually we’re harder to talk to than ever. On personal calls, and especially business calls, you’re much more likely to reach voicemail than the actual person you’re hoping to engage in conversation.
As you look to update your script, here are a few questions to ask: Will your voicemail greeting be funny, so your callers think your business is fun? Do you want the tone to be more professional, so it gives callers the impression you only work with Fortune 500 companies? Do you want to record a brief message, or will a more detailed message be helpful? Knowing these answers will help you craft a personal voicemail greeting unique to your company.

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Get professional voicemail greetings today! Lili is a professional voice talent based in Los Angeles with a deep warm voice that will make your business sound professional. Lili has been recording professional voicemails & messages on hold with a fast turnaround since 1997. Most recordings are …
In the new HBO documentary Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind, Billy Crystal, fellow comedian and decades-long friend of Robin Williams, opens up about his bond with the late comedian, including a series of voicemails that I'm leaving you this message because it's the fastest way for my heart to reach yours. We can't take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and the reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours.

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Road side cafe; you kill them and we’ll cook them. Leave your order and we’ll get back.

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2. The Simpsons Share a Funny Answering Greeting. If you’re looking for a short and simple message, we suggest turning to Homer Simpson as he tells callers to… leave a message.

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    A phone call to your business is often the first encounter your customers and prospects have with your company. If no one is available to take the call, having the best professional voicemail greetings possible is important to leave a great first impression and to ensure that business opportunities don’t slip by.

    No16: Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
    Website: https://saraharpminter.org/answer/funny-answering-machine-messages-audio-files

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    Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 1.05. Counting down to test: 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

    Your voicemail greeting is the first introduction to your office — what kind of impression do you want to leave?
    First, I'd like to pay all your closing costs. When you sell your property. To me, this will save you thousands of dollars because normally when you sell your home, I'm just trying to speak to their subconscious mind, sell your property, sell your home, sell your house to me, sell your house to me. It's not overt to them, but I'm being intentional about not just saying that, but subtly emphasizing those embedded commands.

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    Please leave a message after my kid stops awkward moment of silence owwwwwwwwwww that hurt! BEEP Hello, caller. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave your name, number, and a short message after the tone. This message will self destruct. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it. The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.
    This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. If you don’t wish this call to be monitored or recorded, then please let the answering machine know when you leave your message.

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    Category: Cell Phone, Phone Number, Mobile Phone, Contact Support, Business Show more

    Voicemails and answering machines were particularly en vogue in the '90s hip-hop world. Pitchfork wrote this excellent guide to voicemail templates in …
    If you want to sell us something… this number is no longer valid.The difference between a good morning and a bad morning is oftentimes the first message that you receive in the morning. If you want a fail-safe message that could work on the most important people in your lifelike your boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, or even your parents, you can always take the light and humorous approach.

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funny voicemail greetings for your phone

“Hi, you know who you called; leave a message, maybe they’ll call you back. Then again, maybe they won’t. That’s how life is. Point is, you’ve done what you can. Have a nice day.”

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Get your FREE copy of Art's newly-revised, best-selling 190-page book, "How to Place the Successful Sales Call" mailed to you (just help with the shipping and handling). Over 10,000 sold at $29. Hundreds of word-for-word scripting and messaging examples. Claim yours today! Popular Posts Responding to “I’m not interested.” Why I Am a Maui Jim Sunglasses Customer for Life Funniest or Most Embarrassing Phone Experiences 74 How Questions You Can Use Who Should You Invite to Connect on LinkedIn? Primary Menu Home

funny business voicemail greetings

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Hey, this is ________, and I'm can't come to the phone right now, but don't mind me--You know what to do!

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