seven best business voicemail greetings
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Website: https://digitalcitizen.ca/2010/01/03/some-lyrics-for-singing-voice-mail-messages/

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“Yo, this is Leon. If you’re calling about scoring some catnip — oops, I mean ‘you know what,’ meow twice in your message. If you’re calling about ear-cleaning services, meow once. Or maybe meow once for ‘you know what’ and twice for ear cleaning. I don’t remember. Maybe don’t leave a message and we’ll psychically connect. OK? Cool.”
Voicemail Script #7: The Friendly Script. If you want to get a callback that will make your day, you need to be enthusiastic and sound exciting. The prospect might be enchanted to listen to your voicemail till the end. Here’s an example of a sales voicemail script with a … .

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7. Could you suggest some voicemail greetings, I’m all out. It would be better if you left it to me as a message after the beep.

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No3: Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
Website: https://www.amazingvoice.com/blog/10-best-professional-voicemail-greetings

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28. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I can’t come to the phone right now, probably because I’ve just stepped away from my desk, but possibly because I’m trapped under something heavy. Leave a message and I’ll call you back within one business day — and if I don’t, please send help.

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2. The Simpsons Share a Funny Answering Greeting. If you’re looking for a short and simple message, we suggest turning to Homer Simpson as he tells callers to… leave a message.

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    C'mon. You can do it. Just a little one. That's the way. Just a little beep, just a little one. C'mon. Good boy. Here we go. Like this: beeeeep. Just a little one, beeeeeeeeeep. C'mon. There you go!

    Seems a bit long but should definitely screen out those not truly interested and there’s always the option to press #. I’m going to split test this with my next mailing.
    What you need to record creative and funny voicemail greetings. Creative voicemail greetings are a terrific engagement and personalization tool for business. But to make them work, you need a business phone system that makes …

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    14. Hi, you’ve reached [business name]. We can’t take your call at the moment, but if you leave your name and number, the next available team member will return your call as soon as possible.

    Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
    Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it.

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    4. “What the hell do you want?” Well, this statement can be mistaken if you are having a bad day, but it will sound humorous if you answer your phone call with this.

    No43: You have reached the offices of the planet Zarton. All our agents are busy undermining the governments of the Earth and cannot come to phone at the moment. However, your name and number can be left at the tone and a representative will gladly contact you shortly to arrange for your assimilation into the new order. Long groblint the ultimate blenstron.
    You might not be the kind of person who wants customers to go through long voicemails. If that sounds like you, here are a couple of short and sweet voicemail greetings that you can use to get your message across!

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    When unable to answer the phone, a voicemail message can be important. Below are examples of what to say in a voicemail message. Whether recording the message for a personal phone or a business line, these ideas will help.

    When you leave a voicemail do not use your full name because that immediately raises a red flat that you are a salesperson making a cold call. Instead, say your first name only followed by your company name. This will make your customer feel that you are much more familiar with each other than you really are. Saying your last name would defeat the whole purpose of demonstrating familiarity.
    Hi, this is Ed. I'm secretly replacing Jane and Bob with dark sparkling Folger's Crystals. Leave your name, number, and a brief message and they'll call you back when they're nice and percolated. See if you can tell the difference.

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Whether you’re out for the day or are off for the week, the first rule of an out of office voicemail greeting is: let callers know when you’ll be back! You’ll save them the frustration of continuing to call and yourself the hassle of listening to redundant voicemails. It’s also a good idea to set the expectation of whether you are answering messages while you’re away, and who they can reach for assistance in your absence.

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Now, here's where the embedded commands begin. I don't know if you've ever heard of Neurolinguistic Programming, NLP. I'm no Ninja at it, but I've learned a little bit about it through the years and if you can embed commands that aren't direct commands, not explicit, I'm commanding you to do this, but a subtle statement of a thing that embeds as a command to your subconscious mind, it can have an influencing effect on the other person.

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Creating a voicemail greeting might not be fun, but with the scripts I’ve shared, you should have an easier time. No need to practice time and time again — simply plug in your name, company title, and other details, then read it out loud to your phone’s voicemail greeting recorder. With a professional greeting, you’ll continue nurturing prospects even if you don’t pick up the phone.

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Please be advised that these messages are posted here because I thought they was amusing and I thought that others might enjoy them also. If you are one of the people that left one of these messages and are offended by seeing it here just let me know and I'll take it down.

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