I've assembled this list in mid-nineties from the messages that people were emailing around. As far as I know, the author of this list is unknown.
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Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it.
But it appears I’m not alone. Here’s a portion of one reader’s letter; see whether you relate!
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Oh, one more thing;Where do you say you live?Hi.I need some money if this is my parents.If this is my friend, I will give you your money.If this is a hot girl, don't listen to what I said before.
Website: https://linkedphone.com/blog/professional-business-voicemail-greetings-scripts-examples-for-business/
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If this were the best of all possible worlds, I could come to the phone right now, but I can't, so if you could leave your name and number, I'd appreciate it.
Looney Tunes No Hang-ups No Hang ups Chick Hearn Telephone Answering Tape At the sound of the beep Every Excuse In the Book FurmanNet Matthew Furman Silly answering machine silly greetings messages funny answering machine greetings comedy answering machine silly voicemail silly voice mail novelty greetings funny messages for answering machines
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She’s rolling down the window; oh man I think she sprayed him with pepper spray. His hands are on his face and he’s on his knees. She’s getting out and beating him with an umbrella.
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Hello. I'm not at home right now because I'm out making changes in my life so leave a message and if I don't call you back, you're probably one of those changes. (BEEP)
Hello. Thank you for contacting [Business Name]. Unfortunately, we are not currently available at the moment. Our regular office hours are Monday through Friday, 8 am to 4 pm, closed during the weekend. Please leave a message along with your name and number, and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible.
"John, this is Mark from Pinnacle. I've been working with Steve at JKY industries and It's urgent that I talk to you. You can reach me at 123 (pause 2 seconds) 456 (pause 1-2 second) 7890. That number again is 123.....456.....7890." Hangup.
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Home » Lists » 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages
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40 Voicemail Greetings & Phone Message Templates [Business, Funny, Professional] Nowadays most people rely on their phones so much that it’s basically become a part of our lifestyle. They used to be just a device which can be used to talk and communicate verbally.
Other jokes and witty lines can be recorded for your callers that may bewilder a silence after the tone, or you might get to hear laughs that started before the beep, or you might throw someone off into the old routine of “What?…Hello?…Are you–Is this?…Am I leaving a message?” But you want fresh ideas. You can borrow mine to entertain your callers. Let me know their reactions. This one sounds like you are a corporation that has several operators who are busy with a large volume of calls. Includes elevator muzak and sound effects. Welcome. Due to a large volume of calls, all of our operators are busy. Please hold for the next available operator. (Music) Our operators are still busy. Please stay on the line while your call is being transferred to the Voice recording database. (connection) Infomercial that sells your messages in a rushed and enthusiastic manner. Borrowed the “complicated payment” from Mitch Hedburg.
I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine? Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe you don't really exist. One way to find out is to leave a message, and if it's reality, I will call you back.
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You may hold or leave a message at the beep. Michael has over 30 years of executive call center and answering service experience. He is a successful business owner and lead generation expert and shares tips to help other entrepreneurs build and grow their business through leads generation and lead capture solutions. His mission is to share carefully guarded marketing tips that will help small-medium business compete on a smaller budget. Your email address will not be published.
“This is Roxie. If you’re receiving this message, I’m probably in the linen closet, rolling on sheets and towels. Try my other phone. If you get my voicemail on that one, I’m probably in the linen closet, rolling on sheets and towels. Stop bothering me.”
Website: http://soundcommunication.holdcom.com/bid/67458/Personal-vs-Business-Voicemail-Greetings
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6. Full Waiting Queue Message. What the caller hears when the waiting queue is full. Sample Scripts: “We are currently experiencing high call volume. Please leave a message with your name and phone number and we will return your call as soon as possible.”
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A relatively unprofessional one — like mine, for instance — does the opposite: It encourages prospects, recruiters, and potential connections to run in the other direction.
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Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone …
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What kind of company do you run? A law firm may prefer more formal business voicemail greetings than a trendy retail store, for example.
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Crafting the perfect voicemail greeting is not as easy as it may seem at first glance, depending on the type of greeting: Business, funny, professional, formal, and informal, you need. Below, we’ve included some tips in creating the perfect voicemail greeting. Go over them, then when you complete your final voicemail script, revisit these tips again to make certain you’ve covered all the bases.
Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.
Brought to you by Best Answering Service. This is a magic voicemail message. Leave a message. Leave a message at the beep. Oh, here it is. Hi, thanks for calling. If you need to reach me right away call my personal line as purposefully leave of one numberthat Hi, I am available to the phone right now but I take the calls in order of importance. You may hold or leave a message at the beep.
Hi, you’ve reached (name)’s answering machine. He/she is not in right now, but I’m totally open for suggestions.
4. The Millennial Greeting. We don’t call anymore, text. Seriously? You’re calling, again? Can everything you have to say be condensed in a text message? Hello, this is [insert name].
Our Favorite Funny Voicemail Greetings . 1. Elvis Presley Rocks Your Voicemail. Elvis appeared in 31 films, performed in 1,156 U.S. concerts and has sold more than a billion albums since the 1950’s. Why not bring his iconic voice to your personal voicemail to entertain your callers? Elvis Presley Voicemail Recording. To the tune of "Jailhouse
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48. Hello, you’ve reached [name] at [company name]. If you need help with [X reason], please contact [X person/X system] or [visit our website at X and send us an email]. For all other inquiries, please leave your name, phone number, and a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.
Moving on. I asked them to tell us not just about their house in their message, but their situation. I invite them to at least open the door and describing whether or not this is an inherited property or a road old rental property or what have you. Obviously they can choose whether they want to include that at all or how much they want to say about it, but at least asking for it makes sense to me.
Hi. This is David. I’ve shut the ringers off on my phones and taken a sedative. As soon as I finish this recording I’m going to bed indefinitely. When I wake up I’ll play my messages. Please leave one.
16. Hi, you’ve reached [X Business Name]. Our regular business hours are [State opening hours]. If you need to reach someone immediately, please call [contact’s name] at [cell phone number]. If not, leave your name and contact information and a representative will get back to you when we re-open.
Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone. Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible. This is Chris. This is his refrigerator.Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers:.
30. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m currently out of the office and will return on [X date]. If your call requires urgent attention, please call [Name] at [phone number] and they’ll be happy to assist you. If not, leave a message and I’ll return your call when I get back.
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How about I call you around… beep. Hello… pause.Are you bored of listening, as well as recording standard voice-mail messages in your answering machine?
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Keep in mind that to enjoy the full benefits of your professional greeting system, you must routinely check and delete messages. If your voicemail fills up, you won’t be able to receive new messages, meaning your customers will become frustrated.
There is no question that people talk about unexpected situations more than expected situations. The will example will certainly prove my point.
46. Hello, you’ve reached [name], [job title] at [company]. I’m currently away from my desk or on another call. Please leave a detailed message so I can return your call as soon as I get back.
Website: https://www.voicemail-greetings.com/000-selection-of-voicemail-greetings.html
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Hi this is ____'s machine. My name is (pause) well that's not important. (Pause) Ya know it gets very lonely being here all day. (Pause) maybe you could stay and talk. (Pause) please talk to me after the beep, please talk to me after the beep ........... BEEP!!!!!!!!!!!
Funny Voice Mail Greetings - Phone Message Downloads The following audio collection contains funny, bizarre, and sometimes down right strange greetings that will be a sure fire hit with your caller. Expect lots of laughs when you add these hilarious and unusual answering ringtone audio messages to personalize your mobile and home phone.
It is true, the people we want the most, we have to live without. Saying goodbye to you is such a crazy thing! Promise me this is not the end of everything. Thank you!
Save Time by Building Phone Greeting and Voicemail Scripts. Most advanced cloud call center software offer a variety of phone greetings and voicemail types that can be customized according to the needs of your business.. Effective customized greetings are integral to call center success. The greetings and voicemail messages that callers hear when they connect with your call center set the tone
Ha..Ha..Ha.. I like this so much because it is funny. Here use this infographic services I am sure you will like this.
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Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – Where Freedom Rings!]. You’ve reached us outside of business hours. Please select from one of the following options: [for business hours press 1; to leave a message press 2; if this is an emergency, press 0 to be directed to our 24-hour customer success team.] We are grateful for your call and we look forward to speaking with you soon!
6. Hello, this is [your name] at [your company]. I am unavailable at the moment, but please leave your name, number, and the reason you’re calling, and I’ll call you back as soon as possible.
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Hello. I'm not at home right now because I'm out making changes in my life so leave a message and if I don't call you back, you're probably one of those changes. (BEEP)
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Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.
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I think that's hilarious! Hope that helps! This is not a voicemail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you and I'll think about returning your call. I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember.
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Categories Additional Voicemail Scripts Business Voicemail Greetings Download the Rate Price PDF Free Voicemail Greeting Scripts General How do I create a custom voicemail greeting? How do I set a custom voicemail greeting on my Android phone? How do I set a custom voicemail greeting on my iPhone? Mailbox Greetings On-Hold Messages Welcome Messages What is a good business voicemail greeting?
The invention of the smart phone changed the use and perception of telephone calls. Not only did mobile phones make home phones unnecessary for many, but the ability to send and receive text messages or emails on a smart phone made calls themselves feel unnecessary. Even in many workplaces, answering the phone is now either impossible due to nonstop time demands or discouraged by company cultures that prioritize digital communication. Whereas calls once stood out as important and sometimes fun, more people find them time-consuming and frustrating.
Read this little explanation and then listen to the voicemail. You just have to laugh with the guy.
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