Then Chuck Norris will hand you over my script. Totally serious. Just try it. š
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God's Voice mail lolĀ Jesus's Voice mail
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This is the WORST. VOICE MAIL. GREETING. EVER. I laughed when Tyler mentioned it on his blog last week, because I had just been talking about it with a friend the week before.
Nobody wants to listen to a long-winded voicemail. Keep your greeting short, simple, and concise. A voicemail message should pique a clientās interest and leave them looking forward to your call. Stick to the basics, explaining your company name, hours of operation, and when to expect a callback.
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Here are a few sample voice mail greetings to get you started: Standard Voice Mail Greetings. Normal Greeting (Without pager notification) "This is (name) of (company). I'm currently unable to take your call. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message, and I ā¦
A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the futureā¦. A is for academics, B is for beer. So leave a message. After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button doesā¦ā¦.
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No19: I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
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2. Interactive Voice Response (IVR) Greeting. The greeting callers hear when they enter your IVR. Sample Scripts: āFor English press 1. Para EspaƱol presione el nĆŗmero 2.ā
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1. If you are a burglar, then weāre probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and canāt come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably arenāt home and itās safe to leave us a message.
ProfileFriendsGroupsDiscussionsCommentsReading ChallengeKindle Notes & HighlightsQuotesFavorite genresFriendsā recommendationsAccount settingsHelpSign out Start by marking āNo Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messagesā as Want to Read: Weād love your help. Let us know whatās wrong with this preview of No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages by John Carfi. Problem: Itās the wrong book Itās the wrong edition Other Not the book youāre looking for? Preview ā No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages by John Carfi liked it 3.00Ā Ā· Rating detailsĀ Ā· 3 ratingsĀ Ā· 1 review Published March 28th 1984 by CCC Publications (first published March 1984) 0918259002 (ISBN13: 9780918259004) To ask other readers questions about No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages, please sign up. Be the first to ask a question about No Hang-Ups Funny Answering Machine Messages This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Add this book to your favorite list Ā» Aug 02, 2014 Kelly rated it liked it I like this book. Great, snarky answering machine messages. There's something so special about each class of debut YA authors; after all, young adult fiction is all about the hopefulness of new... Company About us Careers Terms Privacy Interest Based Ads Ad Preferences Help AirPods AirPods Max AirPods Pro Apple Car Apple Deals Apple Glasses Apple Pay Apple Pro Display XDR Apple TV Apple Watch SE Apple Watch Series 7 CarPlay HomePod HomePod mini iMac iOS 14 iOS 15 iPad iPad Air iPad mini iPad Pro iPadOS 14 iPadOS 15 iPhone 11 iPhone 12 iPhone 13 iPhone 13 Pro iPhone 14 iPhone SE 2020 iPod touch Mac mini Mac Pro MacBook Air MacBook Pro 13" MacBook Pro 16" macOS Big Sur macOS Monterey watchOS 7 watchOS 8 Home New Posts Forum List Trending New Threads New Media Spy New posts WikiPost Latest summaries Watched WikiPosts Support FAQ and Rules Contact Us Thread starter patrick0brien Start date Jun 14, 2006 Sort by reaction score
Hi, this is Tom, the sales manager at Orlando Powersports. Iām either busy assisting customers, getting ready for our End of Season Sale, featuring deep discounts on our huge selection of power sports equipment and gear or if Iām really lucky, Iām out riding the latest CAN-AM DS 250! Leave a message, and I will call you back as soon as possible. Thanks for calling!
3. 4 out of 5 people who employ this service have country music as their song of choice while I wait to be connected. Itās as if country music fans got together and said, āif only we could get 15 seconds of our music into peopleās ears, they would see how amazing it is. Does anyone have a bright idea of how we could force people to listen to 15 seconds of country music?ā
Dear Caller: As I'm leaving you this message, the sun is shining for a change. Little children are cavorting in the park, and their tasty mothers and teenage sisters are sunbathing practically nude. So, did you really think I was going to stick around this dump?
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Are you bored of listening, as well as recording standard voice-mail messages in your answering machine? But this time, why not try something different? Instead of keeping such serious messages, let us have some interesting and funny greetings.
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5. The Urgency + Mystery Combo. Once youāve gotten the basics of those last four scripts, you can combine examples to get even more creative.
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So leave a message at the beep. Hiā¦You have reached name. I am unable to answer your call. Leave your name and number and I will return your callā¦If you are a bill collector, please send me a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can send you my latest bills.JavaScript seems to be disabled in your browser. You must have JavaScript enabled in your browser to utilize the functionality of this website. There are very few cases in which our telephone answering service would recommend having an antiquated voicemail answer your incoming calls.
A Courteous Communications can recommend these 10 recordings for personal use only. Your business callers may not appreciate these voicemail recordings, but your friends and family will surely get a kick out of them.
5. Holiday Voicemail Greetings. Happy [X holiday]! You've reached [your name] at [X company]. I am currently out of the office, but please leave me your name, phone number, and the reason you are calling, and Iāll return your call after the holidays.
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The one drawback to Fiverr is you wonāt be working directly with the artist in a studio and providing immediate feedback. Because of this, you could end up with a project thatās not 100% what you had in mind.
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While deciding on a greeting remember that while it is important to be friendly, do not try to be cute or overtly sweet. It is not necessary to state the obvious details. It may be a good idea to change your voicemail message as often as possible. Also if you are recording a message for a business organization, it is important to let the caller know how to skip the message that is playing. If it is possible then giving an alternate number where the caller can reach you is always a great idea. Given later in this article are some examples.
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4. Provide your voicemail system's password. You will be prompted to enter the passcode to your voicemail account, if you have set one (which, hopefully, you have).
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Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. The new number is Yes, same number.
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5. Happy Holidays from GetVoIP! Sorry we couldnāt find one of the interns to answer your call, weāre all tied up trying to finish off this supply of Eggnog before the year ends. Feel free to check out our website, or even leave a message. Weāll be returning to the office after the New Year on January 2nd, and weāll get back to you as soon as we can.
A professional voicemail greeting is a recorded message that welcomes callers to your business when no one is available to pick up the call. For a polished call experience, the greeting should reflect who the client is calling ā whether a general business number, department, team, or individual ā and when the customer can expect the call to be returned.
Membership is free, secure and easy. You will require an account to build your own soundboard or buy sound tracks.! Just fill out the account information below. All fields are required, VERIFICATION EMAIL will be sent to address. All unverified accounts are deleted within 72 hours.
Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You guessed it. Guess what's next? You guessed it.
Helloā¦ pause. Helloā¦ long pause. Who is this? long pause again Is anyone on the line?ā¦long pause and beep sound.
Hello, Mom. Good morning! But if you think about it as a day of fun and learning, you will have so much energy and enthusiasm to wing whatever this day will drop in on you. Seize the day! Take your sweet time. Make sure that your hair is freshly washed and fabulously blown out. Did you know that every minute, a person posts a motivational or inspiring quote that they do not live by? So, is it, Mom? Oh, good morning, by the way! Trust me, Mom. When I woke up this morning, I really had no plans of being drop dead gorgeous, insanely witty, and hopelessly charming.
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Now, towards the end, I want to be sure and set the expectation that I'm probably not going to be in a position to pay you full market value for your property and I explained why. However, I can pay a fair price based on the condition and the situation you have at hand.
This is name speaking. He donates to charity through its office and do not want their picture taken. So how about an early birthday present? These were some of the best and funny voice-mail greetings. Try recording them in your voice mailbox.Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time.
Error Dial Answering Machine Telephone Line External Recording "We're sorry, Your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please check the ... suspense 020.wav - mp3 version suspense 020.wav - ogg version suspense 020.wav - waveform suspense 020.wav - spectrogram 15360.3
Stephen Colbert asked Samuel L. Jackson to record his infamous voice on his outgoing message recording. Click here and listen on Youtube to what it would sound like if Mr. Jackson leant his voice to your voicemail recording.
Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial?
"Hi. You've reached my voicemail. Please leave your name, number, and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn't be done over text."
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Now that you know which script to use, how do you record it? Depending on your budget and the resources available to you, you can record the script yourself, use a text-to-speech program, or hire a professional voice actor to record your greeting.
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Hi! You've reached Janet and Chris's room. We're not in right now. If this is our parents, we're at the library studying. Yeah, yeah, that's it, that's the ticket. If this is John, Chris is out with the girls at the party. Yeah, that's it. If this is any one else, we're at a party and you're not. Yeah, a party with the president. Yeah and the, the, the Pope. Yeah that's it.
Here are a few sample voice mail greetings to get you started: Standard Voice Mail Greetings. Normal Greeting (Without pager notification) "This is (name) of (company). I'm currently unable to take your call. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message, and I ā¦
You want to know why? So leave a message at the beep. Hiā¦You have reached name. I am unable to answer your call. Leave your name and number and I will return your callā¦If you are a bill collector, please send me a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can send you my latest bills. Have a great day! The number you have reached is currently not in service, but when I wake up and turn my phone back on, it will be! If you are someone looking to give me a job, press 2.
Using your cell phone to record a voicemail message isn't always easy. Between remembering what to say and getting the right timing, it's tricky. But your phone does have a playback option, and it's easy to listen to and review your message. For some people, though, cutting off the end of a message is a funny way to trick people and catch them
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Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button doesā¦ā¦. This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean.
āHey there! This is [name] at [XYZ company]. Thank you for calling. I canāt take your call right now but if you leave your name, contact info and reason for calling, Iāll call you back right away. Take care and speak with you soon!ā
18. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm away from [date] to [date]. If you need help with [X] before then, please contact [name] at [phone number]. Everyone else, please leave your name and number and I'll return your call when I return. Thanks and have a great day."
06Hi, youāve reached the offices of [your company/name]. I will be out of the office between [dates] and [date]. You can reach me on my private cell [your number] if this is an emergency. Alternatively, you can call me when I get back to the office or leave a brief message.
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This is the WORST. VOICE MAIL. GREETING. EVER. I laughed when Tyler mentioned it on his blog last week, because I had just been talking about it with a friend the week before.
Leave your name, number and text message after beeping.Oh, please wait for me to call you back.Bye.Hello...My name is the fridge (your name.He/she is not at home to answer your call now.To leave a message for him/her, speak very slowly so I can leave a message with the help of these fridge magnets.
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If you started your company more than a year ago, itās probably time to change your voicemail script. Your recording should match the brand, tone, and voice of your company ā just as though a caller were speaking to a member of your team.
An excellent business voicemail greeting conveys your level of professionalism and competence while also providing your callers with a glimpse into your companyās culture and level of care. As minor as it may seem, your voicemail greeting can instill confidence and trust in your callers or it can be a cause for concern.
06Hi, youāve reached the offices of [your company/name]. I will be out of the office between [dates] and [date]. You can reach me on my private cell [your number] if this is an emergency. Alternatively, you can call me when I get back to the office or leave a brief message.
Donāt leave customers and colleagues on edge. If you say youāre going to call them back, follow up. If you tend to fall behind in this area, encourage them to email you or reach out in another way. Better yet, learn how to forward voicemail to email so you can access the message anywhere.
āHello, itās me. I was wondering if after all these years youād leave a message at the beep. Hello, can you hear me? Iām in California dreaming about the message that youāll leave. Hello from Ellen.ā
So take a look at some funny greetings that you can use as your funny cell phone voicemail ideas (or home phone). HI, youāve reached (name). Iām so sorry I canāt pick up the call right now because I am standing right behind you. GOTCHA. My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, Iāll give you a call. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z About US
1. The Welcome Greeting. This is the first greeting callers hear when they call your company. Sample Scripts: āThank you for calling [company name].ā āThank you for calling [company name].
Are you thinking about changing your voicemail greeting? Would you like some help from us? Set up a cranky, funny voicemail, and share a moment of laughter with your dear ones, before they understand your intention behind it and run to get you!
