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I’m out walking my donkey but as soon as I get my ass back in I’ll call you back. Leave me a message.

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3. Voicemail greetings for the customer s ervice phone number. Customers will eventually need help from your business. If your customer service team is unavailable for calls, you can use the customer service voicemail recordings below.
But if you can’t get an actual answering machine or afford an assistant to do the job, you can try out the best answering machine apps for Android. They may not be perfect but they get the job done. Note: The best answering machine apps for Android were tested on a Vivo V9 smartphone. The apps worked OK, and there were no major problems faced during testing. .

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Marketing Messages (617) 527-3023 [email protected] Page 6 The application then asks the patient if he/she has less than 20 days of supplies for medical items used by diabetics - such as masks, filters, tubing and test strips - and gives him/her the ability to re-order.
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Traditionally, businesses send out greeting cards or eGreeting cards during the holiday season. While this is a great approach, you shouldn't wait around for the winter holidays to tell let your clients know you're thinking of them! Keeping in touch with your clients throughout the year is a... 7 Elements of a Real Estate Professional's Voicemail Greeting May 17, 2012 Juli Durante real estate, script samples, greetings
One episode of The Simpsons has Homer and Marge buying a book about trying to invoke this trope, and end up trying to record a message together while reading out of it. It sort of goes without saying, but it ends up being So Unfunny It's Funny.. A season 2 episode had Homer calling Barney for bail, and initially gets an answering machine message sung to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.

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“Hi, this is [name]. I’m either on another call or am away from my desk. Please leave your name, contact details, number and your reason for reaching out and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for calling.”

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Sources report that when a single caller finally listened to Fulton’s voicemail, they didn’t fall for it.

  • funny voicemail recordings

    Who thought a voicemail system could be so fun? You can copy & paste one of the scripts above into the OpenPhone voicemail interface and create a professional voiceover instantly. Want to learn more about what else is possible with OpenPhone? How to set up auto-replies; Create snippets (or text message templates) How to record phone calls

    People around us can need help at any time of the day. Many a time friends, family, boss, colleagues, relatives, and acquaintances need to inform us of something important at odd hours. Some may know when to call you and some of them won’t. In cases where you are not accessible, leaving a simple voicemail on your phone can ease their worry.
    6. (914) 737-9938: Hilarious announcement test. This Westchester County, New York phone line is basically worth dialing for the hilarious message that says "This a CPTA announcement test.

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    Pressing 3 is optional. This is David. Please leave one. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. I am not in the office today; I may not be in tomorrow.Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers:. Our previous post on funny voicemail greetings got so much attention, we thought we'd continue….

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Seconds later say “HAHA, that was a fake beep created by my mouth. I fooled you good!” A is for A, B is for Beer, C is for C, D is for Drunk. Call me back in 48 hours when I’m R for Recovered! A is for apple, B is for beer and that may be why I’m not here. Leave a message. Alright listen, I’m on one line with my girlfriend and her best friend on the other. Leave a message and if you promise to not tell either of them that I’m a player, I’ll call you back. Back in MY DAY we didn’t use answering machines. We used jumbo sized devices to take messages for us. Those we called “Answering Machines” and I just realized.. I sound like an idiot! Bob is currently in the shower. He’s there an hour per day. I wonder what the heck he does in that time. Oh well, probably plays with himself. Help me.. HELP ME!! My wife wants me in bed. PLEASE CALL 911!!!! HURRY!!! AHHHHH!!! Hi this is Bob’s answering machine and I will need a few things from you. #1 is your full name including middle name. #2 is your address including postal code. #3 is your credit card number with the 3 digit security code on the back. There’s a porn site I want to join and I don’t want to use my moms information. Hi you have reached Bob and I’m not interested in having my grass cut, buying new windows or installing new doors. Hi you’ve reached Bob. If you want to leave a message press 1. If you want to leave a message about how sexy I am, press 2. If you have the wrong number, press 9. As you already can tell, the number pressing doesn’t do anything. I did all this just to feel.. cool.. Hi, I am Bob’s answering machine and he’s pissing me off. Everyday he changes his messages and I’m sick of all the button pressing he does. If you come over, can you please take me? I need a new owner who doesn’t push buttons! Hi, I understand how annoying long messages can be. Why do people always waste so much time talking about crap? Well I’m with you on this one. I can’t stand people who leave long messages talking about nothing useful. Why can’t they just get to the point? All they have to say is “Hey I’m not here cause I’m doing important stuff. Leave a message!” Anyways I kept this message short. Leave one after the beep. Hi, I’m in the process of getting married. Why can’t the priest operate as quick as a microwave? Less than 5 minutes or your money back! Hi, I’m not interested in answering your call right now but my voicemail is. Leave one! Hi, if you’re a telemarketer give me your number and I’ll call you back. What, you don’t want me to call you back? Now you know how I feel! Hi, my name is the answering machine and I record messages in your very own authentic voice. Would you like to increase the size of your penis? I sell those too! Hi, this is Bob’s voicemail and he’s on vacation. He’s in the Caribbean partying with all the tourists. If you like you can rob his place and I won’t say a word! Hi, you’ve reached the pizza delivery guy and I’m trying to make a delivery but am stuck waiting for the train to go by for the 10th time. This customer gets me every time! I had the phone ringing in my hand but was too lazy to answer it. Leave a message. If you are a male, keep your voice and say you are a female. Hi, this is Bob’s girlfriend. I drove him in debt and took his phone. Leave a message and if you sound rich & sexy, you’ll hear back! If you’re calling for Bob, press 1. If you are calling for Greg, press 2. Hey I have some news for you, there’s no Greg at this number. HAHA I lied to you! You got fooled pretty good! I’m pretty drunk & unstable. I think my hands are vibrating. How am I going to hold my next drink without spilling it?? PLEASE TELL ME!! I’m probably too lazy to answer. Leave a message and I’ll call back. If you don’t hear from me, then it’s cause I don’t like you! Keep your original voice Hi, I’m Katie and.. Who did I say I was? Oh man, I gotta keep off the Viagra! Make sound effects with your mouth. Yo Yo Yo.. This is Bob who’s here to make the save. You want to talk to me but I will be charging a fee. Leave a message so I can make enough for a massage! Oh no.. You’re calling.. Someone.. please pull my plug!!! Hello.. anyone there?? NOOOOOO… Oh wicked, I finally got an answering machine. YAY! Now how do you work this thing? Let’s see.. To record message, press the REC button. Alright, where the heck is the REC button? Someone else says out loud Bob you moron, it’s right here and you already pressed it! Then you say Ahh crap! Sorry I don’t answer the phone or check my messages but if you are calling to donate me money, leave a message and I’ll call you back within seconds. Sorry I missed your call. I’m probably running away from the wife. She’s in one of those moods.. AGAIN! This is Bob and I just picked up the best answering machine in the world. The recordings are in high quality. Leave a message now so I can listen to it in 5.1 surround sound! Yo, this is Bob coming to you from the rave, never knowing when to behave. I can rhyme within time and you should leave one before I win a ton! If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone. Funny Joker : I love funny jokes which is probably why I own this very funny jokes website :-) The jokes here are NOT work friendly, you've been warned. Recent Jokes Money Jokes Monster Jokes Time Jokes Bus Jokes Sheep Jokes Cow Jokes Camping Jokes Burger Jokes Weather Puns Weather Jokes Cannibal Jokes Baby Jokes Dad Jokes Grand National Jokes 69 Jokes Accounting Jokes Funny Things to Say at a Drive Thru Understanding Marketing Jokes Sperm Jokes Knock Knock Jokes Free Sex Jokes Funny Bumper Stickers Love at First Sight Joke Computer Jokes Magna Carta Joke
    YES. I'm happy to also share my ‘we buy houses' voicemail script with you…a time-tested, proven motivated seller voicemail script I crafted and fine-tuned for 18+ years now.

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    Here is a great short example: Hello this is [first name] with {business name} in {city name} . I apologize I cannot answer the call at the moment, please leave me your name, number, and I will return the call as soon as get back to the phone. Here you have let the caller know that they have reached your business, and that you are sorry you can’t answer right away. It assures them that you are interested in their call, and that you will get back with them as soon as you can.

    I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.
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  • voice message samples for business

    5 hilarious voicemail greeting message ideas Sing your greeting with music. A classic funny voicemail greeting is that from George on the sitcom Seinfeld. ... Make your friends think you're on the phone with them. Pretend to answer the phone. ... Pretend to ignore their call. ... Create a rhyming greeting. ... Bring your voicemail greeting to life. ...

    7. When you're finished, hang up to exit your voicemail system. When there are no other messages for you to check, or you're otherwise done checking your voicemail, press the red End Call button to exit your voicemail system and hang up the call.
    Hello. Thank you for contacting [Business Name]. Unfortunately, we are not currently available at the moment. Our regular office hours are Monday through Friday, 8 am to 4 pm, closed during the weekend. Please leave a message along with your name and number, and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

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Is there another postcard to which you were referring in the script video that DOES say that the seller will NOT talk to a real person at first? I'm just a little bit confused about the discrepancy there. But, like I said, I am battling pneumonia so i'm prolly not braining well today. Hard for me to know really.

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Sources report that when a single caller finally listened to Fulton’s voicemail, they didn’t fall for it.

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And then a whole generation of children grew up thinking that all mysteries have to involve monsters somehow. Judge_Deadd, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 15, 2003 Messages: 5,818 - Hello, you have reached the home of Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf. Who does not live here. No one lives here! This is all a big lie presented to you by the American infidels. You're not calling this number! Please leave a message after the beep, which by the way does not exist. - HEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH *click*

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