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My friend found a recording of a man rifling off purposely confusing voice mail instructions. It's really fast, and he keeps saying numbers and number combinations... I wish I had it....

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Thinking of having some fun with your callers while you are away? Here are some funny answering machine greetings and messages. Take a look.
Hi this is Sonny and Attie's machine. Medicare didn’t send us enough money this month so we are out robbing the liquor store. If this is the police we are just napping. .

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1. 1-603-413-4124: Calling Santa. Ever thought of reaching out to Santa months before the Christmas period? Well, this line allows you to talk to the man in charge of deciding who gets what for Christmas.
Hi, I am not here right now, but if you are a friend, leave a message, if you are a creditor you can kiss my... (beep)

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Voicemail greeting: "Hi. I'm probably home but avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message after the beep. If I don't call back it was you." Menu No categories 7 Funniest Voicemail Greetings That Will Make You Chuckle The Team 5 years ago No Comments Next '

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Whoopee, a call. I wonder who this could be? No…wait…don’t tell me…Oh yeah. Sorry, you bore me.

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There is a difference between business and personal voicemail content. In this slide presentation will learn useful tips in developing and recording both types of voice greetings. The Making of a Professional Cell Phone Voicemail Greeting September 27, 2011 Katie Devlin resources, tips, greetings

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    1. 911, what’s your emergency? Imagine you saying this when a call comes in. Just don’t let the other person say anything and barge in. It will make the other person laugh out loud.

    Made famous by George Costanza as you can see the clip here, the answering machine song may seem like a good idea. It's out of the box, unexpected, and definitely a novelty, but unless you're in the music business, it's probably not a good idea. You'll definitely irritate your mother (or anyone else important who calls you frequently) and you won't make a good first impression with your message.
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    Download and install Slydial onto your phone.Sign up for an account and log into the app.Dial 267-SLYDIAL to connect to the service.Enter the cell number you are trying to reach when prompted.Leave your message.See More....What is the best answering machine message?

    Funny answering machine or voicemail messages to try. Posted by hotcrowd on August 6, 2009. Try a clever message for your phone. These are a hoot! Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money.
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    10. “You are gonna be my new phone buddy.” Many people tend to come in the list of your best pals. This might be a great way to take your friendship to a whole new level.

    You’re growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.
    Website: https://www.onsip.com/voip-resources/smb-tips/business-voicemail-greetings-5-sample-scripts

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    Also, during your script video, you stated that your postcard mentions that the seller's initial call will only be answered by an automated service, but on the “Here's one of Our Favorite Postcards” screenshot, the actual verbage is, “Call [this number] and I'll be happy to talk with you. If I'm out, please leave a message and I will call you shortly.” [no mention as to why you'd call anybody “shortly”, but that's prolly not the hill i wanna die on right now].
    The above greeting is a professional voicemail script used by many growing and established businesses. It delivers the message quickly and efficiently, without wasting the caller’s time.

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seven best business voicemail greetings

Whether you’re out for the day or are off for the week, the first rule of an out of office voicemail greeting is: let callers know when you’ll be back! You’ll save them the frustration of continuing to call and yourself the hassle of listening to redundant voicemails. It’s also a good idea to set the expectation of whether you are answering messages while you’re away, and who they can reach for assistance in your absence.

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The moral of the story? Don’t trust old ladies! They’re armed and dangerous and should you see one please contact your local Garda Station.

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A professional and personable voicemail greeting is beneficial for several reasons. Read ahead to find out what these are.

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Sorry, Chris and Susan aren’t here right now. Please leave your name and number after the tone. If you are calling regarding an outstanding debt, please leave your message before the tone.

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