Hi! Jan's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
Obviously, my dad always replied with "Hello, this is 555-6789, give us a call back when you can." Every time.

If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you. This is not a voicemail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you and I'll think about returning your call. Hello, this is Death.
Not sure if this is real or not (and either is snopes, see below). But, it sure is funny. Happy Monday! EDIT: Try this link. This is where I got it from, I didn't try the one below and it apparently doesn't work: Claim: Voicemail message describes a confrontation between a male motorist and four women after a minor traffic accident.

Don't mess with Bible-totin' old ladies.. Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy. On a recent Spurs trip, we were asking one of our sponsors who works at Jack in the Box for some funny stories or experiences with the company. The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide "play by play" of the incident. After telling us the story, he promised to send us a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box; it crashed their voice mail server. Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant's attorney, Archie's lawyer advises him that he has http://www.snopes.com/autos/graphics/fight.gif no case, as the other side's witnesses are too strong. There's an old legal precept, he informs Archie: "You can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." Perhaps Archie Bunker couldn't beat a station wagon full of nuns, but according to a circulating audio clip, an Impala full of Bible-toting middle-aged women could beat (literally!) the motorist who ran into them. We present the recording for your listening enjoyment through [url="http://www.snopes.com/autos/audio/jackbox.mp3"]this (http://home.swbell.net/kf5tv/voicemail.mp3) link. The file size of the clip is over 4MB, so please be patient while it downloads. As to the questions of whether the account given above is an accurate explanation of the origins of this audio clip, and whether the traffic incident described actually took place, we have to leave them as "Undetermined" for now. A inquiry posed to the corporate offices of Jack in the Box restaurants produced the following response: Thank you for your inquiry. The message that has been in circulation is an actual voice mail message. The incident occurred 5-6 years ago in Texas. I'm not sure how the recording got outside the company or if the employee still works for Jack in the Box, but the recording periodically re-surfaces on the radio and the internet. Even if this explanation is accurate (i.e., the clip originated as a message left on a Jack in the Box employee's voicemail), it doesn't preclude the possibility that the accident described never took place, and the recording was just a prank one employee pulled on a co-worker. pre recorded business voicemail greetings Nerdy Fact you can call the number on Lucy from Despicable Me2's card get - Prank - Prank meme - #prank #prankmeme - Nerdy Fact you can call the number on Lucy from Despicable Me2's card get a voicemail etc COOL!! The post Nerdy Fact you can call the number on Lucy from Despicable Me2's card get appeared first on Gag Dad. 7.) End on a high note! You don’t necessarily need to say “Goodbye” at the end of a voicemail, because you didn’t really talk to anyone. Instead, try something like, “Look forward to chatting with you!” Use the word “with” instead of “to.” It sounds less like the person is going to receive a parental or boss “talking to” and more like two people who are eager to connect with one another on the phone. It’s a subtle difference, yet it’s a gracious one! Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. The new number is Yes, same number. Be Part Of Our Story! how to make the best voicemail So leave a message at the beep. Hi…You have reached name. I am unable to answer your call. Leave your name and number and I will return your call…If you are a bill collector, please send me a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can send you my latest bills.JavaScript seems to be disabled in your browser. You must have JavaScript enabled in your browser to utilize the functionality of this website. There are very few cases in which our telephone answering service would recommend having an antiquated voicemail answer your incoming calls. how to make the best voicemail If you still have this for a greeting, you might be interested to know that your friends hate you. funny voicemail greetings for telemarketers Too Bad These 10 Biggest NBA Draft Busts Didn’t Deliver as Expected7 Funniest Misheard Lyrics That You Got Wrong TooYou’ll Definitely Laugh at These 7 Funniest Nigger Jokes7 Funniest Wedding Toasts That Will Make Everyone LaughGet to Know the 6 Biggest Yielding Cannabis StrainsThese 12 Funniest Gamertags Will Make You Laugh Out Loud Recent Posts 7 Funny Things That Only People Who Exercise Would Understand 7 Funniest Wedding Toasts That Will Make Everyone Laugh 7 Funniest Misheard Lyrics That You Got Wrong Too 7 Funniest Riddles That Will Make You Think and Laugh 7 Funniest Graduation Speeches You’ll Never Forget Contact Us 1. Hi this is [your name], I’m either away from my desk or on the phone, please leave your name and number along with a short message and I’ll be sure to get back to you. 2. I’m sorry, but I’m momentarily tied up. Please leave your name and number, and I’ll … Send Message Create an account. I agree to the license terms. Sign Up You already have an account? Login here. funny voicemail greetings download By the way, pro tip: I use Vumber, Vumeber.com for this service. And as you can see from the pricing is very reasonable. $10 a month gets you to local phone numbers in your area and you can use up to 500 minutes on those two numbers, three cents for each additional minute. Expect to spend $100-$400 for a voiceover session. (For a lower price point, look at Fiverr, but if you have more room in your budget, check out a voice acting agency.) The average professional studio session from start to finish will take approximately two hours, depending on how many scripts you have to record and how prepared you are. 6. The number you have dialed is powered off. Okay, so I have also said this over the phone numerous times. It just sounds one of the funniest ways to answer the phone. Download and install Slydial onto your phone.Sign up for an account and log into the app.Dial 267-SLYDIAL to connect to the service.Enter the cell number you are trying to reach when prompted.Leave your message.See More....What is the best answering machine message? The above greeting is a professional voicemail script used by many growing and established businesses. It delivers the message quickly and efficiently, without wasting the caller’s time. The point of a voicemail greeting is to encourage your callers to leave a message. More often than not, and this is becoming more evident every day, people are just hanging up and assuming the receiver will call back. On the other hand, funny voicemail greetings keep people on the phone longer. Given that you have already captured their attention and they have taken the time to listen to your greeting, they are certainly going to leave a message. This will not only remind you to return the call, but it also shows their interest in completing the home improvement project. ! funny ex voicemail how to call back voicemail funny voicemail voices Close Project professional phone greeting In other words, voice mail isn’t dead yet for veterinarians. Let’s consider strategies to make your voice mail messages effective. Always strive to move the conversation forward, even if that’s simply to let clients know: The best times to reach you When you’ll try to call again How to connect with you in other ways (email or text message) So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk. Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You guessed it. This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. If you don't wish this call to be monitored or recorded, then please let the answering machine know when you leave your message. 5. I checked my final recording by listening to my voicemail message fr om both a cell phone and a landline, and also asked a friend to listen for a second opinion. My new voicemail greeting: My new personal voice message recording sounds clear, concise and sophisticated. 2011 funny voicemail softwares - Free download - FreeWares Funny voicemail greetings about the economy: sprint voicemail password, best voice greeting messages cute funny voicemail greetings what is a good cold call script Close Project how to use voice message More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time. However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller. The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail. A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. personal phone greeting message sample 5. "Hello, [Person's name] is chasing new adventures and is no longer with [Company name]. Please forward all future requests to [New or interim person's name] at [phone number]. *Free E-Books +Business Ideas 2021 *Branding Tips *Slogans *Resources & Tools @Social Media Calendar *Letters Templates *Pros And Cons *Names Generator #Invitation Templates ^Canva Templates Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time. However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller. Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape. Smith suggests the following sample messages for other typical voice mail messages a veterinarian or veterinary practice team member might need to leave. If you’re calling to see how a pet is doing after a recent medical encounter/treatment: Voice mail – “Ms. Smith, this is Dr. Vet just checking in on Fluffy. If you have any questions, please contact our office at 212.555.1234.” Email – “Ms. Smith, this is Dr. Vet just checking in on Fluffy. If you have any questions, please contact our office at 212.555.1234.” If you’re calling with a pet’s medical results or treatment decisions: Good news voice mail – “Ms. Smith, this is Dr. Vet, and you will be glad to hear all of Fluffy’s testing came back fine. She is good to go until her next appointment.” Bad news voice mail – “Ms. Smith, this is Dr. Vet, and we have the results of Fluffy’s tests. Please call our office at 212.555.1234 so that we can discuss these results.” Tips for connecting with clients funny voicemail audios best voicemail recording for business how to greet customer in call center Close Project funny greetings for villagers acnh -So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.-Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.-Roses are red booger’s are green please leave your message on this … Be honest...you've been fooled by this one before, haven't you? It goes like this: riiiing, riiing, riiiing "Hey." "Hi, it's Juli what's up?" "Oh. I'm not here right now, leave me a message after the beep". There is actually very little I find more irritating than this voicemail, especially for business. Why do you want to fake out a business opportunity? This voicemail leaves callers feeling embarrassed and you looking foolish. 50. Hi, this is the customer service center at [X company]. We’re sorry to have missed your call. Leave your name and number and the next available representative will call you back to assist you. Things to Include in a Voicemail Message Get the Caller to Leave Their Name and Phone Number All of HubSpot’s marketing, sales CRM, customer service, CMS, and operations software on one platform. Free HubSpot CRM Overview of all products Marketing Hub Sales Hub Service Hub CMS Hub Operations Hub NEW App Marketplace Pricing Resources Resources Education Free Courses & Certifications Why HubSpot ? Services Onboarding & Consulting Services Partners & Developers About Start free or get a demo Start free or get a demo Log in Customer Support Marketing Sales Service Website Subscribe Subscribe via Email Email Address So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee. As you can see by reading our article on how to write the best voicemail greetings, they’re a bit more complex than one might imagine. There are important elements that cannot be left out, as to do so could cost you valuable business contacts. We realize this, so have included a selection of more funny, professional, and personal greeting examples, in MS Word and PDF format. By using these voicemail greetings, you’ll be well on your way to craft a greeting that will be pleasant to hear, provide the correct information, as well as requesting the correct information. best voicemail messages funny holiday greeting to someone who lost a loved one funny voicemail greetings from movies Close Project why is my voice message not working on snapchat Movies and Television. There is surely no better way to make voicemail fun than with pop culture references. Tim Gunn . Play off a classic line delivered by Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca. "Of all the messages on all the phones in all the world, you have to leave one for me." Hello, this is Jason's voice. Jason's not here right now -- hey, haven't you ever lost YOUR voice? Well, believe you me, when I find him again, I'll have a few choice words for him. If you do too, leave them after the beep. However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller. The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail. 40 Voicemail Greetings & Phone Message Templates [Business, Funny, Professional] Nowadays most people rely on their phones so much that it’s basically become a part of our lifestyle. They used to be just a device which can be used to talk and communicate verbally. Feel free to add a personal touch to make your voicemail message fun and interesting. Clients will feel reassured when they know their messages have been received and you will get back to them. Oh, and if you’re looking for extra marketing resources, grab your FREE copy of The Beauty & Hair Salon Owners Ultimate Guide To Facebook today! Label {} [+] Name* Email* Website Oldest Newest Zoé Bélisle-Springer is an award-winning writer, author of various ebooks, podcaster and speaker known for their contributions to inspiring materials destined for the salon community. They have been featured in SalonEVO, Salon Today, Professional Beauty UK, Thrive Global, Authority Magazine, Future Of Everything and spoken at conferences such as Modern Salon’s Digital Summit, the Thrive Sessions, Seattle Interactive and Uppercase. As Phorest Salon Software’s Community & Content Manager, they are responsible for the planning and execution of localised audio and written content as well as driving community engagement leading to collaborative course content, mentorship programs and online/on-demand video content. See all articles by Zoé Bélisle-Springer Over the last few decades, the price of living has gone up, and customers’ habits have changed. In the hair and beauty industry, there’s still quite a bit of fear […] For a couple of years now, December also means Spotify users, artists and podcasters get their “Spotify Wrapped” or year in review. This year on Phorest FM, we produced over […] Brand & PR / Sales & Marketing “The beauty industry is a different beast!” That’s what my boss used to tell me when I worked at Urban Retreat. From hairdressers to medispa and beauty, this business had […] Book a free demo Request a quote best professional voicemail greetings examples funny greetings phone answer funny voicemail pranks Close Project funny voicemail numbers to call Examples of the Funniest Voicemail Messages Listed Here: Hello. This is a magic voicemail message. Only people I don’t want to talk to can hear it. Abracadabra. Leave a message. This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial? Hello. Hello. If you’re there I can’t hear you. Just kidding. Leave a message at the beep. When you create an electronic greeting, it’s important to practice or write down your message before recording it. Your message will feel more genuine if it flows and will be perceived better. Rehearsing might even help you find the perfect wording for you! If you are one of the multiple out-of-area code numbers that constantly insist upon calling me, even though you should know by now im never going to answer, press the end button.JavaScript seems to be disabled in your browser. Slideshare uses cookies to improve functionality and performance, and to provide you with relevant advertising. If you continue browsing the site, you agree to the use of cookies on this website. See our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. Slideshare uses cookies to improve functionality and performance, and to provide you with relevant advertising. If you continue browsing the site, you agree to the use of cookies on this website. See our Privacy Policy and User Agreement for details. Home Explore Submit Search Upload Login Signup Home Explore Login Signup × You’ve unlocked unlimited downloads on SlideShare! Your download should start automatically, if not click here to download You also get free access to Scribd! Instant access to millions of ebooks, audiobooks, magazines, podcasts, and more. Read and listen offline with any device. Free access to premium services like TuneIn, Mubi, and more. We use your LinkedIn profile and activity data to personalize ads and to show you more relevant ads. You can change your ad preferences anytime. Share Email List of 50 Best Voicemail Greetings by Professional Voic... 8225 views Maintaining a business-like manner is very important in all facets of corporate life. For most compa... Recommended List of 50 Best Voicemail Greetings Be A Great Product Leader (Amplify, Oct 2019) Trillion Dollar Coach Book (Bill Campbell) APIdays Paris 2019 - Innovation @ scale, APIs as Digital Factories' New Machi... 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