“I don’t know who you are but if you don’t let my daughter go now, I will find you; I will kill you. Please leave a message.”
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Back in 1997, Seinfeld’s character, George Costanza, attempts to avoid a breakup call from his girlfriend and we hear his comical outgoing machine recording.
A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future…. A is for academics, B is for beer. So leave a message. After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does…….
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If you’re looking for a short and simple message, we suggest turning to Homer Simpson as he tells callers to… leave a message.
3. "Hey, this is [your name]. If you're calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I'll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s].
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8. The Professional Script. Some prospects need you to sound professional. All they want is a straightforward solution to their pain points.
4. Waiting Message. What callers hear when they enter the waiting queue. Sample Scripts: “All of our agents are currently busy. Please hold and we will answer your call as soon as possible.”
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Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
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Each one is a mini, completely made up story that shows off the lighthearted side of Stadium Property Stars. They tell everyone about Mick’s crazy messages. The best part is they have people calling now that hope the phone doesn’t get answered so they can listen to the newest one. Many of these callers have even become new customers. https://wizardofads.contractors/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Stadium-July-Laugh-2021.mp3
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2. Professional voicemail greetings for your business cell phone number. It’s a good practice for each of your team members to have their own personal business phone numbers.
25. "Hello! Thanks for reaching out to [company]. We're closed today for the holiday, and will reopen tomorrow. If you leave your name, number, and a brief message, we'll give you a call when we're back in the office. Thanks again, and have a great day."
Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible. This is Chris. This is his refrigerator. Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now.
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George is a little different considering he won’t have eager leads calling him about a remodeling project, however, there are certain lessons we can all take from his funny voicemail.
12. "Hi, you've reached [company]. We're available by phone from [hour] to [hour] [time zone] Monday through Friday [optional: and from hour to hour on the weekends]. You can also contact us by going to our website, [URL], and live-chatting or emailing us. If you'd like us to call you back, please leave your name and number after the tone."
Your voicemail service is usually controlled by your mobile carrier, therefore, the most reliable way to turn off your voicemail is to ask their support team to disable it: 1. Launch your phone
"Hello, you've reached [name] at [company]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. Leave your name and number, and I'll return your call as soon as I'm free. Thank you."
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So, haha funny story, my phone and I are playing hide and seek…. Hey before you leave that message, do you want to know something about me?
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hi JP, I loved it and appreciate any help I can get. I thought it was awesome. Concise and to the point but adaptable to my business model as I’m a solopreneur but life long NE Ohioan. Can i use my dog as my family??? I meet alot of people on walks with him as he is uber cute and friendly. Let you know how it goes. Have a great day! Home Privacy Policy Terms of Use Cancellation Policy Contact Us Members Login Sitemap
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-So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.
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As in the situation above, a full mailbox can be really frustrating for an employer who is trying to get in touch with you. Set aside time at least once a week to make sure you clean out your voicemail. You want to be as accessible as possible for potential employers. I’ve called a few job seekers lately to help with their search and have gotten this message, “We’re sorry. The person you are trying to reach has not yet set up their voicemail system. Please try again later.” This makes you look a little lazy and can frustrate the hiring managers. As soon as you get a new phone, make sure you make it a priority to get your voicemail up and running. Definitely make sure you have it set up before you start sending out job applications. I understand this could slip your mind, but it’s important that you do everything you can to show the hiring manager that you are reliable and reachable.
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To whom it may concern. You’ve tried to reach Wilbur and Ed. We aren’t here at the moment, but if you want, you can leave your contact information at the tone and one of the brood will get to you shortly. Take care, thanks for the call.
My 12 y/o niece put on her cell phone message, "Leave your name and number. If I love you, I'll call you back." Although not earth-shatteringly funny, it was cute the way she said it. In college my roomate was a cop, he told me that the worst things you can say on an answering machine were 1) telling them your name, 2) telling the caller your number, 3) and that you aren't at home. Well, here's what I did... Thats probably good advice for a home phone, but at the same time, I don't think it applies to a cell phone really. I used to have a longer message aimed at keeping people from leaving messages ... but I hate getting voicemails for the most part. One summer I had my little cousin start singing take me out to the ball game, I cut him off after a few lines, but it was just my version of satire against parents who have their kids sing, and it was pretty funny.
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28. Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I can’t come to the phone right now, probably because I’ve just stepped away from my desk, but possibly because I’m trapped under something heavy. Leave a message and I’ll call you back within one business day — and if I don’t, please send help.
I call bullshit. Why does he start describing what the guy is wearing when he gets out of the car?
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“I don’t know who you are but if you don’t let my daughter go now, I will find you; I will kill you. Please leave a message.”
Here are some of the examples. ! Best Voicemail Greetings ! These voicemail greeting ideas will be your help to inform the callers that you are not available, you are doing something or you are out of the office. ! 1. Hi! You have reached voicemail of (your name), (job title). I …
Hi this is Andrew. If you are an ex-girlfriend, suck it up and move on. If not, I do have a life that is obviously being used so leave a message and if I have time, i'll try to squeeze you in.
6. Visual Voicemail Plus. Visual Voicemail Plus is a reliable voicemail app offering great customisation options for its users to manage their messages visually.
The days of “Let’s talk soon!” have evolved into, if not a text, then “I’ll leave you a message!” FREE Five-Day Challenge LEARN THE 25 HABITS OF A REMARKABLY CLASSY PERSON. Count Me In!
You just can’t usually solution the phone and contacting 15 periods isn’t aiding. Deliver a textual content or depart a voicemail. • initial On #advice #randomfacts #fun #giggle More
While your best friends might think it's funny, anyone else will see a message like this for what it is: unnecessarily rude. Loud heavy-metal music in background; raspy voice: Hello, this is the executioner. Do you want your voicemail returned? Saying goodbye to a friend like you is like saying goodbye to my own soul — it is just not possible. Give him a reason to smile and think about you with a fun message he won't forget. And as the old adage reminds us, first impressions are everything.
After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you and I'll think about returning your call. Thus, it is important for you to be clear while recording such messages. We hope you enjoyed these funny voicemail greetings! Since our business answering service is open 24 hours a day, you'll never be greeted by a voicemail greeting requesting you to leave a message.
“I’m not able to get to the phone in spite of the fact that I’m able to climb mountains, water ski, and play a saxophone. So, please leave me your message, and I’ll get to you soon. Thanks for calling.”
High quality polycarbonate. Access to all ports. Fade and Scratch resistant. Vacuum-form printed in U.S.A. Learn More » Description : Free Funny Voicemail ringtone download, mp3 ringtone Funny Voicemail free for all mobile phones, Free Download Now! CATEGORIES AlternativeBluesBollywoodChildrenChristian & GospelClassicalComedyContact RingtonesCountryDanceElectronicaEntertainmentGamesHip hopHolidayIphoneJazzLatinMessage TonesNewsNews & PoliticsOtherPets & AnimalsPopR&B/SoulrapReggaeRockSayingsSound EffectsWorld Threads Threads Posts Advanced View First Unread Thread Tools Search this Thread Log in | Register By logging into your account, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy, and to the use of cookies as described therein. The Hull Truth - Boating and Fishing Forum > BOATING FORUMS > Dockside Chat By logging into your account, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy, and to the use of cookies as described therein. If you are having trouble signing in, please email [email protected] with your username and we will help you. We thank you for your patience as we help you access the new site! This means that if you post something that might be considered political, you will be suspended. It is at the sole discretion of the mod team, and if someone reports your post for politics, you can be assured a suspension is on the way. Reply Like Isn't this months old? You missed out, think it's been posted twice.
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Don't create any unnecessary complications by asking someone to call you back at the office when you're calling from your cell phone. Today I've decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time.
With my cell phone in my hand and her watching her show. I asked her if she could get me a beer and she said no. Then her cell phone rang in the kitchen and she quickly got up to see what it was. My message said while you're in the kitchen can you get me a beer. I don't remember the rest
“Hi, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m away from[date] to [date]. If you need help with [X] before then, please contact [name] at [phone number]. Everyone else, please leave your name and number and I’ll return your call when I return. Thanks and have a great day.” “Hello, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m currently [exploring Asia, hiking through the jungle in Costa Rica, hanging out on the beach in Bermuda] — or more likely, [recovering from extreme jet lag, googling ‘Are red spiders poisonous,’ or looking for SPF 150 sunscreen] and won’t be back in the office until [date]. Leave your contact info and reason for calling and I’ll get in touch then.” “Hey there, this is [your name] from [your company]. I’m out of the office until [date]. In the meantime, please direct your inquiries to [coworker’s name] at [email address]. [He, she] can also be reached at [phone number]. Thank you.”
Rates and Pricing About Us Download the Rate Price PDF Contact Us FREE Voicemail Greeting Scripts Free Voicemail Greeting Scripts Funny Voicemail Greetings Business Voicemail Greetings Mailbox Greetings On-Hold Messages Welcome Messages How do I create a custom voicemail greeting? How do I set a custom voicemail greeting on my Android phone? How do I set a custom voicemail greeting on my iPhone? What is a good business voicemail greeting? Blog Español The right voice custom voicemail narration will welcome your corporate and business customers with a professional sound, and on-hold messages are a pleasure to listen to, set to the right voice and music. Make your brand and image stand out on the phone. The right voice custom voicemail narration will welcome your corporate and business customers with a professional sound, and on-hold messages are a pleasure to listen to, set to the right voice and music. I specialize in Recording Creative voicemail greetings, Business Voicemail trees, Messages On-Hold, Greetings with music. I offer a full Voicemail Narration service.
We hope you enjoyed these funny voicemail greetings! Since our business answering service is open 24 hours a day, you'll never be greeted by a voicemail greeting requesting you to leave a message. Funny msg ideas for friend. However, if you are offering to buy dinner, I may be available sooner than you think. Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite. Leave a message.
Do you find yourself putting pen to paper, staring blankly at the wall, searching for just what to say? Well, know that it happens to the best of us. To help you out, we’ve included some voicemail greeting samples for you to look at. Both the 10 formal and 10 informal samples should give you the prompting you need to start crafting your own voicemail script.
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Funny Voicemail Greetings. Composing these types of greetings are fun, but they aren’t applicable for some situations. You may make a funny voicemail greeting for your own personal voicemail box. However, it’s not appropriate for professional or business phones. Here are some humorous examples for you: You have reached [mention your name].
5. The Serious Greeting. I’m going into hibernation for a few months. For more updates, check my Facebook page. Hello, to reach the person you are calling, please say the password.
Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does……. This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean.
HI, you’ve reached (name). I’m so sorry I can’t pick up the call right now because I am standing right behind you. GOTCHA.
Pricing Features All Features Mobile App Call Menu Options Local & Toll-Free Business Numbers Business Call Routing Client Notes CRM Port My Business Number What is a Virtual Phone System? What is a Virtual Phone Number? Reviews About Us Blog FAQ Log In What is a Professional Voicemail Greeting? Why is Having a Great Business Voicemail Greeting Important? How to Create Your Own Professional Business Voicemail Greeting Record Your Own Text-To Speech Technology Hire Professional Voice-Over Talent Top 13 Professional Voicemail Greetings – Examples, Scripts, Samples, Audio Recordings Company Voicemail Greetings Department Voicemail Greetings Personal Business Voicemail Greetings Small Business Resources for Business & Personal Growth
Hi, you have reached the Borg collective. Please leave your name and star system and we'll assimilate you as soon as we can.
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Hello. You’ve reached the offices of [Business Name]. At present, our office is closed for repairs. However, you may reach us at our temporary location, at 555-555-3432. There, we will be able to pick up your call, 9 to 5, Monday through Friday. Thank you.
9. This is Dan Cassidy’s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I’ve doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.
I’ve assembled this list in mid-nineties from the messages that people were emailing around. As far as I know, the author of this list is unknown. Book a free demo Request a quote
I was trying to put together the puzzle of my life and realized there's a piece missing - you. Business transition voicemail greetings communicate important information resulting from changes to your business activities driven by things like a new address or remodeling. Keep it light and simple! In the new HBO documentary Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind, Billy Crystal, fellow comedian and decades-long friend of Robin Williams, opens up about his bond with the late comedian, including a series of voicemails that I'm leaving you this message because it's the fastest way for my heart to reach yours.
If you're seeing this message, that means JavaScript has been disabled on your browser, please enable JS to make Imgur work. Witty Quotes Clever Quotes Funny Quotes Wisdom Quotes Funny ThingsGood Questions Mysterious Questions Funny Signs Funny Headlines Funny Definitions Other QuotesArmy Quotes Computer Quotes Respect Quotes Political Quotes Love Quotes Life Quotes Inspirational Quotes Friendship Quotes Marriage Quotes Happy Birthday Quotes Sorry I can’t get to the phone right now because my girlfriend and I are doing our favorite thing together. Personally I like doing it up and down, while she likes doing it side-to-side r-e-a-l slow... So I’ll get back to you when we finish brushing our teeth. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money. This is not an answering machine this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call. Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I find it. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message. Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI. You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up. Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone.
2. "Hi, you've reached [name] at [company]. If you need a quick response, please shoot me an email at [insert email address] and I'll be in touch by EOD tomorrow.
