“You know what I hate about voice-mail messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, “We aren’t in, leave a message.” That’s why, I’ve decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me. Bye!”
“Hi. This is (name). If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money. Bye!”
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No44: Steve has been captured by a flying saucer and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message, I'll have him call you back as soon as he gets away. Read all about it in next week's National Enquirer.
If you’re looking for funny voicemail messages to leave on your answering machine or cell phone, then here’s some of the best examples to try. We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself.
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Funny Voicemail Greetings. Composing these types of greetings are fun, but they aren’t applicable for some situations. You may make a funny voicemail greeting for your own personal voicemail box. However, it’s not appropriate for professional or business phones. Here are some humorous examples for you: You have reached [mention your name].
Today I've decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time. Leave a message at the beep.
Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. [Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.] OK, what would you like me to tell me?
16. Hi, you’ve reached [X Business Name]. Our regular business hours are [State opening hours]. If you need to reach someone immediately, please call [contact’s name] at [cell phone number]. If not, leave your name and contact information and a representative will get back to you when we re-open.
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Hello, (your name) summer home. Some are home, some aren’t. Leave your message at the tone.
Answering Machine Wav Sounds. Here you can find some of the funniest free answer machine messages from your favorite cartoon and movie celebrities. Download them to replace your standard answering machine message (leave a message after the tone, etc). Comical messages are a must to impress your friends on either your landline or mobile! 01 - Rap.
Greetings this is Egor… Answer 26 File size 15kb Harry Connick JR. Hi, this is… Answer 27 File size 66kb Hello, hello, oh hi… Answer 28 File size 38kb Audrey Hepburn. I’m answering this phone for my… Answer 29 File size 17kb Hello, i’m home right now but… Answer 30 File size 51kb Boris Karloff. I’m frightfully sorry…
So, I added a, you, uh, your, uh, just a pause or maybe a little chuckle in here or there just to make it sound organic. So right off the top, if we've already spoken about your house and you just need to leave a message, press pound now and leave a message after the tone. So that obviously has a practical use because if sellers call back because that's the only number that they have, maybe the second or third time, I don't want to have to make them endure the entire message before they leave us a message. And that is actually how Vumber works.
A word of warning: These greetings will not do you any favors if you’re in the midst of a job hunt or work in a conservative industry. Always remember your target personas. If there’s a chance they won’t appreciate your sense of humor, opt for a straightforward greeting instead. “This is Bond. James Bond. Okay, it’s really [your last name]. [Your first name] [your last name]. I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m done helping M16 save the world — which will probably be tomorrow at the latest. Have a good day.” “Hmm. Gryffindor … No, Ravenclaw. Yes, you definitely belong in Ravenclaw. *Pause.* Okay, you haven’t reached the Sorting Hat — it’s the voicemail of [your name]. Please leave your name and number (and just for fun, the Harry Potter house you think you belong in) and I’ll return your call as soon as possible.” “Hello! You’ve gotten the voicemail of [your name]. Leave your name, contact info, and the answer to the eternal question ‘Which came first, the chicken or the egg?’ Anyone who gets it right will receive a call back.”
The History of the Answering Machine » bit.ly/39sgo7a 88 Creative Answering Machine Messages » bit.ly/3whSrZI 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages » bit.ly/3ub17iY