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There’s one old woman with a little black purse tomahawking him. She looks like a…jackhammer. We got another woman that’s hitting him like she’s got a cattle prod. She’s got an umbrella she’s sticking it in his side.

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Keeping such hilarious greetings will not only make you feel good, but your callers will also enjoy listening to them. Would you like to write for us? Well, we're looking for good writers who want to spread the word.
2. Hello you’ve reached Matt Grech, I’ll be out of the office for the next few days due to the holidays. Feel free to leave a message, or you can shoot me an email at Matt@GetVoIP if something urgent pops up. I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I return to the office. Happy holidays! .

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Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant’s attorney, Archie’s lawyer advises him that he has no case, as the other side’s witnesses are too strong. There’s an old legal precept, he informs Archie: “You can’t beat a station wagon full of nuns.”
My 12 y/o niece put on her cell phone message, "Leave your name and number. If I love you, I'll call you back." Although not earth-shatteringly funny, it was cute the way she said it. In college my roomate was a cop, he told me that the worst things you can say on an answering machine were 1) telling them your name, 2) telling the caller your number, 3) and that you aren't at home. Well, here's what I did... Thats probably good advice for a home phone, but at the same time, I don't think it applies to a cell phone really. I used to have a longer message aimed at keeping people from leaving messages ... but I hate getting voicemails for the most part. One summer I had my little cousin start singing take me out to the ball game, I cut him off after a few lines, but it was just my version of satire against parents who have their kids sing, and it was pretty funny.

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Hi, I am not here right now, but if you are a friend, leave a message, if you are a creditor you can kiss my... (beep)
Weren’t these messages funny and wacky for your machine. Of course, you have to be a bit careful as to what you say and record on your machine. You don’t want to offend anyone or say something that might upset your listeners. So be absolutely sure. And, if you have any more voicemail ideas, do let us know by leaving a comment below. Till then, I’d like to… beep.

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Funny Answering Machine MessagesFunny Answering machine messages, excuses for being away from the phone, and phone pranks! Location: Clean Jokes > Answering machine messages Machine related Answering message 01 Answering message 03 Answering message 05 Answering message 07 Answering message 09 Answering message 11 Answering message 13 Answering message 15 Answering message 17 Answering message 19 Answering message 21 Answering message 23 Answering message 25 Answering message 27 Answering message 29 Answering message 31 Answering message 33 Answering message 35 Answering message 37 Answering message 32 Answering message 34 Answering message 36 Aha! Jokes > Random Answering Machine Messages Instead of text-based answering machine messages, use audio messages! Visit the funny audio division for almost one hundred different audio answering machine messages. Copyright © 2014 Aha! Jokes LLC. Reproduction in part or whole strictly prohibited. Use subject to terms.

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Apr 2, 2021 - Explore Lizzie Arcia's board "Funny voicemail greetings" on Pinterest. See more ideas about funny voicemail greetings, voicemail greeting, voicemail.

  • free custom professional voicemail greetings

    Tools and techniques for profitable persuasion beamed directly to your pocket monthly. CategoriesCategories Select Category Brand Image Brand Presence Brand Story Employment Branding Marketing Strategy Tags

    Funny Voicemail Greetings. Thank you for calling Santa's workshop. Santa can't come to the phone right now, and the elves are out back barbecuing Blitzen. After the tone, please leave your Christmas list and maybe we'll get back to you!Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can't come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your
    Once upon a time I was calling sellers back, I handed it off to my partner James in 2015, so I set the stage for that interaction so they don't expect to hear from my voice as the first call back by saying either I or my partner James, we'll call you back to discuss it with you. And then again, warm and fuzzy. You can decide what's best for you. Please share as many details about the property you would like to sell in your situation as you can.

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    Keep in mind that short greetings are often much better then trying to say way too much that could confuse your callers. Some pointers to ask, “please leave your name and number”, or maybe ask them to go your business website to contact you by email, or even as simple as text.

    Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial?
    Amazon Business: Make the most of your Amazon Business account with exclusive tools and savings. Login now There was a problem completing your request. Please try your search again later. All Product Information Customer Q&A's Customer Reviews Your question might be answered by sellers, manufacturers, or customers who bought this product.

  • having a funny voicemail message is a good idea

    “Hello, you’ve reached [X company]. We can’t take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours.” “Hi, you’ve reached [company]. Unfortunately, we’re currently unavailable. But we want to talk to you — so please leave your name and number, as well as your reason for calling, and someone will call back ASAP.” “Hi, you’ve reached [company]. We’re available by phone from [hour] to [hour] [time zone] Monday through Friday [optional: and from hour to hour on the weekends]. You can also contact us by going to our website, [URL], and live-chatting or emailing us. If you’d like us to call you back, please leave your name and number after the beep.” “Hello, you’ve reached [company]. If you’re looking for information on [X], please check out our [Facebook page, company website, etc.] If you want to know more about [Y], take a look at [Z page on our site, our YouTube channel, etc.] Still have more questions, or just want to hear our lovely voices? Leave your name and number, and we’ll return your call straight away.”

    Hi, you have reached Angela, Senior Recruitment Specialist. If you are calling to inquire about the status of your application, you can access that information by logging into your account on our online portal, where you applied. Due to the high volume of applications we receive, it is not possible to respond directly to all applicants, only to those whose candidacy is being pursued. For additional information on our recruitment process and what you can expect, please review the FAQ page on our website. If you need immediate assistance, please call back and dial extension 6 for the Human Resources receptionist, or you can leave a message, and I will return your call. Thank you.
    Please leave your contact info, full name, and other details and I’ll call you back once I’m back in the [city/country/area]. Ciao for now!”

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    If you are dying… well that is not our problem and we cannot do anything about it. If you want to sell us something… this number is no longer valid. Thank you for calling Starstripe Mental Hospital, and have a nice day. You have reached the voice mail box of your name. I want to hear what you have to say.

    OK, so I followed all the instructions that came with the machine. I pressed all the necessary buttons. So… now what? I… am… so… confused. Could you please… beep.
    8. Base Visual Voicemail. Base Visual Voicemail is one of the top-rated voicemail apps till now, developed by Telenet Group. This app was designed with an aim to give you a wonderful experience while checking on voicemails while offering a great range of features to view and manage your calls and voicemails with ease.

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This is a true story: my friend's voicemail says, "Hi, you've reached Dave, I'm screening your call." My friend is a recent college graduate, currently searching for a job. While your best friends might think it's funny, anyone else will see a message like this for what it is: unnecessarily rude.

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Thanks for calling Dial-An-Idiot. Right now, all our idiots are busy. After the tone, leave your name and number, and we'll have an idiot return your call as soon as possible.

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Acces PDF Telephone Answering Machine Messages 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages | Laugh Break The telephone answering device is slightly different from the concept of voicemail, given that voicemail represents a centralized and networked

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