You have entered into a glorious pool of sound. You are traveling through time with a weightless companion known as music, and as Liquid Parallax as your tour guide, prepare to be exhilarated. Amusing / Fun-Sites / Humor Funny Answering Machine Voice Messages by Joey on Dec 9, 2007 • 3:27 pm 3 Comments
Thank you for posting the video. I think the script is well put together and seems somewhat pesonal.
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Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions.
Two other parodies of telephone messages have been made from the telephone company by Ghtrout.
49. Hello, you’ve reached the customer service team for [X company]. Our representatives are currently unavailable, but if you leave your name and a callback number, someone will get back to you shortly.
Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Sam can't come to the phone right now because he's spending the week in his beautiful summer home on the French Riviera.
Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you. Hello, you have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep. Hi, this is [ your name ]. I’m sorry, I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone …
A good voicemail greeting is short and professional, lets people know that you’ll get back to them, and invites callers to continue engaging with a call-to-action. You should also show your personality if you’re in an industry or role that allows that. If your industry is more conservative, however, you’ll want to keep humor and personal touches to a minimum. A greeting Your name Your company A simple explanation for missing the call (e.g. you’re away from the phone or are on holiday) A rough estimate of when you’ll get back to the person An alternative person to reach out to (if you’re out of office) An alternative mode of communication (if you prefer email or text) A call-to-action such as “Leave a message” or “Send me an email at [email protected]”
14. "Hello, you've reached the Sales Department at [Company name]. All of our representatives are currently helping clients [insert goal such as, 'achieve 40% growth through streamlining HR operations'] and are unable to take your call. Please leave your name, company, and phone number and we'll give you a call back ASAP. Thank you!"
Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone.
4. Sincere and Short Voicemail Messages for Personal Use. These answering machine messages are the type that most people leave. These can be used for non-business or personal phones.
This is not an answering machine–this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.
I offered them a fair cash offer in a timely fashion and then that's a major benefit, a quick easy sale, you know, when dealing with motivated sellers in tough situations, that's really what they're looking for. You may deal with some people sometimes who are just focused exclusively on the price, but I find more often than not, sellers just want a quick, easy solution to the problem that they're in, which means a quick, easy sale and which is why I say you can avoid all the hassles typically that come along with selling your house through an agent or on your own.
*Quick Tip* If you have your very own salon app, then make sure you mention that in your voicemail as well! For more ideas on salon app marketing, click here.
3. Hello. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been? We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you around… beep.
My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.
1. "Hi, you've reached [your name] at [your company]. I'm unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘ double their leads in 60 days,' ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,' ‘convert 40% more customers.']