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Laugh your socks off at funny jokes, funny quotes, funny memes and funny YouTube videos. Art & EntertainmentAutomobilesBeauty & FashionGadgets & GizmosHealth & FitnessHome & LivingParenting & FamilySocietyTravelQuotes Fun voicemail messages are an interesting way to infuse some humor and wit in your day-to-day activities. Check out some very interesting voicemail greetings that we have provided for you.
Then Chuck Norris will hand you over my script. Totally serious. Just try it. šŸ˜€ .

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The point of a voicemail greeting is to encourage your callers to leave a message. More often than not, and this is becoming more evident every day, people are just hanging up and assuming the receiver will call back. On the other hand, funny voicemail greetings keep people on the phone longer.
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8. 605ā€“475ā€“6973: Quit complaining. Do you know someone who is perpetually complaining about their high-class problems? Whining and groaning, inconsiderately?
But this time, why not try something different? Instead of keeping such serious messages, let us have some interesting and funny greetings. Keeping such hilarious greetings will not only make you feel good, but your callers will also enjoy listening to them.

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Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm so depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, Gosh how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.

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Youā€™ve worked hard on yourĀ application. Youā€™ve double- and triple-checked forĀ spelling errors and you know you are a perfect fit for this job. Youā€™veĀ followed upĀ on your application and made such a great impression that the employer decides they want to call you in for an interview. You are checking your phone, anxiously awaiting the callā€¦but nothing seems to happen.

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    If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touchtone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touchtone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system. 13. [Very fast] Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message

    Hi, youā€™ve reached (name)ā€™s answering machine. He/she is not in right now, but Iā€™m totally open for suggestions.
    You may hold or leave a message at the beep. Michael has over 30 years of executive call center and answering service experience. He is a successful business owner and lead generation expert and shares tips to help other entrepreneurs build and grow their business through leads generation and lead capture solutions. His mission is to share carefully guarded marketing tips that will help small-medium business compete on a smaller budget.

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    With a good voicemail message that lets people know who you are and what they need to do to contact you, you can return the

    Using humor is appropriate in some situations, but humor should be avoided in situations including serious businesses where reputations could be damaged or people could become upset. Both funny and sincere examples are included for a variety of options. These answering machine messages are the type that most people leave. These can be used for non-business or personal phones. Hi, you've reached ___-____. Please leave a message and I'll get back with you soon. Thanks. You know what to do. Thanks for calling. Just leave a message and weā€™ll get back with you. Weā€™re sorry we canā€™t answer the phone right now, but we would love to get back with you as soon as we can. Just let us know what we can help you with and leave a number for us to get back with you soon. You've reached the voice mail of ______. I'm either away from my phone or talking with someone else. Leave me a message and I'll be happy to return your call. Hi. I must be away from my phone at the moment. Please leave me a message. I'll get back to you. These business answering messages can be edited to fit any type of business. It is important to anticipate what your callers may want to know even if the callers are not able to get anyone on the phone. It's always a good idea to let callers know exactly when their calls may be returned and to list the operating hours.
    January 19, Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers: No one answers phone calls anymore; send me a text.

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    Nov 11, 2019 - Explore maru's board "funny voicemail" on Pinterest. See more ideas about voicemail, funny, voicemail greeting.

    Website: https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/08/169685/songs-with-voicemails-playlist
    Free 7-Day Trial. Funny Voicemails. Are you looking for something to stir things up a bit? Funny voicemail messages are an excellent alternative for people that are looking for that unique touch for something that seems really mundane. If youā€™re having trouble coming up with your own then you can check out some of the funny voicemail messages

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    Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone. Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous!

    To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we donā€™t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzes reviews to verify trustworthiness. After viewing product detail pages, look here to find an easy way to navigate back to pages you are interested in. Careers Blog About Amazon Sustainability Press Center Investor Relations Amazon Devices Sell products on Amazon Sell apps on Amazon Become an Affiliate Become a Delivery Driver Start a package delivery business Advertise Your Products Self-Publish with Us Host an Amazon Hub ā€ŗSee More Ways to Make Money Amazon Rewards Visa Signature Cards Amazon.com Store Card Amazon Secured Card Amazon Business Card Amazon Business Line of Credit Shop with Points Credit Card Marketplace Reload Your Balance Amazon Currency Converter Amazon and COVID-19 Your Account Your Orders Shipping Rates & Policies Amazon Prime Returns & Replacements Manage Your Content and Devices Amazon Assistant Help EnglishChoose a language for shopping. United StatesChoose a country/region for shopping. Conditions of UsePrivacy NoticeInterest-Based AdsĀ© 1996-2021, Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates Hi you reached your name and Iā€™m not here. Leave a message.. BEEP.. Seconds later say ā€œHAHA, that was a fake beep created by my mouth. I fooled you good!ā€ A is for A, B is for Beer, C is for C, D is for Drunk. Call me back in 48 hours when Iā€™m R for Recovered! A is for apple, B is for beer and that may be why Iā€™m not here. Leave a message. Alright listen, Iā€™m on one line with my girlfriend and her best friend on the other. Leave a message and if you promise to not tell either of them that Iā€™m a player, Iā€™ll call you back. Back in MY DAY we didnā€™t use answering machines. We used jumbo sized devices to take messages for us. Those we called ā€œAnswering Machinesā€ and I just realized.. I sound like an idiot! Bob is currently in the shower. Heā€™s there an hour per day. I wonder what the heck he does in that time. Oh well, probably plays with himself. Help me.. HELP ME!! My wife wants me in bed. PLEASE CALL 911!!!! HURRY!!! AHHHHH!!! Hi this is Bobā€™s answering machine and I will need a few things from you. #1 is your full name including middle name. #2 is your address including postal code. #3 is your credit card number with the 3 digit security code on the back. Thereā€™s a porn site I want to join and I donā€™t want to use my moms information. Hi you have reached Bob and Iā€™m not interested in having my grass cut, buying new windows or installing new doors. Hi youā€™ve reached Bob. If you want to leave a message press 1. If you want to leave a message about how sexy I am, press 2. If you have the wrong number, press 9. As you already can tell, the number pressing doesnā€™t do anything. I did all this just to feel.. cool.. Hi, I am Bobā€™s answering machine and heā€™s pissing me off. Everyday he changes his messages and Iā€™m sick of all the button pressing he does. If you come over, can you please take me? I need a new owner who doesnā€™t push buttons! Hi, I understand how annoying long messages can be. Why do people always waste so much time talking about crap? Well Iā€™m with you on this one. I canā€™t stand people who leave long messages talking about nothing useful. Why canā€™t they just get to the point? All they have to say is ā€œHey Iā€™m not here cause Iā€™m doing important stuff. Leave a message!ā€ Anyways I kept this message short. Leave one after the beep. Hi, Iā€™m in the process of getting married. Why canā€™t the priest operate as quick as a microwave? Less than 5 minutes or your money back! Hi, Iā€™m not interested in answering your call right now but my voicemail is. Leave one! Hi, if youā€™re a telemarketer give me your number and Iā€™ll call you back. What, you donā€™t want me to call you back? Now you know how I feel! Hi, my name is the answering machine and I record messages in your very own authentic voice. Would you like to increase the size of your penis? I sell those too! Hi, this is Bobā€™s voicemail and heā€™s on vacation. Heā€™s in the Caribbean partying with all the tourists. If you like you can rob his place and I wonā€™t say a word! Hi, youā€™ve reached the pizza delivery guy and Iā€™m trying to make a delivery but am stuck waiting for the train to go by for the 10th time. This customer gets me every time! I had the phone ringing in my hand but was too lazy to answer it. Leave a message. If you are a male, keep your voice and say you are a female. Hi, this is Bobā€™s girlfriend. I drove him in debt and took his phone. Leave a message and if you sound rich & sexy, youā€™ll hear back! If youā€™re calling for Bob, press 1. If you are calling for Greg, press 2. Hey I have some news for you, thereā€™s no Greg at this number. HAHA I lied to you! You got fooled pretty good! Iā€™m pretty drunk & unstable. I think my hands are vibrating. How am I going to hold my next drink without spilling it?? PLEASE TELL ME!! Iā€™m probably too lazy to answer. Leave a message and Iā€™ll call back. If you donā€™t hear from me, then itā€™s cause I donā€™t like you! Keep your original voice Hi, Iā€™m Katie and.. Who did I say I was? Oh man, I gotta keep off the Viagra! Make sound effects with your mouth. Yo Yo Yo.. This is Bob whoā€™s here to make the save. You want to talk to me but I will be charging a fee. Leave a message so I can make enough for a massage! Oh no.. Youā€™re calling.. Someone.. please pull my plug!!! Hello.. anyone there?? NOOOOOOā€¦ Oh wicked, I finally got an answering machine. YAY! Now how do you work this thing? Letā€™s see.. To record message, press the REC button. Alright, where the heck is the REC button? Someone else says out loud Bob you moron, itā€™s right here and you already pressed it! Then you say Ahh crap! Sorry I donā€™t answer the phone or check my messages but if you are calling to donate me money, leave a message and Iā€™ll call you back within seconds. Sorry I missed your call. Iā€™m probably running away from the wife. Sheā€™s in one of those moods.. AGAIN! This is Bob and I just picked up the best answering machine in the world. The recordings are in high quality. Leave a message now so I can listen to it in 5.1 surround sound! Yo, this is Bob coming to you from the rave, never knowing when to behave. I can rhyme within time and you should leave one before I win a ton! If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone. Funny Joker : I love funny jokes which is probably why I own this very funny jokes website :-) The jokes here are NOT work friendly, you've been warned. Recent Jokes Money Jokes Monster Jokes Time Jokes Bus Jokes Sheep Jokes Cow Jokes Camping Jokes Burger Jokes Weather Puns Weather Jokes Cannibal Jokes Baby Jokes Dad Jokes Grand National Jokes 69 Jokes Accounting Jokes Funny Things to Say at a Drive Thru Understanding Marketing Jokes Sperm Jokes Knock Knock Jokes Free Sex Jokes Funny Bumper Stickers Love at First Sight Joke Computer Jokes Magna Carta Joke
    Rehearse or write down your message before recording it. Remember that old saying ā€œpractice makes perfect?ā€ Itā€™s certainly true when it comes to creating an electronic greeting. The more youā€™ve rehearsed, the easier the message will be to restate. If you donā€™t have time to practice, writing down the greeting before recording it ā€“ and then reading it aloud from the paper ā€“ may help you stay focused on the correct wording.

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Helloā€¦ my name is (your name)ā€™s refrigerator. He/she isnā€™t home right now to take your call. To leave him/her a message, speak very slowly so I can stick the message with the help of these refrigerator magnets.

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What you do not want to do is say your phone number so quickly that the person has to listen to your voicemail multiple times to try and figure out your phone number. We have all gotten those annoying voicemail messages where the person said their phone number so quickly that we had to listen to their message several times to figure out their phone number. Don't be that jerk who leaves their phone number so fast that the other person has to listen to your message over and over to try and figure out what your phone number is.

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1. If the reason I was calling you was to ask you what kind of music you like, this little interlude would be perfect. But let me assure you, the reason I was calling was NOT to ask you what kind of music you like.

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