Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner your name here does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. Hello, your name summer home. Leave your message at the tone.
Like, right before you recorded this greeting you realized how dumb it would be to leave instructions. But you still wanted me to know how dumb it would be for you to leave instructions, so you wasted 20 seconds of my time telling me that you already knew I would know how to do it.
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Seconds later say “HAHA, that was a fake beep created by my mouth. I fooled you good!” A is for A, B is for Beer, C is for C, D is for Drunk. Call me back in 48 hours when I’m R for Recovered! A is for apple, B is for beer and that may be why I’m not here. Leave a message. Alright listen, I’m on one line with my girlfriend and her best friend on the other. Leave a message and if you promise to not tell either of them that I’m a player, I’ll call you back. Back in MY DAY we didn’t use answering machines. We used jumbo sized devices to take messages for us. Those we called “Answering Machines” and I just realized.. I sound like an idiot! Bob is currently in the shower. He’s there an hour per day. I wonder what the heck he does in that time. Oh well, probably plays with himself. Help me.. HELP ME!! My wife wants me in bed. PLEASE CALL 911!!!! HURRY!!! AHHHHH!!! Hi this is Bob’s answering machine and I will need a few things from you. #1 is your full name including middle name. #2 is your address including postal code. #3 is your credit card number with the 3 digit security code on the back. There’s a porn site I want to join and I don’t want to use my moms information. Hi you have reached Bob and I’m not interested in having my grass cut, buying new windows or installing new doors. Hi you’ve reached Bob. If you want to leave a message press 1. If you want to leave a message about how sexy I am, press 2. If you have the wrong number, press 9. As you already can tell, the number pressing doesn’t do anything. I did all this just to feel.. cool.. Hi, I am Bob’s answering machine and he’s pissing me off. Everyday he changes his messages and I’m sick of all the button pressing he does. If you come over, can you please take me? I need a new owner who doesn’t push buttons! Hi, I understand how annoying long messages can be. Why do people always waste so much time talking about crap? Well I’m with you on this one. I can’t stand people who leave long messages talking about nothing useful. Why can’t they just get to the point? All they have to say is “Hey I’m not here cause I’m doing important stuff. Leave a message!” Anyways I kept this message short. Leave one after the beep. Hi, I’m in the process of getting married. Why can’t the priest operate as quick as a microwave? Less than 5 minutes or your money back! Hi, I’m not interested in answering your call right now but my voicemail is. Leave one! Hi, if you’re a telemarketer give me your number and I’ll call you back. What, you don’t want me to call you back? Now you know how I feel! Hi, my name is the answering machine and I record messages in your very own authentic voice. Would you like to increase the size of your penis? I sell those too! Hi, this is Bob’s voicemail and he’s on vacation. He’s in the Caribbean partying with all the tourists. If you like you can rob his place and I won’t say a word! Hi, you’ve reached the pizza delivery guy and I’m trying to make a delivery but am stuck waiting for the train to go by for the 10th time. This customer gets me every time! I had the phone ringing in my hand but was too lazy to answer it. Leave a message. If you are a male, keep your voice and say you are a female. Hi, this is Bob’s girlfriend. I drove him in debt and took his phone. Leave a message and if you sound rich & sexy, you’ll hear back! If you’re calling for Bob, press 1. If you are calling for Greg, press 2. Hey I have some news for you, there’s no Greg at this number. HAHA I lied to you! You got fooled pretty good! I’m pretty drunk & unstable. I think my hands are vibrating. How am I going to hold my next drink without spilling it?? PLEASE TELL ME!! I’m probably too lazy to answer. Leave a message and I’ll call back. If you don’t hear from me, then it’s cause I don’t like you! Keep your original voice Hi, I’m Katie and.. Who did I say I was? Oh man, I gotta keep off the Viagra! Make sound effects with your mouth. Yo Yo Yo.. This is Bob who’s here to make the save. You want to talk to me but I will be charging a fee. Leave a message so I can make enough for a massage! Oh no.. You’re calling.. Someone.. please pull my plug!!! Hello.. anyone there?? NOOOOOO… Oh wicked, I finally got an answering machine. YAY! Now how do you work this thing? Let’s see.. To record message, press the REC button. Alright, where the heck is the REC button? Someone else says out loud Bob you moron, it’s right here and you already pressed it! Then you say Ahh crap! Sorry I don’t answer the phone or check my messages but if you are calling to donate me money, leave a message and I’ll call you back within seconds. Sorry I missed your call. I’m probably running away from the wife. She’s in one of those moods.. AGAIN! This is Bob and I just picked up the best answering machine in the world. The recordings are in high quality. Leave a message now so I can listen to it in 5.1 surround sound! Yo, this is Bob coming to you from the rave, never knowing when to behave. I can rhyme within time and you should leave one before I win a ton! If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone. Funny Joker : I love funny jokes which is probably why I own this very funny jokes website :-) The jokes here are NOT work friendly, you've been warned. 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Free Phone Message Template Funny Answering Machine Free Phone Message Template Witty Answer Messages Funny Funny Voicemail Greeting Example A Greetings For Cell Phones Waiting Bd Funny Answering Machine Voicemail Messages Voicemail Messages Cartoons And Comics Funny Pictures From Related : Funny Voicemail Greetings Audio.
Hello. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been? We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you around… beep.
Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password. Please leave a message.
How To Get Google Voice Voicemail To Work With Tracfone Jesse S Blag Google Voice How To Get Tech Company Logos
The following greeting accomplishes this succinctly. Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – The Work From Anywhere Business Phone System]. Our office is closed until [Monday, January 25th for the holiday weekend]. If your call is urgent, please contact [Anya at 212-555-1212 or [email protected] ].
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"I totally get why some animals eat their young," Pepper said. - Author: Jamie Farrell #2. The story of life is quicker then the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello, goodbye. - Author: Jimi Hendrix #3. Say that this is real. That it counts. - Author: Cora Carmack #4. Everywhere I go, everyone I talk with, everyone I think about - their salvation is what is on my mind. I love fellowship with Christians, but I can't become preoccupied with the pleasure of fellowship when I know that sinners are sinking into hell. - Author: Kirk Cameron #5. I've taken the leap of faith to stop punching the company time clock and start working for myself. I'm now the CEO of Starfish Media Group, my production company, in New York City. - Author: Soledad O'Brien #6. Far from being an aberration that is not representative of Christianity, the persecution of heretics follows logically from the connection of faith and salvation as presented by Jesus in the Gospels. - Author: Shadia Drury #7. You're always against the clock. But really just fighting for quality. - Author: Cary Fukunaga #8. When nature calls, I don't let it go to voicemail. - Author: Nenia Campbell #9. I'm talking about science on the leading edge, where it's not clear which way things are going be cause we don't know, and I'm dealing with areas which we don't know about. - Author: Rupert Sheldrake #10. Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. - Author: Dalai Lama XIV #11. After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion. When you're married you have to cut through that. - Author: Dan Castellaneta #12. Some things are impossible. - Author: Alex Van Halen
Hey, who’s this? I’d actually pick up, but my phone is staring at me. OMG! I just saw it wink!
my friend had a really good one, he sang; when i was younger i was born, 'eric said when i was younger i was born, my names eric, and i wrote it, he sang it, it was funny at the time. Related Posts Which golf club is designed to hit the ball with the highest launch angle? September 23, 2021 thanh Which product was originally marketed as an esteemed brain tonic & intellectual beverage? 5 best headphones that don’t leak sound Best Headphones for Snowboarding The 10 best color laser printers | Wireless | All-in-one Top 6 Fastest 3D Printers in 2021 Best gaming laptop for Warzone Remember Me Forgot your password? Forgot your username? HomeTexts & Test Literary SeriesScientific SeriesTechnical SeriesG1-G2-H SeriesBEPC LevelFirst CycleTeacher's Corner Professional Test SamplesPedagogy & DidacticsEnglish Syllabus - Form 1English Syllabus - Form 2English Syllabus - Form 3English Syllabus - Form 4Listening ActivitiesSpeaking ActivitiesReading ActivitiesWriting ActivitiesEFL Resources GrammarEnglish IdiomsWashington FilesLighter CornerMiscellaneous You are here: Home / EFL Resources / Lighter Corner / general / Funny Answering Machine Messages Print Email Details Hits: 20974 Article Index Funny Answering Machine Messages Page 2 Last page All Pages
I enjoyed reading your article :) PLease continue publishing helpful topics like this. Regards, from Let's get gadget, a company whose into selling
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Jimmy pulled over while on his way to Dallas to give his friend Mark a call. Alas Mark didn’t answer so Jimmy decides to leave him a voicemail.
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5. Delay Announcement. What the caller hears every two minutes that they are in the waiting queue. Sample Scripts: “Thank you for your patience. All of our agents are still busy.