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8. Hello, you’ve reached [your name], [your job title] at [your company]. I’m sorry for missing your call, but if you leave a message that includes your name and contact information, I’ll get in touch as soon as I can.

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6. (914) 737-9938: Hilarious announcement test. This Westchester County, New York phone line is basically worth dialing for the hilarious message that says "This a CPTA announcement test.
“I’m not able to get to the phone in spite of the fact that I’m able to climb mountains, water ski, and play a saxophone. So, please leave me your message, and I’ll get to you soon. Thanks for calling.” .

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10. "Hello, you've reached [X company]. We can't take your call right now, but please leave your name, contact information, and reason for reaching out, and one of our team members will be in touch within 24 hours.
No35: (Drunken voice:) You have reached Bob's hotline. We are not able to respond due to uninevitable circumcisions. But if you leave your name and noomber, we won't be in wonder... pa-a-a-a!

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No3: Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.
But if you can’t get an actual answering machine or afford an assistant to do the job, you can try out the best answering machine apps for Android. They may not be perfect but they get the job done. Note: The best answering machine apps for Android were tested on a Vivo V9 smartphone. The apps worked OK, and there were no major problems faced during testing.

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Hello. This is Mark and Nathan's phone. We're not here right now, but the phone is.

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Your voice is missing! You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

1. The Welcome Greeting. This is the first greeting callers hear when they call your company. Sample Scripts: “Thank you for calling [company name].” “Thank you for calling [company name].
Read Poems Contests Winners Poetry By Topics Read Quotes List of Poets Discussion Forums More Writing Tips Administration Contact Us Sign-In Name : Jayde Status : Regular Member Joined : Dec 1, 2004 Posts : 61 "I'm away, taking over the world with an army of crazed penguins. Leave a message, but it probably won't matter when the whole world has been enslaved by the Penguin Lord and I am elected the Penguin Goddess. Have a nice day." "I'm not here right now, if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone." "I am the cookie monster's secret sidekick, and as the cookie monster's secret sidekick I am required to eat all the cookies. BRB." "I'm an alien from outer space and I'm having sex with your eyeballs and you like it cuz you're smiling." If you have any more add them. I'd love to see what anyone can come up with or find. Reply Name : aaron 1 remo Status : Regular Member Joined : Nov 18, 2005 Posts : 312 ' hello...................hello..................hey who is this?............... hahahahahahaha you were just talking to a machine moron!' That was mine for quite a while untill I started to get worried messages from my nanna 'Aaron?, Aaron what happened? are you all right? did you just get mugged Aaron?!!!' Bless her Name : Italian Stallion Status : Senior Member Joined : Jun 16, 2005 Posts : 8266 "Thank you for calling 911 our offices are closed because everyone is at the donut shop....." "Greetings, this is science officer spock, currently there are no life forms avalable to take your call ...." Name : christina marie Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 8, 2005 Posts : 964 of receiving messages My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you. think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling... and I'll think about returning your call. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back. Name : melly xx Status : Regular Member Joined : May 3, 2005 Posts : 508 Name : HOLLY ARMER Status : Senior Member Joined : Apr 29, 2004 Posts : 2620 Hi, this is ________. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP Name : Void Status : Senior Member Joined : Aug 12, 2005 Posts : 835 Name : Amanda Renee Status : Regular Member Joined : Feb 20, 2006 Posts : 214 my friends is as follows... it goes... Hello... and waits a couple seconds and then it says how are you doing today? and then if you reply it says good... then it waits then you ask it a couple ?? if ur like me when i heard it i answered him and well then he goes well hey i guess i better go and i was like what he goes bye and then finally he says glad i got to talk to you on my voice mail talk soon and i will call you back' About Scholarship Entertainment Scholarship About Us Contact Us Privacy Policy Terms and Conditions How Do I Create Funny Voicemail Messages? Join the Community Lakshmi Sandhana Lakshmi Sandhana Some individuals like to create funny voicemail messages for people to hear when they call.
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8. Base Visual Voicemail. Base Visual Voicemail is one of the top-rated voicemail apps till now, developed by Telenet Group. This app was designed with an aim to give you a wonderful experience while checking on voicemails while offering a great range of features to view and manage your calls and voicemails with ease.

Well, if you left me a message at some point in 2009 there was a good chance you heard that greeting.
You can’t call someone back if you don’t have their number. It seems basic, but it’s easy to forget. So a quick reminder can go a long way.
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As I was about to get into advising you on the best practices of voicemail recordings and greetings, here’s what was blasting in my ears: “I can’t keep on losing you / Over complications / Gone too soon / Wait, we was just hangin’”… I’ll let you make the parallel.

Listing Results Free Funny Voicemail Greetings Recordings Total 46 Results Webmail Member login Email finder
But it appears I’m not alone. Here’s a portion of one reader’s letter; see whether you relate!
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From farts to turds and from banter to hits below the belt — BFFs, besties, best friends and bae are on the chopping block here. You talk. I'm sorry I didn't answer your call. I want to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Zedge have thousands of ringtones for your cell phone. He could record the following: Hi! This is John Smith. Some of these quotes are designed to accommodate every feeling an individual has. Give him a reason to smile and think about you with a fun message he won't forget.

1. The Celebrity Greeting. Hello! If you are [insert celebrity crush or famous person], call my personal line. You know what number that is. Wink wink. The President is not in the office.
Hey, who’s this? I’d actually pick up, but my phone is staring at me. OMG! I just saw it wink!
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5. Voicemail greetings for holidays. Your customers might need you on the holidays. If you’re a business owner, you know this already. 🙂 Manage customer expectations and let them know how to get assistance.

A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future.
Voices.com connects you with over 200,000 voice talents. The artist will send you an audition and an estimated quote to complete the work. Once you listen to all auditions, you select your talent to begin the project.
Voicemails need to maintain a professional consistency that’s aligned with the entity it’s representing. That said, the structure can vary depending on the situation. There’s no template set in stone. In fact, trite and generic should be off the table. The goal should be a balance of uniqueness and practicality.
"Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies." - Quark, DS9 S2E1, "The Homecoming" CivCube, May 23, 2003 Joined: Nov 26, 2002 Messages: 9,643 Location: Kansas puglover, May 23, 2003 Joined: Oct 1, 2001 Messages: 2,272 Location: North Crackalacken "Seinfeld" - Georges answering machines message anyone? .:KNAS:., May 23, 2003 Joined: Sep 12, 2002 Messages: 2,031 Location: Monterrey, Mexico you guys are killing me, I feel like I want to buy an answering machin ASAP! Zcylen, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2003 Messages: 603 Gender: Male Location: northwest Montana Any of you read Doug Hofstadter's Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid? If so, you'll understand the message I actually put on my office voice mailbox: "Your message has just been sent to Tumbolia, the land of dead hiccups and burnt-out light bulbs. Have a nice day." Siegmund, May 23, 2003 Joined: Aug 9, 2002 Messages: 9,471 Location: USA Hello, you have reached the [enter your name here] residence. Please leave your message after the beep. [About a minute passes, no beep. The person decides to leave their message. Hopefully a particularly long one.] *beep* Ohhhhhh, yes. Oh, yeah! Uh huh, ohhhhhh yeah... Ooohhh... Oh my God, is that thing recording? *beep* If you are trying to reach [your phone number here], please stop. I don't like people calling me. I don't like people at all, really. If you have any will to survive, please do not decide to call me back. Thank you. [Only if you don't live in a German-speaking place]: STOPPEN SIE, MICH, SIE ANZURUFEN DUMME LAUNE! ICH MAG SIE NICHT! GEHEN SIE ZUR HÖLLE! OH- UND VERLASSEN IHRE ANZEIGE NACH DEM SIGNALTON. *beep* WillJ, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2002 Messages: 149 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada K-Man, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jun 1, 2002 Messages: 1,148 Location: Québec Hello? Yes, yes, okay, okay, yes, wait a minute... bip!
This message will self destruct. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it. The President is not in his office at this time.

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"Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it." Lord_all_Mighty, May 22, 2003 Joined: Oct 20, 2002 Messages: 1,506 Location: Too close to Victoria You have reached the home of Tarzan. Sorry i can't answer the phone right now, please leave a message after the AAAHHHHHHAAHHHHHHAAHHHHHHHH Bose, May 23, 2003 Joined: May 16, 2003 Messages: 352 Location: Poland, Warsaw -Robert, answer the phone! Oops, I am Robert! But I'm away now. See? You have to record a message... -You have just reached Browns. We're arguing right now. Record a message: when we'll finish, the one that didn't move out to his/her mother will call you. -Hello, here's Iraq Army HQ. We are out because we want to conquer the USA. When Yankees will kick our butts again, we'll call you. good voice message greetings

Hello, this is Susan. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number. On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone. I don't guarantee that one of them will call you back -- only that I won't.
You can’t call someone back if you don’t have their number. It seems basic, but it’s easy to forget. So a quick reminder can go a long way.
These guys do it all. They have a voice-over service (including writing the greeting script) and transfer the greeting to your phone in super high quality. I couldn’t find anything better online anywhere. https://www.okcvideoproduction.com/record-high-quality-voicemail-greeting Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Check out all posts
1. Hi this is [your name], I’m either away from my desk or on the phone, please leave your name and number along with a short message and I’ll be sure to get back to you. 2. I’m sorry, but I’m momentarily tied up. Please leave your name and number, and I’ll …
"Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies." - Quark, DS9 S2E1, "The Homecoming" CivCube, May 23, 2003 Joined: Nov 26, 2002 Messages: 9,643 Location: Kansas puglover, May 23, 2003 Joined: Oct 1, 2001 Messages: 2,272 Location: North Crackalacken "Seinfeld" - Georges answering machines message anyone? .:KNAS:., May 23, 2003 Joined: Sep 12, 2002 Messages: 2,031 Location: Monterrey, Mexico you guys are killing me, I feel like I want to buy an answering machin ASAP! Zcylen, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2003 Messages: 603 Gender: Male Location: northwest Montana Any of you read Doug Hofstadter's Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid? If so, you'll understand the message I actually put on my office voice mailbox: "Your message has just been sent to Tumbolia, the land of dead hiccups and burnt-out light bulbs. Have a nice day." Siegmund, May 23, 2003 Joined: Aug 9, 2002 Messages: 9,471 Location: USA Hello, you have reached the [enter your name here] residence. Please leave your message after the beep. [About a minute passes, no beep. The person decides to leave their message. Hopefully a particularly long one.] *beep* Ohhhhhh, yes. Oh, yeah! Uh huh, ohhhhhh yeah... Ooohhh... Oh my God, is that thing recording? *beep* If you are trying to reach [your phone number here], please stop. I don't like people calling me. I don't like people at all, really. If you have any will to survive, please do not decide to call me back. Thank you. [Only if you don't live in a German-speaking place]: STOPPEN SIE, MICH, SIE ANZURUFEN DUMME LAUNE! ICH MAG SIE NICHT! GEHEN SIE ZUR HÖLLE! OH- UND VERLASSEN IHRE ANZEIGE NACH DEM SIGNALTON. *beep* WillJ, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jan 9, 2002 Messages: 149 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada K-Man, May 23, 2003 Joined: Jun 1, 2002 Messages: 1,148 Location: Québec Hello? Yes, yes, okay, okay, yes, wait a minute... bip!

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Friends and colleagues speak to each using first names only. So do people of authority. They do not call each other and leave voicemail messages asking for Mister, Miss, or Mrs. Therefore, when you call a person you want to do business with and you leave a voicemail message, refer to them by their first name only. Don't say mister, miss, or misses. Don't say their last name. Begin your voicemail message by saying only "hi/hello" followed by the person's first name. Or, you can even forget the "hi/hello" and just say the person's first name. That is how you show confidence and authority and separate yourself from weak salespeople.

Website: https://www.slideshare.net/voicemailprofessional/best-voicemail-greetings
Hello! You’ve reached [Natasha on the Product Development Team at LinkedPhone]. I’m not available at the moment but your call is important to me. Please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call and I’ll call you back as soon as possible. Thank you and have a great day!
Keep it simple, concise and to the point. Callers won’t need your life story, and won’t want to wait around for a 2-minute greeting to end just so they can leave a message. Don’t hide the details, tell them where you will be, when you will be there, or when you won’t be there, and how to get in touch.
Help CFC Save the World In the top 200 of over 44,000 teams. All you need is a computer. Now folding with the help of Blazer6. taper, May 26, 2003 "Oh my God, the ringing, THE RINGING! Please, STOP THE RINGING!!! AAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!!!!" *beep* WillJ, May 26, 2003 Joined: Feb 8, 2002 Messages: 10,278 Location: Atlanta, former CSA Irish Caesar, May 28, 2003 Joined: Feb 16, 2003 Messages: 3,098 Location: -4 GMT I don't feel like answering the phone right now. If you leave a message maybe I'll get back to you...or maybe I won't. If you don't hear from me in 72 hours, I decided not to return your call. YNCS, May 28, 2003 Log in with Facebook Your name or email address: Do you already have an account? No, create an account now. Yes, my password is: Home Forums > COLOSSEUM > Humor & Jokes > Search Forums Recent Posts Account Upgrades Civ6 Civ5 Civ4 Civ3 Civ2 Civ1 Modiki Members Notable Members Current Visitors Recent Activity New Profile Posts Search titles only Posted by Member: Newer Than: Search this thread only Search this forum only Display results as threads Style Civilization VI Language English (US) Contact Us Help Home Top RSS Here are some funny answering machine messages to download and record to your answering machine. If you are not Redirected Please Click Here to Continue to the Answering Machine Messages
Nobody wants to listen to a long-winded voicemail. Keep your greeting short, simple, and concise. A voicemail message should pique a client’s interest and leave them looking forward to your call. Stick to the basics, explaining your company name, hours of operation, and when to expect a callback.

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What's better than one of these not-so-funny voicemail messages? A voicemail greeting that's well written and professionally recorded. The most important thing to remember when writing a new voicemail is don't waste the caller's time. A concise, informative voicemail may seem "square," but its better than irritating and alienating potential business opportunity. Tags: resources, tips, greetings Recent Blogs Taking Your Presentations To The Next Level With Audio and Voice April 01, 2019 Tools to Support Message on Hold Production October 12, 2018 tips (186) resources (163) message on hold (154) marketing (118) customer experience (101) Home Forums > COLOSSEUM > Humor & Jokes >

I’d also say that it might be helpful for this sales agent to be using a script to leave a message. Most of the time when I listen to voice mail, I don’t have a lot of time. Messages that sound like the sales person is fumbling for words make it very frustrating for the message recipient.
No14: Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can. Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO. Bless you, my child, and have a nice day.
– Hi, I will be studying at the University library till late. Cannot carry my phone inside. Will get back to you as soon as I can. So leave a message after the beep.
Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Sam can't come to the phone right now because he's spending the week in his beautiful summer home on the French Riviera.
21. Hello, this is [your name]. I’m not much of a phone person, so don’t bother leaving a message. Send me an email at [email address] and I’ll get back to you within 24 hours.

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8. Hello, you’ve reached [your name], [your job title] at [your company]. I’m sorry for missing your call, but if you leave a message that includes your name and contact information, I’ll get in touch as soon as I can.

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A special high five to Margot Howard for her outstanding research and contributions to this article. We love working with and supporting like-minded entrepreneurs who are passionate about business success strategies. Thank you Margot! ❤️

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Hello. This is Mark and Nathan's phone. We're not here right now, but the phone is.

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Your voice is missing! You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

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As I was about to get into advising you on the best practices of voicemail recordings and greetings, here’s what was blasting in my ears: “I can’t keep on losing you / Over complications / Gone too soon / Wait, we was just hangin’”… I’ll let you make the parallel.

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Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for your amusement and use. Professional - Voicemail messages that you can use in an office or business setting. Short - Voicemail greetings that are quick and get straight to the point.

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8. Hello, you’ve reached [your name], [your job title] at [your company]. I’m sorry for missing your call, but if you leave a message that includes your name and contact information, I’ll get in touch as soon as I can.

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download professional voicemail greetings

A special high five to Margot Howard for her outstanding research and contributions to this article. We love working with and supporting like-minded entrepreneurs who are passionate about business success strategies. Thank you Margot! ❤️

professional personal voicemail greeting

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Hello. This is Mark and Nathan's phone. We're not here right now, but the phone is.

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Your voice is missing! You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

personal phone message greeting

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As I was about to get into advising you on the best practices of voicemail recordings and greetings, here’s what was blasting in my ears: “I can’t keep on losing you / Over complications / Gone too soon / Wait, we was just hangin’”… I’ll let you make the parallel.

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Funny - Humorous voicemail greetings for your amusement and use. Professional - Voicemail messages that you can use in an office or business setting. Short - Voicemail greetings that are quick and get straight to the point.

Create an account.

Be Part
Of Our
Story!