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Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm so depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, Gosh how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.

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Now, as far as i can tell, my Dad has never sent a text msg in his life. He's been retired for 10+ years and he loves to talk on the phone to friends and loved ones for hours. He has no reason to text. I also wouldn't put him into a general category when it comes to dad jokes. Meaning he might not have enjoyed this as much as I. So, after much deliberation I decided to welcome my Dad to the world of SMS the only way I felt was appropriate to the relationship we share.
I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message. .

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7. Could you suggest some voicemail greetings, I’m all out. It would be better if you left it to me as a message after the beep.
So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas or home phone. My ass and I are out for a walk.

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Website: https://cellphones.lovetoknow.com/cell-phone-guides-how-tos/great-quotes-leave-voicemail
20. Hi, you’ve reached [your name]’s phone. I’m busy making deals or rock climbing [replace with your personal hobbies], so leave your contact information and a brief message so I can call you back when I have a free moment.

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06Hi, you’ve reached the offices of [your company/name]. I will be out of the office between [dates] and [date]. You can reach me on my private cell [your number] if this is an emergency. Alternatively, you can call me when I get back to the office or leave a brief message.

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I really liked your script. I am looking for ideas for our ringless voicemail script and this was a great inspiration.

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    On Air Recordings recommends you order professional voicemail greetings through their site, then describe the tone, approach, or voice direction you’re going for.

    Leave your name, number and text message after beeping.Oh, please wait for me to call you back.Bye.Hello...My name is the fridge (your name.He/she is not at home to answer your call now.To leave a message for him/her, speak very slowly so I can leave a message with the help of these fridge magnets.
    With a good voicemail message that lets people know who you are and what they need to do to contact you, you can return the

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    5. Voicemail Greetings For Vacation. As mentioned above, alerting callers that they won’t be getting an immediate call back is of upmost importance for an entity’s reputation and a caller’s satisfaction.

    Voice Spice is a free online voice recorder and message sharing site. You can record a message, morph your voice, then share your it with others via Facebook, Twitter, Gmail and more!
    When your small business is closed, ensure that your callers know that! If appropriate, you might want to reiterate your business hours to manage callback expectations.

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    Website: https://funnypng.blogspot.com/2019/03/funny-answering-machine-greetings-mp3.html

    Yes, I agree. It’s sad. But writing is a solitary activity, and I’m more of a people person. Even if the other person isn’t on the other end of the phone, it’s still nice to have someone to chat with. : )
    I would be more than happy to discuss your project and your budget, together we can come up with a plan that works for everyone. Budgets and negotiation are often part of the business world.

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    This spam showcases around voicemail phishing Vishingwhich is a type of scam done through Voicemails. I want to be your best friend until I am too old to remember.

    Now, here's where the embedded commands begin. I don't know if you've ever heard of Neurolinguistic Programming, NLP. I'm no Ninja at it, but I've learned a little bit about it through the years and if you can embed commands that aren't direct commands, not explicit, I'm commanding you to do this, but a subtle statement of a thing that embeds as a command to your subconscious mind, it can have an influencing effect on the other person.
    On the other hand, a stellar professional voicemail is more than just a way to ensure callers are heard. It’s actually a gateway to encourage recruiters, clients, connections, venders, and other callers to continue forward with the first step in developing a business relationship, which is them making contact. The power of the right voicemail greeting is the caller actually staying on the line to leave that contact information or gain access to an alternative contact point.

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Website: https://saraharpminter.org/answer/funny-answering-machine-messages-audio-files

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This is a true story: my friend's voicemail says, "Hi, you've reached Dave, I'm screening your call." My friend is a recent college graduate, currently searching for a job. While your best friends might think it's funny, anyone else will see a message like this for what it is: unnecessarily rude.

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Reality is usually better than anything I could make up. Here is a voice message received by one of my readers. (I bleeped out the sales rep’s phone number).

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hi you've reached the home of (name) also known as 007 agents if you get this machine we are probably saving the world this tape will self destruct in 5...4...3...2...1... (BEEP)

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