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7. 605–475–6958: How to decide whether you are sober. Are you unable to tell whether you are drunk or sober? (that should be a hint in itself.) Feel free to enlist the help of the Sobriety Test hotline.

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Our Favorite Funny Voicemail Greetings . 1. Elvis Presley Rocks Your Voicemail. Elvis appeared in 31 films, performed in 1,156 U.S. concerts and has sold more than a billion albums since the 1950’s. Why not bring his iconic voice to your personal voicemail to entertain your callers? Elvis Presley Voicemail Recording. To the tune of "Jailhouse
Hello? Hello? Hellooo? I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak up, I can't hear you. That's because I'm not home. Leave a message. .

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Then, the email would say: “Ms. Smith, Fluffy’s next appointment is on Monday the 12th at 1:00. Please click to reply/confirm this appointment at [name of practice]. If we do not hear from you in the next five business days, this slot may be given away. Thank you.” "Does that mean the number of incoming calls and voice mails are also in massive decline in the world of veterinary medicine in favor of electronic communication? Probably not."
If you’re looking for a short and simple message, we suggest turning to Homer Simpson as he tells callers to… leave a message.

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5. Happy Holidays from GetVoIP! Sorry we couldn’t find one of the interns to answer your call, we’re all tied up trying to finish off this supply of Eggnog before the year ends. Feel free to check out our website, or even leave a message. We’ll be returning to the office after the New Year on January 2nd, and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.
Already know who you are and why you've called, please hang up and after we will tell each other everything.

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Need some ideas for funny voicemail greetings? Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers: No one answers phone …

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    But then the bag flies open and among the contents that fall out is a bible. So she pick’s it up and starts to pummel the man with that too.

    In the end, it’ll be down to you or your team to record and customize their own personal greeting. Depending on the overall culture and identity of your business, it might make sense to engage customers with a friendlier, warm and fun holiday greeting – while others might benefit more from clean cut, down to business explanations of schedule changes. , to get you started, here are a few quick templates to build off of. Feel free to tailor, change, customize or completely start from scratch! These could of course be used for your own individual office greeting, or your entire company’s greeting.
    So, haha funny story, my phone and I are playing hide and seek…. Hey before you leave that message, do you want to know something about me?

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    Jodi R.R. Smith from Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting and author of From Clueless to Class Act: Manners for the Modern Woman and From Clueless to Class Act: Manners for the Modern Man agrees that veterinary medicine is a profession where phone calls remain important and necessary. If you need to leave a voice mail message for a client, Smith offers these ideas on how to make the most of your message.

    24. Hello, you’ve reached [business name]. Every call is important to us, so please leave a brief message that includes your name and phone number so a member of our customer success team can call you back as quickly as possible.
    What is the recorded message that the seller listens/responds to when s/he calls the number on your postcard?

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    https://soundcloud.com/phorest-salon-software/sets/phorest-salon-software-salon-voicemail-messages-examples

    This is not an answering machine–this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.
    Hello, this is Rip van Winkle. I'm not awake to take your call right now. Please leave your message at the sound of the snore.

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    I’m sorry, I’ve been trying to break the record for "the most calls missed" if it's a emergency or your dieing or something, please hold on till the record is broken, and I will call you back.

    38. Thanks for calling [company name]. We’re unable to take your call right now, but leave your details and we’ll call you right back.
    2. Hello you’ve reached Matt Grech, I’ll be out of the office for the next few days due to the holidays. Feel free to leave a message, or you can shoot me an email at Matt@GetVoIP if something urgent pops up. I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I return to the office. Happy holidays!

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Answering the phone with funny phrases, like “talk to me” or “Yello”, is a classic. However, the more creative you are, the funnier you will be. For example, according to List Keepers, the No. 1 funny way to answer the phone is: “City Morgue, you kill them, we relax ’em.”

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