Origins: In one memorable episode of the 1970s television sitcom All in the Family, Archie Bunker is involved in a minor traffic accident and, eager to cash in on the incident, rushes out and engages a Jewish lawyer to sue the other party. However, after conferring with the defendant’s attorney, Archie’s lawyer advises him that he has no case, as the other side’s witnesses are too strong. There’s an old legal precept, he informs Archie: “You can’t beat a station wagon full of nuns.”
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Recording voicemail greetings for your business or personal life requires a separate list of priorities, because they are being used for two distinct purposes and will be heard by two very different types of callers. I have a friend with two cell phones - one for work, and one for personal calls - and if you call both lines, you would never know it's the same person.
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More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time. However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller. The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail. A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century.
-Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.
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1. Business voicemail greeting samples. If you have a main business phone number that’s shared with the customers or publicly listed, you’ll want to make sure it has a professional voicemail message to greet callers.
Of course, your phone rang because someone wanted to get in touch. They got your voicemail because you were busy or just not there. If you section off a block of your day to check voicemails, let the caller know so they can expect a time for you to return their call. People will leave more details if they know someone will check it later.
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7. "Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and the reason you'd like to chat, and I'll get back to you ASAP.
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Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers: No one answers phone …
On your phone, tap the Phone app. Tap the Voicemail tab and follow the prompts. Once your voicemail is set up, and you've added Voicemail to Text for iPhone, you'll automatically start receiving your voicemail messages as text messages that you can view in the text messaging app.
"Hello? ...Hello? ...Hellooo? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak up, I can't hear you... That's 'cuz I'm not home! Leave a message.
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Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
JP always has great content as well as you always learn something new coming to his site. Great content brother!
Parodying any government or secret service agency is also a great way to create funny voicemail messages. For instance, you could say, "Thank you for calling the Slovakian Consulate. All our diplomats are out changing lightbulbs, so at the sound of the tone, please leave your details and any international secret you may have for sale." Creating funny voicemail messages that sound like they are from the mafia, the FBI, the CIA, or even the IRS can be a cool way to greet your callers when you are not available.
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No19: I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
1. Business voicemail greeting samples. If you have a main business phone number that’s shared with the customers or publicly listed, you’ll want to make sure it has a professional voicemail message to greet callers.
Operating systems that create a link between users and the applications form the core of computer systems. An OS dissociates the programs from the hardware and simplifies resource management. Let…
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Morgan Freeman is known for his voice so much that he was asked to play the voice and image of God in Bruce Almighty. Allow him to greet your callers and prompt them to leave a message for you. I wish I could tell you that Morgan Freeman was available to take your call. I wish I could tell you that, but this is no fairytale world. Morgan Freeman is gone now; to where I cannot say. Click here to experience this voicemail message on Youtube. Stephen Colbert asked Samuel L. Jackson to record his infamous voice on his outgoing message recording.
If you’re looking for funny voicemail messages to leave on your answering machine or cell phone, then here are some of the best examples to try. We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service.
LEVEL 6, BRILLIANT SOLITAIRE, SCHEME No 78 PART 2, VIJAYNAGAR, INDORE (M.P.) – 452010 IN P: +91 731 6725516 | M: [email protected]
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Hellooo....Hellloooo, well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return.
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Alpha Centauri Space Station. Commander Marlin can't come to the phone right now. He's either saving the universe from some dread, unnamed peril, or perhaps taking a nappie. Leave your name and number after the beep and he will return your call.
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These guys do it all. They have a voice-over service (including writing the greeting script) and transfer the greeting to your phone in super high quality. I couldn’t find anything better online anywhere. https://www.okcvideoproduction.com/record-high-quality-voicemail-greeting Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Check out all posts
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You can’t always get to the phone when clients, partners, investors, or colleagues call you. When this happens, a professional voicemail greeting helps you make a positive impression and tells them what to do next. There are a variety of ways to convey your message. If you’re not sure what type of message to record for your own voicemail box, here’s a definitive guide to get you started.
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We look forward to serving you so please leave your contact info, details and reason for calling after the beep. We will call you right back!
Michael has over 30 years of executive call center and answering service experience. He is a successful business owner and lead generation expert and shares tips to help other entrepreneurs build and grow their business through leads generation and lead capture solutions. His mission is to share carefully guarded marketing tips that will help small-medium business compete on a smaller budget. Your email address will not be published. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email.
18. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm away from [date] to [date]. If you need help with [X] before then, please contact [name] at [phone number]. Everyone else, please leave your name and number and I'll return your call when I return. Thanks and have a great day."
This spam showcases around voicemail phishing Vishingwhich is a type of scam done through Voicemails. I want to be your best friend until I am too old to remember.
“Hey, this is [your name] over at [XYZ company]. So anyway I’m about to give in my resignation right now. Please don’t call here again. Just kidding!
A busy greeting should tell callers that your phone lines are currently in use. You can direct people to wait on hold or leave a message. For example, “Hello, you’ve reached [company name]. Our representatives are currently helping other customers. Please stay on the line to speak with the next available team member, or press one to leave a message and we’ll call you back.”
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Below we have the top quotes as they were voted on by the visitors of witty-quotes.com. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. Witty-Quotes | Site Map | Terms and Conditions | Links Page | Privacy Policy Popular Pages
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No8: Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions. No9: Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system.
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"Hello. No one's home and the answering machine isn't working. This is the refrigerator. Please leave your message with me and I'll stick it to myself with this magnet. Thank you." MacRumors attracts a broad audience of both consumers and professionals interested in the latest technologies and products. We also boast an active community focused on purchasing decisions and technical aspects of the iPhone, iPod, iPad, and Mac platforms.
Concatenation of events preclude our coming to the phone. Please speak freely, with magniloquence upon occasion of the tone.
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5. The Serious Greeting. I’m going into hibernation for a few months. For more updates, check my Facebook page. Hello, to reach the person you are calling, please say the password.
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Dear Caller: As I'm leaving you this message, the sun is shining for a change. Little children are cavorting in the park, and their tasty mothers and teenage sisters are sunbathing practically nude. So, did you really think I was going to stick around this dump?
3. Hello. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been? We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you around… beep.
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However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller. The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.
I would be more than happy to discuss your project and your budget, together we can come up with a plan that works for everyone. Budgets and negotiation are often part of the business world.
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It was also when I didn’t have to worry about getting “professionals” calling me. If you might have to worry about that, I highly recommend you don’t use these and just enjoy them. The singing messages are about 30 seconds long to sing, which is long for a voice mail, but that’s these lyrics’ “price” of fun.
Are you creating a voicemail greeting for your entire company or team? These business voicemail greetings will do the trick.
29. Hi, this is [your name] at [X company]. I am on vacation right now and won’t be back to the office until [X date]! Please leave me your name, phone number, and the reason you are calling, and I will get back to you then. Alternatively, you can phone [Name] at [phone contact information]. Thank you for calling!
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If it works better for you, offer your callers the option to email you, or even send over a text to a VoIP texting app, or even your personal number if you don’t mind. Many people will prefer the ability to quickly text or email, and callers will appreciate the increased level of service.
5. 605-475-6959: The bad breath notification hotline. Have you ever met someone that, on first glance, looks to be an ideal mate but as soon as they open their mouth and begin speaking, an unbelievable odour comes from their mouth?
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Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for your amusement and use. Today I've decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time. Hey, how are you? Just wanted to let you know that I'm not here so leave a message!
Give him a reason to smile and think about you with a fun message he won't forget. From awful pickup lines to adorable puns, cheesy phrases make great messages for your guy. Take inspiration from popular memes and plays on words to create an original cheesy voicemail.
My voicemail prompts the caller to leave his or her name and number. My dad’s response on his most recent message:
23. "Happy holidays! [I'm, the team at X company is] away until [date]. We'll make sure to call you back straight away when we return. If your request is urgent, email [emergency contact] at [email address]. Thanks, and have a wonderful day."
Your call is important to us and we will get back to you as soon as possible. Please leave your full name, contact details, phone number, and availability after the beep and we will call you back straight away. Thank you!”
Hello! This is 1-800-PRESLEY. Yes! 1-800-PRESLEY! They say the King died 10 years ago, but we know he's still out there somewhere. So, leave your name and number and tell us where you saw Elvis!
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We are no longer allowing posts or threads that deny the existence of Covid-19. Members have lost loved ones to this virus and are grieving. As a Christian site, we do not need to add to the pain of the loss by allowing posts that deny the existence of the virus that killed their loved one. Future post denying the Covid-19 existence, calling it a hoax, will be addressed via the warning system. Join or Sign In Congregational forums are now Christians Only New rule about videos Changes in the Life Stages section Prayer banner Covid-19 Denial (Narrator's voice There Dale sits, reading a magazine.Suddenly the telephone rings! "Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep." Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you." You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment.
Going Green. Saving Money. Getting Tech Savvy. These are some of the many reasons why businesses choose to send eGreeting cards in lieu of traditional paper cards. If you are considering sending an eGreeting card this year, follow these steps to make it the best it can be: Business and Personal Professional Voicemails October 28, 2011 Katie Devlin resources, tips, greetings
My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.
Brought to you by Best Answering Service. This is a magic voicemail message. Leave a message. Leave a message at the beep. Oh, here it is. Hi, thanks for calling. If you need to reach me right away call my personal line as purposefully leave of one numberthat Hi, I am available to the phone right now but I take the calls in order of importance. You may hold or leave a message at the beep.
A busy greeting should tell callers that your phone lines are currently in use. You can direct people to wait on hold or leave a message. For example, “Hello, you’ve reached [company name]. Our representatives are currently helping other customers. Please stay on the line to speak with the next available team member, or press one to leave a message and we’ll call you back.”
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