When leaving your voicemail and phone number, do not say, "Please call me back at ..." Nothing sounds more like a salesperson making a cold call then saying, "please call me back at...".
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That's a common word that I use. And it includes really anything that involves, uh, a junky house, just a house that they inherited, no matter the condition, a house problem could mean the house itself or the situation. So I let the seller know we specialize in hard to sell homes and I go through a laundry list of things that that might include and yes, we can help. I want them to begin connecting me as somebody that helps people in their mind.
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I pleaded to know what was so great about this. She sweetly recalled that 'he remembered my name, he said hi, and he told me to call him back.'
Because they now know you as the contractor with the funny voicemail greeting, you already have a deeper connection with the lead than your competitors. It provides a very nice leeway into the conversation.
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No40: Hello, you've reached 344-1312, the Apartment at the End of the Universe. Please leave your message, name and number at the sound of the tone. Keep your hands, feet, extremities and obscenities inside the car at all times. Enjoy your ride.
4. Sincere and Short Voicemail Messages for Personal Use. These answering machine messages are the type that most people leave. These can be used for non-business or personal phones.
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Whoopee, a call. I wonder who this could be? No…wait…don’t tell me…Oh yeah. Sorry, you bore me.
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7. 605–475–6958: How to decide whether you are sober. Are you unable to tell whether you are drunk or sober? (that should be a hint in itself.) Feel free to enlist the help of the Sobriety Test hotline.
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Voices.com connects you with over 200,000 voice talents. The artist will send you an audition and an estimated quote to complete the work. Once you listen to all auditions, you select your talent to begin the project.
Hi! I seem to be in the room, but I can’t quite locate my phone at the moment. If you leave a message and number, I’ll ring you up whenever I find it, or if you happen to know where I left it, let me know!
Those who know me know I can hold a conversation. I love people, and my desire to share with them carries over to leaving cell phone messages. Sadly, I know better than to leave long messages, and I have no excuse, but I tend to chatter on, and on, and on, enjoying a conversation with, essentially, myself.
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The voicemail function allows the caller to leave a message in case you are busy. It informs the caller of your status and assures that the message will be heard. For instance, good voicemail greetings at corporate firms create a pleasant impression on the caller’s mind or a hilarious voicemail can make someone’s day. Parents can be assured that an urgent message will be delivered once you get access to your phone.
“This is not a voice-mail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.”
With my cell phone in my hand and her watching her show. I asked her if she could get me a beer and she said no. Then her cell phone rang in the kitchen and she quickly got up to see what it was. My message said while you're in the kitchen can you get me a beer. I don't remember the rest
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Follow Us: Some examples of professional voicemail greetings are the basic greeting, the out-of-office greeting, the time-sensitive greeting and the additional information greeting. A basic greeting is simple, standard and to the point. Here's an example using fictional personal information: "Hi, this is Adam Gordon, Senior Vice President at
19. Hi, you’ve reached [employee name]’s voicemail box. [Employee first name] no longer works for [company name]. Please call our main line at [phone number] and we’ll be happy to connect you with a current team member who can help.
"Yesterday I got home and I saw the phone machine blinking. I was so happy! I thought 'A message for me! Hooray!' "But when I listened to the tape, there was only a dial tone.
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2. What to Say in a Voicemail Message. When unable to answer the phone, a voicemail message can be important. Below are examples of what to say in a voicemail message.
If you are a burglar, then we’re probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can’t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t home and it’s safe to leave us a message.
3. 4 out of 5 people who employ this service have country music as their song of choice while I wait to be connected. It’s as if country music fans got together and said, “if only we could get 15 seconds of our music into people’s ears, they would see how amazing it is. Does anyone have a bright idea of how we could force people to listen to 15 seconds of country music?”
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-So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.-Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.-Roses are red booger’s are green please leave your message on this …
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"I totally get why some animals eat their young," Pepper said. - Author: Jamie Farrell #2. The story of life is quicker then the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello, goodbye. - Author: Jimi Hendrix #3. Say that this is real. That it counts. - Author: Cora Carmack #4. Everywhere I go, everyone I talk with, everyone I think about - their salvation is what is on my mind. I love fellowship with Christians, but I can't become preoccupied with the pleasure of fellowship when I know that sinners are sinking into hell. - Author: Kirk Cameron #5. I've taken the leap of faith to stop punching the company time clock and start working for myself. I'm now the CEO of Starfish Media Group, my production company, in New York City. - Author: Soledad O'Brien #6. Far from being an aberration that is not representative of Christianity, the persecution of heretics follows logically from the connection of faith and salvation as presented by Jesus in the Gospels. - Author: Shadia Drury #7. You're always against the clock. But really just fighting for quality. - Author: Cary Fukunaga #8. When nature calls, I don't let it go to voicemail. - Author: Nenia Campbell #9. I'm talking about science on the leading edge, where it's not clear which way things are going be cause we don't know, and I'm dealing with areas which we don't know about. - Author: Rupert Sheldrake #10. Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. - Author: Dalai Lama XIV #11. After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion. When you're married you have to cut through that. - Author: Dan Castellaneta #12. Some things are impossible. - Author: Alex Van Halen
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CF Staff, Angels and Ambassadors; ask that you join us in praying for the world in this difficult time, asking our Holy Father to stop the spread of the virus, and for healing of all affected.
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4. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
There are very few cases in which our telephone answering service would recommend having an antiquated voicemail answer your incoming calls. A Courteous Communications can recommend these 10 recordings for personal use only. Your business callers may not appreciate these voicemail recordings, but your friends and family will surely get a kick out of them.
However, some voice messages even steer individuals to contact by email for a quicker response. If you still enjoy the concept and position that a voicemail box serves, you may feel compelled to add a witty voicemail greeting to your caller. The following selection has been shared by others around the global and intended to inspire you to create your own unique humorous voicemail.
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Read Poems Contests Winners Poetry By Topics Read Quotes List of Poets Discussion Forums More Writing Tips Administration Contact Us Sign-In Name : Jayde Status : Regular Member Joined : Dec 1, 2004 Posts : 61 "I'm away, taking over the world with an army of crazed penguins. Leave a message, but it probably won't matter when the whole world has been enslaved by the Penguin Lord and I am elected the Penguin Goddess. Have a nice day." "I'm not here right now, if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone." "I am the cookie monster's secret sidekick, and as the cookie monster's secret sidekick I am required to eat all the cookies. BRB." "I'm an alien from outer space and I'm having sex with your eyeballs and you like it cuz you're smiling." If you have any more add them. I'd love to see what anyone can come up with or find. Reply Name : aaron 1 remo Status : Regular Member Joined : Nov 18, 2005 Posts : 312 ' hello...................hello..................hey who is this?............... hahahahahahaha you were just talking to a machine moron!' That was mine for quite a while untill I started to get worried messages from my nanna 'Aaron?, Aaron what happened? are you all right? did you just get mugged Aaron?!!!' Bless her Name : Italian Stallion Status : Senior Member Joined : Jun 16, 2005 Posts : 8266 "Thank you for calling 911 our offices are closed because everyone is at the donut shop....." "Greetings, this is science officer spock, currently there are no life forms avalable to take your call ...." Name : christina marie Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 8, 2005 Posts : 964 of receiving messages My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you. think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling... and I'll think about returning your call. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back. Name : melly xx Status : Regular Member Joined : May 3, 2005 Posts : 508 Name : HOLLY ARMER Status : Senior Member Joined : Apr 29, 2004 Posts : 2620 Hi, this is ________. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP Name : Void Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 12, 2005 Posts : 835 Name : Amanda Renee Status : Regular Member Joined : Feb 20, 2006 Posts : 214 my friends is as follows... it goes... Hello... and waits a couple seconds and then it says how are you doing today? and then if you reply it says good... then it waits then you ask it a couple ?? if ur like me when i heard it i answered him and well then he goes well hey i guess i better go and i was like what he goes bye and then finally he says glad i got to talk to you on my voice mail talk soon and i will call you back' About Scholarship Entertainment Scholarship About Us Contact Us Privacy Policy Terms and Conditions How Do I Create Funny Voicemail Messages? Join the Community Lakshmi Sandhana Lakshmi Sandhana Some individuals like to create funny voicemail messages for people to hear when they call.
No11: "You have called 655-9229. If you are my mom, I will write you as soon as I can, I promise. If you are my son, sorry, I am broke too. If you are a friend, leave a message after the tone. If you are a salesman...FORGET IT." No12: This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.
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I guess I’m a little like a cat in that way. I’m a call screener. If you’re my friend and you’re reading this, please understand I don’t screen your calls. Just everyone else’s.
“How do you leave an idiot in suspense? Leave a message, and I’ll get back to you… Bye!”
Mar 14, 2021 - Explore Eric Alexander's board "cell phone humor", followed by 3292 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about humor, bones funny, phone humor.
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No16: Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
3. Using Prerecorded Messages. Leave Me A Message And Wait By Your Phone Till I Can Call You Back. Hi There! Your Name Is Not Here At The Moment. How Can Someone Keep A Dork In Suspense?
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Voicemail greetings can include any information you’d wish to convey, such as special sales, bargains, alternate phone numbers to use, or your company’s normal working hours.
(Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra") Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Steve: You fool, I know it's... Wait... Matt... What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK... THUD) Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it... Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say? (Fun to leave on a friend's machine when he's away... Sounds of raptuous sex) Hi. Mike can't come to the phone right now because he's having sex. If you leave your name and number, he'll get back with you in juuust a second. (Male groan; female voice) That's it?You're in Big Trouble Hello! I'm on a four state killing spree! WATTA YA WANT? (Voice 2) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number. At the sound of the... This is 234-3249, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzeria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a message though. Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your head is full of sand, not your regular loose sand mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I dunno, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand? Well, sometimes I do. Bye. Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, somebody called while we weren't home. Watch me pull their message out of this machine! Bullwinkle: Nuthin' up my sleeve... PRESTO! (Sound of vicious dog barking, stops abruptly.) Rocky: Here's a chance for you to REALLY leave your message. (A friend was at a mutual friend's sister's house, and when she went out for beer, he changed her answering machine message. In a loud, deep, gravelly, horror-film voice he recorded) Hi, this is Kathy. I'm not myself right now. If you leave your name and number, I'll get back to you when I'm feeling better.Farewell These words are lovely dark and deep
Please leave your full name, contact details and reason for calling and I will call you back as soon as I’m back. Thanks for calling!”
A man calls wanting help with a dead, frozen, road-killed cat that someone left on his doorstep sometime during the night.
4. 605–475–6964: Things could actually be worse. This is one of the best dial a joke phone numbers. Read also. Sign her already: Reactions as 18-year-old Nigerian lady dribbles men on football pitch in viral video.
13Please repeat the captcha below [utter captcha] to confirm you are not a robot before being allowed to leave a message at [your name]’s voicemail. This is a great copy of the internet’s way of cracking down on spam and robots. Callers will be left repeating the captcha unknowingly. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you leave me a voicemail, then that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will call you. This is a classic line from the movie Taken (without the violence). Your callers will always get startled at the threat initially but will surely leave them in jitters as they drop a message in your voicemail. This is a classic trick and one that is both funny and frustrating. Watching people continue to speak as if you’re there is funny. Make sure they know when to leave a message though. You may also like 10 Great Templates: How to Say Thank You for Your Order to Customers
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Authors Topics About Contact Policy Home » Funny Voicemail Famous Quotes & Sayings Whatever mind can concieved and believe can be achieves — Napoleon Hill More Pictures » John Coffey was torn open by what he had done ... but he would live. The girls would not. They had been torn open in a more fundamental way. — Stephen King More Pictures » I like butter and the people who like butter. — Tori Amos When nature calls, I don't let it go to voicemail. — Nenia Campbell Life is a lot like skateboarding. — Lil' Wayne The Palestinians try hard to forget when they should remember.
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Greetings; Funny; Funny Voicemail Funny Voicemail sorry but nobodys available to answer you call at this time.if you'd like to leave a message please wait for the beep, then press #, then so on..great This is a free greeting. Sign in or sign up to use! Want a ringtone instead? Send it to your phone. Comments On This Greeting ( 16 ) At 6
5 hilarious voicemail greeting message ideas Sing your greeting with music. A classic funny voicemail greeting is that from George on the sitcom Seinfeld. ... Make your friends think you're on the phone with them. Pretend to answer the phone. ... Pretend to ignore their call. ... Create a rhyming greeting. ... Bring your voicemail greeting to life. ...
You can customize each greeting for each phone number within your OpenPhone account. In addition, you can change it as often as you need.
He’s running to his car, he’s out of here. She’s talking to him while he’s driving off.
We’re keeping it simple with this one. Just a few basic elements to help you get started. As long as you know who your audience is, the message you wish to convey, and the information you need from the caller, the rest should fall into place quite nicely. Let’s face it, a voicemail greeting for a lumber company will probably be different than that of a psychologist’s office. One greeting is aimed at securing potential customers, and the other is geared towards appointments, more or less. Once you are certain who your caller is, the better your voicemail. Center on your audience, first and foremost. Knowing what to relate ensures that your caller will leave the right message. For instance, if you’re a retail store, you would include your hours of operations, and perhaps any specials that you’re running. If you are a therapist’s office, then you’d need to include an alternate number in case a patient is having an issue and requires immediate help. Again, this will vary depending on the business. Here, a therapist would definitely request the caller leave their contact information. However, a retail store chain might not request that. There are also complex voicemail systems such as those used by mobile phone services, which ask you to press a certain number on your phone, where you are asked to leave your account information. Again, as you can see, it all boils down to the demographics of your callers, and what you need from them to conduct the best business possible. Depending on the situation, your caller might be in a good mood or not. In either case, they’ll probably be eagerly awaiting your call. So, it stands to reason that you only promise them a call back if you can deliver. In other words, if you’re a small shop and you’ve decided to close due to a much-needed sabbatical, then don’t leave a voicemail greeting where you promise them to call right back. However, if you have an active customer service staff, then you can promise to return their call within the same day.
Funny Voicemail Greetings. A list of various answering machine messages or messages you can use on your voice mail system. Funny Voicemail Greetings Answering Machine Messages Pa funny answering machine greetings mp3 is important information accompanied by photo and HD pictures sourced from all websites in the world.
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Hey Jake, if I wanted to email you, I would’ve emailed you. It’s not like I forgot email existed until I heard your voice mail greeting and thought “Holy crap! TOTALLY forgot about that whole email thing! Let me hang up on this phone call and waste another 5 minutes sending you an email that would have taken me 20 seconds to speak.”
22. Hello, this is [your name]. I’m currently away from my phone. I return calls on Tuesday and Friday at 10 a.m. Please leave a detailed message including your name and a callback number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.
Parodying any government or secret service agency is also a great way to create funny voicemail messages. For instance, you could say, "Thank you for calling the Slovakian Consulate. All our diplomats are out changing lightbulbs, so at the sound of the tone, please leave your details and any international secret you may have for sale." Creating funny voicemail messages that sound like they are from the mafia, the FBI, the CIA, or even the IRS can be a cool way to greet your callers when you are not available.
Obviously, I need to update it. And if you haven't changed your voicemail greeting in over a year, you're likely in the same boat.
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This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. If you don't wish this call to be monitored or recorded, then please let the answering machine know when you leave your message.
