Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
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Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages. Semper Fi. Leave your order after the beep. You know what I hate about voicemail messages? They go on and on and on, wasting your time. No more. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me! I promise.
Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it! Corny jokes like this don't work anymore...and won't work in your voicemail greeting. Saying things like, "Hello, you've reach the machine that lives inside Mark's cell phone. Leave a message and I'll tell him!" are really unappealing and aren't even funny.
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"Uh...had a slight weapons malfunction. But, uh, everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here...now...thank you. How are you?" cromagnon, May 26, 2003 Joined: Jul 27, 2002 Messages: 1,463 You have reached the room of Matt and Brad. I am busy throwing Brad out the window (scream, quickly diminishing), so please leave a message. We had to try about 6 times before we didn't laugh while making it. Our RA came in and asked if everything was alright from my screaming.
1. Funny Answering Greeting from Seinfeld. Back in 1997, Seinfeld’s character, George Costanza, attempts to avoid a breakup call from his girlfriend and we hear his comical outgoing machine recording.
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A good cell phone voice mail greeting is clear, courteous and to the point. Enunciate, don't mumble, to make it as easy as possible for those with poor hearing or bad connections to be able to hear your greeting. Be polite, and save swearing for the conversation, if applicable.
5. The Urgency + Mystery Combo. Once you’ve gotten the basics of those last four scripts, you can combine examples to get even more creative.
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5. Business Answering Service Messages. These business answering messages can be edited to fit any type of business. It is important to anticipate what your callers may want to know even if the callers are not able to get anyone on the phone.
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This is not an answering machine–this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.
Hi you've reached the home of (name) also known as 007. If you get this machine I am probably saving the world. This tape will self destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
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“Hi! You have reached [your business]. All of our staff are currently busy helping other callers. We understand how valuable your time is, and rather than keeping you on hold, we will make sure to call you back.Be sure to leave us a detailed message with your name and number. We will return your call within two business hours. Thanks!”
Funny Voicemail Messages That’ll Tickle Your Callers’ Funny Bone. • Hi. This is John – If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money.
Selection of pre-recorded phone greetings and on hold messages: In order to select your desired phone message, please follow steps 1,2 and 3 in order . Our pre-recorded message packages are available in all common audio formats (mp3 / wave / alaw / ulaw / 16bit / 18bit). Special audio formats are also available at no extra cost.
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Transfer a new answering message to your cell phone over the Internet with great sound quality. Find funny phone messages on PhoneMessage.com and transfer them to your cell phone for free.
4. Voicemail greetings for calls received after business hours. You don’t want to answer calls 24/7 (unless you’re serving clients globally and there’s an expectation of 24/7 support).
For example, a voice mail message appointment reminder call might say the following: “Ms. Smith, Fluffy’s next veterinary appointment at [name of practice] is on Monday the 12th at 1:00. Please respond to the email we are sending you now to confirm the appointment.”
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“Ummm… uh, listen carefully. I, I have only 10 seconds to explain to you how to leave a message on one of these machines. Now… now, the first step is, is the most important step there is. What, what you’ve gotta do is ummm… and, and, and, and, uh… well.”
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2. "Hi, you've reached [name] at [company]. If you need a quick response, please shoot me an email at [insert email address] and I'll be in touch by EOD tomorrow. If it's not urgent, leave me a message with your name and number. Have a great day."
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“I’m not able to get to the phone in spite of the fact that I’m able to climb mountains, water ski, and play a saxophone. So, please leave me your message, and I’ll get to you soon. Thanks for calling.”
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It's 2013. Do we still need to talk about voicemail messages on cell phones? When was the last time you checked your inbox? When was the last time you left a message?? 7 Audio eGreeting Cards You Can Send Year-Round July 24, 2012 Juli Durante customer experience, branding, greetings
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Keep in mind that short greetings are often much better then trying to say way too much that could confuse your callers. Some pointers to ask, “please leave your name and number”, or maybe ask them to go your business website to contact you by email, or even as simple as text.
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Voicemails can give an important message or inform the caller about the receiver’s status. Thus, it is important for you to be clear while recording such messages. Here are a few examples of voicemail greetings to get an idea about appropriate messages that can be recorded the next time you leave your house or desk.
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6. Hey, sorry I missed you. There may be one of the reasons why I can’t get to the phone: a) I’m with my girl (laugh), b) I am totally wasted and can’t remember how to use a phone, or c) I just don’t wanna talk to YOU.
Chances are that you have a voicemail. A landline or a cellphone usually comes standard with the option for a personal greeting. Below are some original and humorous recordings of voice messages for your mobile or immobile phone. There are plenty of other funny ideas, but we’ve seen them or heard them before. For instance, the “Hello” and pause effect- the prank is more amusing for the listener because you don’t get to hear them throughout their confusion until after the beep. A rarer one was a philosophical answering machine that I found rather witty:
Aside from the fact that we can't substantiate a bit of this, of course, the one thing that seems fishy to me is that he's able to not only pick out that she hit him with a Bible (which, depending on his vantage point, I guess he could see - or at least think he sees), but he's able to say which version of the Bible it is. That's awfully odd to me.
No4: Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
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#8 “Hey this is Bryan, sorry that I couldn’t make it to my phone in time or that I’m on the other line. I’ll get back to you when I can. Unless the reason i didn’t pick up was because I was just in an accident or dropped my phone in the toilet. Then you might never hear from me. But trust me, there is a good reason I’m not picking up. Leave a message!”
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A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future....
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3. Business Voicemail Greetings. Hello, you've reached the Sales Department at [X company]. We can't take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and the reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours.
7. "Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and the reason you'd like to chat, and I'll get back to you ASAP.
I am not home to talk to you, But please don't be a creep. Just leave your name and number, At the sound of the...
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Learn how your comment data is processed. We guarantee that Ninja Number will help grow your business. January 25, So leave a message. Please leave a message after my kid stops awkward moment of silence owwwwwwwwwww that hurt!
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There is no question that people talk about unexpected situations more than expected situations. The will example will certainly prove my point.
13. "Hello, you've reached [company]. If you're looking for information on [X], please check out our [Facebook page, company website, etc.] If you want to know more about [Y], take a look at [Z page on our site, our YouTube channel, etc.] Still have more questions, or just want to chat with our team? Leave your name and number, and we'll return your call straight away."
A word of warning: These greetings will not do you any favors if you're in the midst of a job hunt or work in a conservative industry. Always remember your target personas. If there's a chance they won't appreciate your sense of humor, opt for a straightforward greeting instead.
Hey, who’s this? I’d actually pick up, but my phone is staring at me. OMG! I just saw it wink!
A general voicemail greeting is what callers will be greeted with if you are unable to answer the phone at work. It is the everyday greeting, used as the default, unless you have set up a temporary greeting, such as an away message while you're on vacation, or a special message during a holiday.
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Good voicemail greetings should include your name and/or company, your reason for missing the call or an apology, and instructions for leaving a message. How to Turn Your Customer Complaints into Business Benefits 50% of Business Owners Over 50 Back Trump's National Emergency Declaration How Zoho Bookings Helps Your Business Grow Square Seller Fees Stay Consistent as PayPal, Venmo Raise Rates Sponsored by Square Use Emojis in your Business Communications? Than Check Out These! How Can Your Alma Mater Help Your Small Business? Annie Pilon is a Senior Staff Writer for Small Business Trends, covering entrepreneur profiles, interviews, feature stories, community news and in-depth, expert-based guides. When she’s not writing she can be found on her personal blog Wattlebird, and exploring all that her home state of Michigan has to offer. Small Business Trends is an award-winning online publication for small business owners, entrepreneurs and the people who interact with them. Our mission is to bring you "Small business success, delivered daily."
Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world's first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath.
There is a difference between business and personal voicemail content. In this slide presentation will learn useful tips in developing and recording both types of voice greetings. The Making of a Professional Cell Phone Voicemail Greeting September 27, 2011 Katie Devlin resources, tips, greetings
Below are some of the best clean funny answering machine (voicemail) messages! Want to know the best part? You can try using them in your answering machine or voice mailbox life.
Hi! You've reached Janet and Chris's room. We're not in right now. If this is our parents, we're at the library studying. Yeah, yeah, that's it, that's the ticket. If this is John, Chris is out with the girls at the party. Yeah, that's it. If this is any one else, we're at a party and you're not. Yeah, a party with the president. Yeah and the, the, the Pope. Yeah that's it.
A funny voicemail greeting is one of those things that seems like a good idea...until you hear it time and time again. For business and professional life, funny voicemail greetings just doesn't make sense. If you're expecting an important call, or trying to impress someone you certainly won't... 5 Steps to Creating an Audio eGreeting Card December 06, 2011 Juli Durante marketing, tips, greetings
Funny pre-recorded voice mail and answering machine messages. Custom Voice Greetings Personal voice greetings custom made just for you. Create your custom greeting through our business section. Dazzle your friends and callers with a professional voice greeting customized just for you. Or make them laugh with a funny pre-recorded voice greeting!
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4. 605–475–6964: Things could actually be worse. This is one of the best dial a joke phone numbers. Read also. Sign her already: Reactions as 18-year-old Nigerian lady dribbles men on football pitch in viral video.
3. (858) 651-5050: Beautiful phrases. When looking for random phone numbers to call, it does not get funkier than this one. Dialing this line allows you to listen to what sounds like the most well-thought poem ever written.
43. Hello, this is [X company]. We’re not able to take your call at the moment, but please leave a brief message so we can get back to you shortly.
Voicemails don’t necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you’re looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever I call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells me a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, you’ve got to put a little bit of “you” when it comes to voicemail. And the best part about all of this is, since you couldn’t come to the phone, at least the callers are having a good time listening to the message.
"Hey it's _____, and it's either I'm ignoring your call or I really can't get to the phone. Leave a message."
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. The new number is Yes, same number.
