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“You’ve reached Bernice’s phone. I’m getting a tooth pulled on Tuesday and don’t feel like talking. In fact, I’ll probably sleep for about four days after the procedure. Tooth resorption is not a joke, friends. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Let your human brush your damn teeth, even if it feels like you’re about to DIE by way of tiny toothbrush. Also, I’ll be accepting gifts of gravy in the days following the extraction.”
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"Hello, you've reached [name] at [company]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. Leave your name and number, and I'll return your call as soon as I'm free. Thank you."
Are you bored of listening, as well as recording standard voice-mail messages in your answering machine? If so, scroll for some really funny voice-mail greetings, which will surely bring a smile on your, as well as your caller's face.
Which is why, you’ve got to put a little bit of “you” when it comes to voicemail. And the best part about all of this is, since you couldn’t come to the phone, at least the callers are having a good time listening to the message. Here are Best witty voice mail greetings ideas: My ass and I are out for a walk.
Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. [Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.] OK, what would you like me to tell me?
9. OK, so I followed all the instructions that came with the machine. I pressed all the necessary buttons. So… now what? I… am… so… confused. Could you please… beep.
Reality is usually better than anything I could make up. Here is a voice message received by one of my readers. (I bleeped out the sales rep’s phone number).
No48: You have reached 234-1243. This is an answering machine. This is the nineties. You know what to do.
38. Thanks for calling [company name]. We’re unable to take your call right now, but leave your details and we’ll call you right back.
So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.
3. "Hey, this is [your name]. If you're calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I'll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s]."
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14. "Hello, you've reached the Sales Department at [Company name]. All of our representatives are currently helping clients [insert goal such as, 'achieve 40% growth through streamlining HR operations'] and are unable to take your call. Please leave your name, company, and phone number and we'll give you a call back ASAP. Thank you!"
-So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.
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