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Are you bored of listening, as well as recording standard voice-mail messages in your answering machine? If so, scroll for some really funny voice-mail greetings, which will surely bring a… 18+ Voicemail Greeting Examples to Help You Record the Perfect One

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Hi, you have reached (names) voicemail. If you want money or to sell us something, we a) gave at the office, b) already have it, or c) don’t want it. If you are a …
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Be honest...you've been fooled by this one before, haven't you? It goes like this: riiiing, riiing, riiiing "Hey." "Hi, it's Juli what's up?" "Oh. I'm not here right now, leave me a message after the beep". There is actually very little I find more irritating than this voicemail, especially for business. Why do you want to fake out a business opportunity? This voicemail leaves callers feeling embarrassed and you looking foolish.
We actually know a top insurance sales guy who did a sales motivational message every day just like this, and people used to call just to listen to his thoughts.

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21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages Laugh Brea . Listen to your voice messages and return any calls at your convenience. Set up your voicemail, and get started with Skype voice messages today. Get Skype . Discover all Skype's features .
This call is from a couple of kids that decided to leave a prank on my voicemail. They are acting like they are being attacked by a vampire bat. This kid has left me pranks in the past also.

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"Hello? ...Hello? ...Hellooo? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak up, I can't hear you... That's 'cuz I'm not home! Leave a message.

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Last night, my mother told me to check my email, and I knew from the poorly disguised grin that I had another gimmicky “greeting card” waiting for me. The cards tackle the human psyche as if we are creatures of binary emotional existence: vulgar humor or molasses-sweet. Read More Podcast: How do eGreeting Cards Increase Customer Engagement? November 11, 2014 Andy Begnoche' customer experience, podcast, greetings

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    The above greeting is a professional voicemail script used by many growing and established businesses. It delivers the message quickly and efficiently, without wasting the caller’s time.

    If I’m your best friend, that’s not a problem. But otherwise, I have no idea if I’m leaving a message for the right person or not. Was that his voice? I couldn’t tell. It kinda sounded like Micheal Cera. Did I accidentally just call Michael Cera’s phone? “Hey if this is Alex, it’s Bryan Allain…call me back. And if this is Michael Cera, loved you in Year One. You may also call me back.”
    Hello. Thank you for contacting [Business Name]. Unfortunately, we are not currently available at the moment. Our regular office hours are Monday through Friday, 8 am to 4 pm, closed during the weekend. Please leave a message along with your name and number, and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

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    Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... don't even think about it!... Don't...!

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    Dear Caller: As I'm leaving you this message, the sun is shining for a change. Little children are cavorting in the park, and their tasty mothers and teenage sisters are sunbathing practically nude. So, did you really think I was going to stick around this dump?

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    data Price FAQs Services Customised messages Prerecorded messages Annual Subscription Blog Extra Install messages Set messages for Asterisk Switchboard voicemail catalogue Become affiliated Are you a switchboard manufacturer? Our API Funny Answering Machine (Messages) THE NUMBER ONE WORLDWIDE FUNNIEST LINE

    Greetings; Funny; Funny Voicemail Funny Voicemail sorry but nobodys available to answer you call at this time.if you'd like to leave a message please wait for the beep, then press #, then so on..great This is a free greeting. Sign in or sign up to use! Want a ringtone instead? Send it to your phone. Comments On This Greeting ( 16 ) At 6
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    13Please repeat the captcha below [utter captcha] to confirm you are not a robot before being allowed to leave a message at [your name]’s voicemail. This is a great copy of the internet’s way of cracking down on spam and robots. Callers will be left repeating the captcha unknowingly. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you leave me a voicemail, then that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will call you. This is a classic line from the movie Taken (without the violence). Your callers will always get startled at the threat initially but will surely leave them in jitters as they drop a message in your voicemail. This is a classic trick and one that is both funny and frustrating. Watching people continue to speak as if you’re there is funny. Make sure they know when to leave a message though. You may also like 10 Great Templates: How to Say Thank You for Your Order to Customers

    Voicemails don’t necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you should be looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever you call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells you a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, you’ve got to put a little bit of “you” when it comes to voicemail.
    Wanna hear a joke? Knock, knock! Hello, and thank you for calling the Starstripe Mental Hospital. If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership.

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Tonberries enjoy dark, shadowy places lit only by their lamps or dim natural light, and are most often found living in the depths of empty caves or ancient ruins. Though they seem to be peaceful creatures living in large, friendly societies, the presence of an outsider in their territory can make them very angry. tonberry, May 24, 2003 Joined: Feb 22, 2001 Messages: 3,328 Location: Casa de Non Compos Mentis "You have reached the residence of ..... currently we are out hunting other people to cook and fry for dinner. Please leave your phone number and address and we will get back to you." allhailIndia, May 26, 2003 Joined: Sep 4, 2002 Messages: 53 "Hello?.... Wait, i can't hear you.... just a second.... BEEP bige2002, May 26, 2003 One of Dad's friends had an answering machine that said... Hello? * you start saying message* Oh yeah! I'm not here! Please leave a message. *beep* puglover, May 26, 2003 Joined: Nov 10, 2002 Messages: 1,536 Location: NY, NY

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A funny voicemail greeting is one of those things that seems like a good idea...until you hear it time and time again. For business and professional life, funny voicemail greetings just doesn't make sense. If you're expecting an important call, or trying to impress someone you certainly won't... 5 Steps to Creating an Audio eGreeting Card December 06, 2011 Juli Durante marketing, tips, greetings

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5. Trekkies Have a Fun Outgoing Message to Use. If you’re a #Trekkie or a #Trekker, this is the best of our funny voicemail greetings. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers.

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