2. It should only take 8 seconds to connect me with your phone, and no longer. So if I have to listen to 15 seconds of your crappy music, it means you’ve prolonged the connection process just to expose me to your musical tastes. How dare you.
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If you are family/friends, press 1. If you are someone looking to give me a job, press 2. If you are one of the multiple out-of-area code numbers that constantly insist upon calling me, even though you should know by now im never going to answer, press the end button. This is the voicemail box of The Goddess.
"Hello. No one's home and the answering machine isn't working. This is the refrigerator. Please leave your message with me and I'll stick it to myself with this magnet. Thank you." MacRumors attracts a broad audience of both consumers and professionals interested in the latest technologies and products. We also boast an active community focused on purchasing decisions and technical aspects of the iPhone, iPod, iPad, and Mac platforms.
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2. The Simpsons Share a Funny Answering Greeting. If you’re looking for a short and simple message, we suggest turning to Homer Simpson as he tells callers to… leave a message.
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And my cousin, she's a real girly-girl and you can actually tell from her voice and all she says in her voicemail greeting is:
By Michele Meleen Counselor. Cute Messages.Are you thinking about changing your voicemail greeting? Would you like some help from us? Set up a cranky, funny voicemail, and share a moment of laughter with your dear ones, before they understand your intention behind it and run to get you! Whenever I call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells me a lot about who they are, as a person. What does your greeting have?
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We actually know a top insurance sales guy who did a sales motivational message every day just like this, and people used to call just to listen to his thoughts.
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Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible. This is Chris. This is his refrigerator.
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Cats don’t enjoy following anyone’s rules. They want everything on their own terms — total rebels. If they had their own phones and could speak like humans (stay with me), they’d definitely screen their calls, because they want to be the ones to decide when they chat with others. And no one would tell them what to say in their voicemail greetings, either. Guidelines are for suckers.
A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future…. A is for academics, B is for beer. So leave a message. After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does…….
46. Hello, you’ve reached [name], [job title] at [company]. I’m currently away from my desk or on another call. Please leave a detailed message so I can return your call as soon as I get back.
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I’ve been fond of Jane Barbe’s voice since it is familiar to anyone who has experienced a telephone problem. The mashups came from actual recordings.
Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages – Phone Losers Of America. Our Pre Recorded Message Packages Are Available In All Common Audio Formats Mp3 Wave Alaw Ulaw 16Bit 18Bit. Download Voicemail Greetings For Free Browse Most Popular Greetings And Add A Greeting To Your Youmail Visual Voicemail.
We surround ourselves with positive people and influences, and we live life with a strength that’s forged by the conviction of our beliefs, not the strong pull of our society towards the lowest common denominator.
Our previous post on funny voicemail greetings got so much attention, we thought we'd continue…. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. We guarantee that Ninja Number will help grow your business. January 19, Our users have volunteered their best greetings that are guaranteed to bring a chuckle to your callers: No one answers phone calls anymore; send me a text. Who is this?!
This short, quick message tells him how you feel, shows he's on your mind, and makes him start thinking about you. All Rights Reserved.However, our staff loves to have fun when we can so we hope these funny voicemail greetings bring you a smile. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Just kidding, buddy.
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what to say for your personal voicemail greeting
I did one once where I just said "hello?" - then paused for a few seconds and continued ... Quite a few people said they started talking before being interrupted by me telling them to leave a message!
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Please make a note of it. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around. OK, what would you like me to tell me? This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service. This is a magic voicemail message.
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The following greeting accomplishes this succinctly. Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – The Work From Anywhere Business Phone System]. Our office is closed until [Monday, January 25th for the holiday weekend]. If your call is urgent, please contact [Anya at 212-555-1212 or [email protected] ].
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I’m home right now . . . I’m just screening my calls. So just start talking and if you’re someone I want to speak to I’ll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?
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Could you suggest some voicemail greetings, I’m all out. It would be better if you left it to me as a message after the beep.
Hello. This is Mark and Nathan's phone. We're not here right now, but the phone is.
3. YouMail Robocall Blocker & Voicemail. YouMail is one amongst the great free visual voicemail app that acts as spammer and robocalls blocker to protect you from unwanted callers.
After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. I'll get back to you as soon as it's safe for you to come out of hiding.
39. Hi, this is [your name]. I’m not at my desk right now, so leave a message and I’ll call you back within 24 hours.
41 Funniest Voicemail Greetings in the World. Many years ago, in a time before cell phones (Yes it exists, and I remember it!) I used to get inundated with phone calls to my landline at all times of day and night.
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I’m sorry, the number you have dialed is in working order. If you were expecting an error, please hang up and try another number.
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4. “What the hell do you want?” Well, this statement can be mistaken if you are having a bad day, but it will sound humorous if you answer your phone call with this.
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-…and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. I would have answered, but I was already on the phone with Bill Gates—I swear.
It is true, the people we want the most, we have to live without. Saying goodbye to you is such a crazy thing! Promise me this is not the end of everything. Thank you!
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Wrap up with a call to action, an explicit call to action again speaking to their subconscious mind. So here's what you have to do next. Take a moment, leave me a message with your name, phone number twice, including your area code, the address of the property you're thinking of selling, your asking price. A lot of people don't like to include that because they don't want the seller fixating on a price. I like to know what's on their mind if they even have a starting point. You noticed, I don't say what you're asking, what, what you need to get for the property, because I'm probably not going to be able to offer them their asking price, but I'd like to know what, if anything, they have in mind.
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2. The “I’m Busy But I’ll Call Back” Greeting. Thank you for calling [insert business name], we are unavailable at the moment right now, probably trying to finish your project.
Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk! This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial?
Translation: If you sound unsure, then your current clients, prospects, and partners won’t be so sure about you either.
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“Hello, you’ve reached the Marketing Department at [XYZ Company]. All of our team members are currently working with other clients to [insert goal] and are unable to take your call.
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Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there!
Keeping such hilarious greetings will not only make you feel good, but your callers will also enjoy listening to them. Would you like to write for us? Well, we're looking for good writers who want to spread the word.
Ready to try OpenPhone free for seven days? Sign up today and leave a great first impression on your next caller.
This article is about the second main type of greeting – the voicemail greeting. All businesses should have professional voicemail greetings at the company level (i.e. your general business number), department level (e.g. customer service), and employee level, where applicable. It’s important that each of these voicemail greetings align with the brand and personality of your company to ensure that every caller has a consistent experience. Let’s dive in!
If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2and we will connect you to Mothership.
If you're seeing this message, that means JavaScript has been disabled on your browser, please enable JS to make Imgur work. Witty Quotes Clever Quotes Funny Quotes Wisdom Quotes Funny ThingsGood Questions Mysterious Questions Funny Signs Funny Headlines Funny Definitions Other QuotesArmy Quotes Computer Quotes Respect Quotes Political Quotes Love Quotes Life Quotes Inspirational Quotes Friendship Quotes Marriage Quotes Happy Birthday Quotes Sorry I can’t get to the phone right now because my girlfriend and I are doing our favorite thing together. Personally I like doing it up and down, while she likes doing it side-to-side r-e-a-l slow... So I’ll get back to you when we finish brushing our teeth. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money. This is not an answering machine this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call. Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I find it. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message. Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI. You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up. Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone.
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Hello… pause. Hello… long pause. Who is this? long pause again Is anyone on the line?…long pause and beep sound.
That's a common word that I use. And it includes really anything that involves, uh, a junky house, just a house that they inherited, no matter the condition, a house problem could mean the house itself or the situation. So I let the seller know we specialize in hard to sell homes and I go through a laundry list of things that that might include and yes, we can help. I want them to begin connecting me as somebody that helps people in their mind.
“Leave a message! Dit dit dit dit dit, dut dut. Dit dit dit dit dit, dut dut… After the beep.”
– Thanks for calling. This is (name). Today is a Friday and I am working from our corporate office. If you need to reach me immediately, please call (number). Otherwise, please leave me a message and I’ll return your call as soon as possible.
Movies and Television. There is surely no better way to make voicemail fun than with pop culture references. Tim Gunn . Play off a classic line delivered by Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca. "Of all the messages on all the phones in all the world, you have to leave one for me."
5. “GRANDPA! YOU ARE ALIVE!” The Wattpad rated this phrase as the funniest way to answer the phone on its website. Suppose if you get a call from your introvert friend, squeal happily as soon as he says hello.
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The days of “Let’s talk soon!” have evolved into, if not a text, then “I’ll leave you a message!” FREE Five-Day Challenge LEARN THE 25 HABITS OF A REMARKABLY CLASSY PERSON. Count Me In!
7. 605–475–6958: How to decide whether you are sober. Are you unable to tell whether you are drunk or sober? (that should be a hint in itself.) Feel free to enlist the help of the Sobriety Test hotline.
Customizing your outbound voicemail greeting for different callers is just the tip of the iceberg! Sign up today for FREE! Enhanced visual voicemail. Call blocking. Voicemail sharing. Voicemail to email. Voicemail to text. Much more! Sign Up.
Please make a note of it. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around. OK, what would you like me to tell me? This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service. This is a magic voicemail message.
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Your voicemail greeting can make a positive or negative impression on people. By considering your target audience and tone, you should be able to keep it positive. Length: Don’t make people wait minutes to leave a message. Apologies: If people expect your to be available, apologize for missing their call. Set expectations: Let people know when they may receive a callback, but be realistic. Accuracy: If you change your voicemail for things like holidays, be sure to update it when needed. How do You Set Up a Business Voicemail?
