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When your small business is closed, ensure that your callers know that! If appropriate, you might want to reiterate your business hours to manage callback expectations.

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3. Hello, this is [your name]. I’m sorry I’ve missed your call. If you leave your name, number, and reason for calling, I’ll get back to you as promptly as possible.
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Reality is usually better than anything I could make up. Here is a voice message received by one of my readers. (I bleeped out the sales rep’s phone number).
If you’re looking for funny voicemail messages to leave on your answering machine or cell phone, then here’s some of the best examples to try. We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself.

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Nobody wants to listen to a long-winded voicemail. Keep your greeting short, simple, and concise. A voicemail message should pique a client’s interest and leave them looking forward to your call. Stick to the basics, explaining your company name, hours of operation, and when to expect a callback.
But it appears I’m not alone. Here’s a portion of one reader’s letter; see whether you relate!

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I made this "grouchy voicemail" for whoever is tired of the boring old voicemail your phone service provides. I will have more funny voicemail greetings on

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Hi, you have reached (phone number) you have a chance to win one million dollars if you can answer the following 1. What is your name? 2. What is your phone number? 3. Why did you call this number?

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    No40: Hello, you've reached 344-1312, the Apartment at the End of the Universe. Please leave your message, name and number at the sound of the tone. Keep your hands, feet, extremities and obscenities inside the car at all times. Enjoy your ride.

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    MightyCall provides such an answer for businesses. With simple, visually-based call flows, adapting your voicemail messages for different customers and even different times of day demands no tech knowledge and no hardware. Try MightyCall’s business phone system free for 7 days, or book a live demo today.

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    I’d also say that it might be helpful for this sales agent to be using a script to leave a message. Most of the time when I listen to voice mail, I don’t have a lot of time. Messages that sound like the sales person is fumbling for words make it very frustrating for the message recipient.

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    I've assembled this list in mid-nineties from the messages that people were emailing around. As far as I know, the author of this list is unknown.

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    Funny pre-recorded voice mail and answering machine messages. Custom Voice Greetings Personal voice greetings custom made just for you. Create your custom greeting through our business section. Dazzle your friends and callers with a professional voice greeting customized just for you. Or make them laugh with a funny pre-recorded voice greeting!

    Creating funny voicemail messages that are fun for your callers to listen to can be quite entertaining for you too. Instead of leaving a standard, boring voicemail greeting in place, you can use a little creativity that makes callers chuckle or laugh out loud. An easy way to come up with ideas is to do a play on popular TV shows, parody a government agency, or give voice to a machine that has come to life and is expressing its unique personality. A private voicemail box enables a person to receive telephone messages when the phone cannot be answered.
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    Voicemail greetings should be professional, but the structure can vary depending on the situation. Here's a sample voicemail greeting script: "Hello, you've reached [name] at [company]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. Leave your name and number, and I'll return your call as soon as I'm free. Thank you.".

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Website: https://weirdomatic.com/weird-and-funny-answering-machine-messages-thatll-make-you-laugh.html

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Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... Don't even think about it! Don't!

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Professional voicemail greetings for work can be critical for giving your business a good level of credibility. By using one of our ready-made messages, you can save yourself time and impress the other party.

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You’ve reached the general mailbox for Case Manufacturing. We are located in Fort Worth at 600 Everman Parkway, just East of I-35 in the Worth Industrial Park. Our office is open to serve you Monday through Friday from 8 am until 5 pm. For more information on our products and manufacturing capabilities, visit Case Manufacturing Inc dot com. Our website also allows you to request a quote and place your orders online. All other inquiries, please leave a message, and we will return your call as soon as possible.

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